By | February 7, 2015 3 Comments

I couldn’t believe he was so harsh and cruel

Spath TalesEditor’s Note: This SPATH Tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we’ll call “Trina.” Names have been changed in this tale.

I dated “Samuel” for three and one half years.

I knew he had a criminal past and supported him changing and turning his life around.

We were penpals and he wrote me beautiful letters and poems declaring his love.

He was amazing at first and so perfect for me, we clicked on every level and I had never met someone more right for me so I moved to the United States.

At first he was still very loving although a little dull if I’m honest. After a while we began arguing. One argument was on New Year’s eve. A woman from his work called him before midnight. I got upset, as this was our time and I thought it was strange she would call him then at that time. I wondered why he didn’t just say he was with his fiancé. He was so angry and hurt, he was offended I would even think such a thing of him.

I felt bad. Guilty of being untrusting and jealous when I hadn’t even realized I was.

He became very critical and I really wanted to go back to the love we once had. He blamed me for the smallest of things and I really started to blame myself.

I left him at one point. We argued after I paid his rent. I asked him how it was going with my visa paperwork and he snapped saying I was using him. He told me it was over and got annoyed when I asked for the rent money back. I didn’t talk to him for a few weeks but then we got back in touch and he declared his love and devotion and said he needed me.

The next time I saw him he was angry that I had asked him how long he would be so I could order food and it wouldn’t be cold.

I left for the UK because my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

He was very supportive; declaring his support and devotion and promised that he was my family and would support me by coming to join me in the UK. He wanted to leave the US as he needed a new start. He told me he had been in trouble with an old enemy when he tried to protect himself. He said that he had been singled out due to his criminal history and cried that he couldn’t make a fresh start.

I sent him money for court fees and to release his parole. I ended up sending around $16,000. He told me he was robbed and even sent me a photo of himself in the hospital and told me his face had been badly scarred.

I received an email from him asking for intimate pictures and telling me I was the only constant in his life and his only friend, he said he was flying out to me at the weekend and then I heard nothing…. nothing at all until a friend saw the same woman who called him on New Year’s Eve two years prior (the one we argued about) announcing that they had a baby boy. The dates didn’t add up, this would mean that he got her pregnant while we were still very much together.

He wouldn’t reply to my messages. After this discovery I did more digging and found a number for him registered to her, I called it and another man picked up and rudely told me I had the wrong number. Five minutes later he emailed me after six months saying I wasn’t for him and that he had his reasons to stay away.

I couldn’t believe he was so harsh and cruel.

He made referenced emails I was sending him which puzzled me how he could read me in such a distressed state and not reply just to end things in a nice way if nothing else. Since then I have found out (from the police) he never had a parole release. He never needed the bail bond money. He is still living with his new girlfriend and their baby in the apartment that he said he gave up to come to the UK. He has no scar on his face and the whole thing was a lie.

I was beside myself when he didn’t reply so I set up a fake email with the name “Jasmin Jeffreys.” I emailed him asking if he was the ‘”Samuel” I used to know, I said I’d seen his baby registry and googled his email. He skirted the issue and said that he had looked me up on Google and thought everyone representing my name was beautiful and wanted to see me! He said he was driving through where I said I was from and was thinking about me, he asked me for pictures and referred me to two of his.

I was shocked beyond belief!

Someone emails asking about his baby and he hits on them, without even seeing them. It seems desperate and just wrong.

I have since filed a civil suit. I have more than enough evidence of a verbal contract and can show he misrepresented himself fraudulently. My attorney is trying to resolve this prior to litigation and I have also reported this to the police.


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This is my story and I would like to say a big thank you to Donna for all the support. I highly recommend speaking to her, for me it was more about talking to someone who understood as this is no normal breakup.
I have heard from my attorney who says he admits he owes me money and is planning to give me my first instalment as the thought of court action scares him it seems. She commented that it was unusual for someone to have no remorse at all and not to seem at all embarrassed. He’s only angry he has to pay me back.
It seems many fellow victims have been cleaned out of their savings too. The emails I had prove we had an oral contract, they also show he misrepresented himself. I wasn’t sure how I would prove this without a written contract but this alone was proof enough. I think it’s important not to throw good money after bad, but defiantly it’s worth looking through things and considering if you can get your money back.
Of course, it’s not only the money but the principle. It’s the only way I can get any closure right now.

Seeker of Truth

I am sorry to read about your heartbreaking experience. So many people here can tell of similar ones.
I think of you highly, standing up for yourself to get your money back. In my opinion, getting it will have an effect much bigger than just having it. It will help your self worth and prove to you that you’re not a pushover.
Well done. I wish you a complete and speedy recovery.


Thank you so much for your words of support, it really means a lot. I agree with you 100%, getting the money back will defiantly be a big step for me, I would rather see it go up in flames then let him keep it. Onwards and upwards…. Much love x

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