By Ox Drover
If I told you that you had to eat an entire cow, do you think you could do it? How about if I told you that you had to eat an entire cow in only ten minutes? Do you think you could do it? “Holy cow! I can’t do that!” you might say.
Well, I think we all have our personal “cows” that we try to eat. Big jobs or big projects that we look at and say “Noooooo way, I can’t eat all of that!” So having seen this particular “cow” as too big to swallow in one bite, we never even attempt to eat it. We just let it sit there in the middle of our lives, using up our resources, taking up space, and growing bigger by the day! Every time we look at this “pet cow,” it is bigger and bigger and more impossible to swallow in one bite. Its horns grow longer and it gets a worse and worse attitude toward us and we begin to fear it more. Maybe even when people come over to visit and they see our “cow,” they say something like, “What is a big cow doing in your living room?” We may even reply, “What cow? I don’t have a cow.”
If, however, we look at the reality of this “cow—”or any other big “cow—”things are a bit different. If you stop to think, a McDonald’s hamburger is a “quarter pounder” and four quarter pounders equals one pound of beef. Since an average-sized cow will produce about 300 pounds of boneless hamburger/beef, then one cow is equal to 1,200 McDonald’s Quarter Pounders. So you have more than likely eaten more than one cow in your lifetime already! One bite at a time.
I can remember looking at lots of things that seemed like such big projects, big “cows,” that I just didn’t think I could tackle them at all. If you break these big projects down to bite sized pieces though, then you can eat them in 10 minutes—10 minutes at a time.
Let’s say the “big cow” is cleaning out your garage, which is stuffed to the rafters and you don’t even know where to start. Spend 10 minutes working on it today. Just 10 minutes! Then the next day, another 10 minutes. Small bites of a big cow will eventually get the job done.
When we start to look at all the work we need to do to finish the “big project” of our own healing after the complete devastation of the relationship with the psychopath, sometimes we feel like we have, I think, a whole herd of “cows” in our lives that we have to contend with. We may feel like we are overwhelmed by such a mountain of “male bovine excrement” as well, that seems to be piling up higher and higher each day. There are always the everyday projects of work, housekeeping, children, pets, community and other things that take our energy, so that we seem to have little or no energy left for dealing with sweeping out the bovine excrement. Even thinking about eating our way out of the problem doesn’t seem possible because we can’ swallow it all at once.
Changing our expectations from eating the cow in one bite, to eating the cow one bite at a time works. So start breaking your expectations down to smaller doses of things you can swallow! Then just keep on chewing!
nolarn,
When you are victorious over a sociopath – or group of them – it’s a victory for all of us!
A lot of these gals are extremely narcissistic. This is what my preceptor told me-when the manager hired me, she told everyone how she had this new nurse coming who had all this great ICU experience with tons of trauma and great recommendations. A couple of these gals who were highly experienced were enjoying their “queen of the cath lab status” and didn’t want someone new coming in to their turf. They also never liked my preceptor also, because she came from out of state with a lot of experience and they were threatened by her as well. I never wanted to try to show them up or take their titles away. I just wanted to learn a new specialty and make some good money to pay off bills so I could quit nursing. These gals were overheard talking about how they didn’t like me from the beginning and wanted me gone. I didn’t get involved in their drama. I kept to myself and did my job. They tried to harrass me like the mean girls from high school and I think it bugged the shit out of them that I didn’t let their behavior bother me. I just did my thing. They eventually began to make false allegations against me to try and get rid of me and this just started at the beginning of February. Everything fell apart in a month’s time. They did exactly what they wanted to get my out and it doesn’t matter what kinda lies that had to tell to do it. I have documentation though and any attorney should be all over this wantin to make some money off them. HR has handled the whole thing wrong from the word go. I have had two high ranking police officers tell me that I have a serious case against them for slander and defamation of character.
2 cop,
I’m sooooooo proud of you. You’re so much stronger than you even know or believe you are. Your determination is amazing and I respect it so much. When I read your posts, it’s like a strong woman with a bullhorn lol! Calling all the shots..it’s great! Do what you think is right for you. Go get em chica!
LL
thanks LL-I started to get so angry when I’m thinking of having to move out of state to somewhere I don’t wanna be because of these freaks. I’m fightin before I just lay down and let that happen. I sent off for my Missouri license today but DAMMIT, I don’t wanna freakin move back there if I don’t have to. When I moved back to NOLA from there, I kissed the ground when I got here. Why should I let some fucking spaths run me out of town?
Mama Gem
YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So they were threatened by you. Sounds like you knew from the beginning what was going down there. I’ve been in places like that. I didn’t stay long.
I admit I stayed too long at the party because I had goals for the long term that involved getting out of the field. I wanted that to be my last nursing job. I didn’t go in there though, acting like ms know it all. That’s not how I operate. When I did start looking for jobs, I considered travel nursing. When the recruiters found out that I did a year of cath lab, they were all over wanting to get me a cath lab job. I said no- I didn’t feel like I had sufficient training in the year that I was there to do that. I don’t feel comfortable in it and I don’t like it. It’s good that I’m not there, but they knew that I was actively looking for jobs and they wanted me out. They should have had the patience to wait it out. Three days after they terminated me, the ICU manager called me and told me that she had a position for me. I had been trying to get up there for weeks. It was too late at that point. It is illegal though for them to blackball me and they are also contesting my unemployment. I had a job offer that was supposed to start today. All I needed was my drug screen. I had a name badge and everything. I found out that two of these girls also worked PRN with the agency and the lady at the agency made a point of telling me how they did business. They agreed to look past the termination since my references and work history was impeccable prior to this. Suddenly when I called to schedule my drug screen, I was told that they were no longer interested in me and that they were stopping the hiring process. How much you wanna bet they called these girls and bypassed HR to get the dirt on me> I’m sure that’s why the offer was rescinded.
Nolarn, there are always consequences for doing business with sociopaths, even when it seems like there might be some good things. The bad ALWAYS outweighs the good. I’m so sorry you had to learn this the hard way. But next time you will avoid any job environments like this, no matter how great the opportunity *seems*. It’s just not worth it. 🙁
I know. I just need something that I could stay in long enough to get in shape and lose that weight. Then I will celebrate in the army recruiters office. I just want to nail all their balls to the wall before that happens. I haven’t told the whole story but based on what they’ve done, they could potentially pay money to get me to go away if I get a decent attorney who wants to work for me. The HR department there has opened themselves up for some serious shit and I have a police report for workplace hostility to back up my documentation. They also manipulated me and prevented me from filing a grievance for what they did.
2 cop
I AGREE with you! And I support your efforts!
LL