You may want to tell your story of surviving a sociopath in the media, either to warn others about the person with whom you were involved (who is likely working on the next target), or to warn others about the millions of sociopaths who live among us. You may even want to write a book about your experience.
Your first consideration in telling your story publicly is whether you can do it safely. Are you extricated from the involvement? Could publicity jeopardize your legal or financial situation? Could you be sued for defamation? Have you recovered enough emotionally, so that talking about your experience will not re-traumatize you?
You may be thinking, “Can I tell my story anonymously?” The answer is maybe — it depends on the media outlet. Magazines or websites may be willing to protect your identity, and you’ve probably seen segments on TV in which a person is shown in silhouette and the voice is disguised.
However, if you think your tale is suitable for a reality TV show, like on Investigation Discovery or Oxygen, the producers will probably want to show you on camera. In the end, whether you can remain anonymous depends on what the reporter or producer is looking for.
Tips for telling your story
If you want to tell your story publicly, either now or in the future, here are some tips:
- Write down what happened, either by keeping notes or writing in a journal. As time goes by, everyone tends to forget the details. You may need them later — especially if you want to write a book.
- Save everything — receipts, emails, text messages, calendars, documents — anything that will help you reconstruct and prove your story. Keep your documents in a safe place that the sociopath doesn’t know about. Many sociopaths have stolen and destroyed documents.
- Save all the photos, videos and audio. Yes, people may tell you to delete or burn everything. But if you ever want to tell your story on TV, they will want visuals to show on the screen. The quality of your visuals may be the difference in whether producers will accept your story or not.
- Do not sign a “non-disparagement” agreement. Sociopaths know what they are, and they know they will target another victim. So the last thing they want is for you to disclose what they’re really like. Many sociopaths put gag orders into divorces and other documents. If you sign it, you could be in legal jeopardy if you tell your story.
- If you are going to court against the sociopath, put everything you may want to say about your experience in the court documents. Court proceedings, including any documents filed, are considered “privileged.” This means anything you say in court can be repeated publicly without fear of a defamation lawsuit.
For more info, read Exposing the sociopath — what to think about
Why it’s important to tell your story
As a society, we are clueless. Millions of sociopaths live among us, but most of us don’t even know it. That’s why we got caught — we didn’t know we should be on the lookout for people can seem so normal, but are actually human predators.
The more we tell our stories, the more we raise awareness of these exploiters and manipulators. This is how we protect the people we love.
Lovefraud does publish stories anonymously, with all identifying information removed. If you’d like to share your experience, please submit it via link below. You can also indicate whether you are interested in talking to the media.