Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Constance21” about the man she dated — a gorgeous guy who led a double life.
I met my partner at age 31, just when I’d almost given upon finding true love. He checked all the boxes and then some.
I gloated with pride whenever people asked if he had any brothers or friends like him. Tall, 6-pack, former college athlete, millionaire parents, corporate finance executive, dressed like he stepped out from a page of GQ, quiet, no known vices, never been married and had no kids, and lastly had a soft spot for rescue dogs.
Too good to be true you say? Had I known then what I know now, I’d be $50,000 richer and wouldn’t have been robbed almost 7 years of my life.
Read more: What’s a sociopath?
He was a gorgeous guy who led a double life for 4 years, dating myself and another woman in the area, and his world came crashing down after I contacted the other woman, his parents and the other woman he was cheating on me with.
Found out he said I had a brain tumor, I had kidnapped our own dogs from daycare, that I refused to move out of our house and “left” all my things there and left town, my uncle “hacked” into his iPhone when I showed one of the women he was dating that I’d been his long time live in girlfriend with time-stamped text messages.
He said he had to hire an attorney to fight in court to try get our dogs back, all while telling me I was crazy and he worked too much to even consider dating anyone behind my back and if I didn’t drop the pressing questions it “wouldn’t end well for me.”
When I tell this sick story of deception, emotional abuse, substance abuse and depression; I hear over and over again “it’s like a movie.” But it wasn’t a movie it was my real life, and I cannot believe it myself. I was like a hamster in a wheel and couldn’t stop running but was getting nowhere all because of one sociopath I was in love with — a gorgeous guy who led a double life.
I know of other victims — One girlfriend he dated for 6 years in college and the other women he dated for 4 of the years he dated me. I also outed him cheating on his current girlfriend with me as there was a 6-month overlap of both of us.
She thanked me but decided to stay with him and she moved into our old house because she told me “it just feels so real and he says I’m different.”
Why Worrying Makes Matters Worse
Constance21, I shake my head at all the pain these evil sociopath create. I’m so sorry that you endured so much from this con game sociopath. sending you huge huge hugs. 💜💜💜
I think what most who never endured the hell of a sociopath dont get, is the daily mind games including gas lighting abuse, blame shift, smear campaign, triangulation etc that really breaks your spirt and you do start to believe you are losing your mind…these evil sociopath keep pushing your emotional buttons to push you over that ledge intentionally. They love this aspect of their mind screwing of their vicitms.
When you start really opening your mind up…and break down the mind door to realize that yes! your gut instinct is correct over his lying words and you take the blinders off and see his evil actions….that is a pivotal moment to realize you need to escape…and to piece the lyng dots together to expose the con man & to heal.
I’m proud of you!! You survived not only a nightmare but, also a sociopath! YOU ARE STRONGER THEN YOU REALIZE…you have taken back your POWER!! BRAVO!!
Bravo…for searching for answers…first with this other woman who moved into your life…but, also for finding your way to this incredible site to educate yourself & to heal. Your article post will help others to see that being the “next woman” is not all fun and games…and that the “ex girlfriend’ that warned you did you a huge favor by planting seeds in your mind….a seed that will help her escape the same hell that you escaped.
I two warned 5 women that I found that my ex husband had been in communications with when I finally packed my bags & escaped. Three of which WERE sleeping with my then husband…the other two I’m not sure if they were sleeping with him or not…but they were communicating with him.
Only one heed my warning and dumped him (smart girl!!) because she had no idea he was married….and the other two blamed me and belittled me…I stayed calm because I knew the truth…and knew that they would soon learn I was the honest one trying to save them from pain & regret. That’s all I could do for them. And you too with his current victim.
I’m glad you had the courage to write & share your heartache here on Lovefraud. I think it’s a powerful form of healing to get your story out…to help others. I’m proud of you.
I wish you all the best in your recovery & for your bright future. 💜☘️💜
take care,