I lived among sociopathic monsters all my life

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call, “Lanie19.”

They are all monsters. Try to put one in a box and you’ll find they are as individual as we humans.

It’s worth the effort to educate humans but don’t get so hung up on identifying them to know if the monster resembles a psycho, a sociopath, or a narcissist. What difference does it make if they kill you after they terrorize and torture you, if they beat you for years or if they lock you in an invisible cage and rip and tear and pick you apart discarding you like trash until their is nothing left of you? What difference does it make? Are we to be less guarded if an alligator is approaching us or a tiger?

The only way to kill them is to stop feeding them; they would become extinct. But how do you convince the caregivers of children that monsters live among us, when so many humans have not seen them without their disguise?

I find I’m not giving you what you requested.

I’m 60 years old and my life began in the arms of a monster, my Mom. I had a unique experience when I was 4 years old. The entire story is a chapter in itself, but only a few years ago, at age 90, she caught my attention, showing a deep disgust for me by the look on her face. She wanted me to once and for all remember a forgotten happening, which I believe was equally unique in her life.

Something I did when I was 4 years old angered so to her core, that in an instant her head became that of a monster. A head of a huge monster, like a devouring Dragon head, with eyes red and piercing. Its head rotated in a circular motion and locked eyes with mine and I was so scared, so afraid I jumped backwards with both feet. Not stepped back one foot and then the other. Both feet together, backwards.

The monster never made a move toward me, thank God. It then did a smooth and graceful reversal rotation and as it was squarely in place as when I first saw it. In an instant the monster was gone, and my Mom sat staring straight ahead, as she was when I angered her.

My first thought was awareness of how awful it was to be so afraid and helpless. My next thought was, “I just saw her monster.” It only took 4 years for my Mom to burn with the all consuming hate and disgust I saw in the monster’s eyes. That was the reason I jumped back in fear. I knew that monster raged with pure hate and disgust for me.

And there you have it. A few seconds of my 60 years. My Mom is alive, she’s 92 and sharp as ever. She has survived my gentle, wonderful Dad by 2 years. My Mom Mary, and one of my sisters, Janet, tortured and killed him at 90 years old. None of my other 6 siblings would help me save him. I told one brother Janet would kill him that day, she did. I told my bf that Janet would kill my sister Laura next and she did, six months later.

And as I sit typing this on my phone I’ve been interrupted repeatedly with texts and calls from my psycho x bf. Numerous long term psycho bfs and now I finally see I lived among monsters all my life. Some have gone and some remain, but each one tried to destroy me.

I got to stop here. Got a monster at my door. All my love to you humans, and God’s wrath on you monsters.

Your friend,
Lanie19