Last night Larry King Live of CNN hosted a discussion about whether criminals can be rehabilitated. I think it will be re-aired this weekend so try to watch. One of the guests drew a distinction between “learned” criminal behavior and psychopathy. She stated she believed that criminals who have learned to be that way can unlearn but psychopaths cannot be rehabilitated. I know many of you also hold this belief so I would like to tell you why I strongly disagree.
First I will tell you my position:
ALL criminality stems from an interaction between a person and a situation. A person is a product of his/her genetics and experiences. So in a sense what makes up personality (the “person”) is learned for everyone including the psychopathic. We are preprogrammed by our genetics to learn certain things better than others.
In terms of situational variables solid research has demonstrated that antisocial associates, poor work and educational performance, substance abuse, poor family ties and poor recreational achievement are all associated with criminality. These variables operate independently from personality variables and are important for even the most psychopathic individuals.
The more psychopathic a person is, the more deeply ingrained is the lifestyle of parasitism and predation BUT even those with lower levels of psychopathy can be very resistant to change and very dangerous to society. The definition of response to treatment depends on what you are looking for. If a person cheats 8 people a week, then goes into a program and cheats 1 person a week, that is a change. Everyone has a different definition of “rehabilitation”.
Coincidentally, I just read a great book, Persons in Context: Building a science of the individual. It is a tribute to Walter Mischel, Ph.D. one of the great thinkers of modern psychology. In his chapter “Intelligence as a Person-Situation Interaction”, Robert Sternberg lists five fallacies of thinking. He says, “There is another dimension to person-situation interaction: the extent to which particular situations elicit ‘stupid’ thinking in intelligent people.” All of his 5 fallacies occur in the context of perceived power or dominance. They are:
- The unrealistic optimism fallacy. This occurs when one believes that one is so smart and so powerful that it is pointless to worry about the outcome of what one does.
- The egocentrism fallacy. This occurs when one comes to think that one’s own interests are the only ones that are important.
- The Omniscience Fallacy. This occurs when people think they know more than they do.
- The Omnipotence Fallacy. This results from the power one wield or believes one wields.
- The invulnerability Fallacy. This derives for the illusion of complete protection.
Dr. Sternberg is one of many scientists who have discovered that the experience of power changes the mind/brain. Some people are more prone than others to these effects of power. Since psychopathic individuals seek out power constantly like a heroin addict seeking a fix, they are never free from all of the above fallacies of thinking. Life is a situation of constant power or perceived power.
In the absence of a loving nature all power pursuit becomes antisocial. Now power pursuit and attainment can also stomp out a person’s loving nature, if it was ever present in the first place.
To rehab the psychopathic we have to strip them of any power and teach them to love and care for others. To my knowledge there is no program that has yet succeeded in doing this even for those “sociopaths” who score at the lower end of the psychopathy scale.
Its extremely hard to deal with if these “toxic’ people happen to be your own adult children. But Im finally learning, no matter if the toxic person is your Mum, your Dad, your boyfriend, lover,
brother, sister, or child, if they are toxic they are pure poison to us, and they NEVER EVER change.Hell, they even fool therapists a nd pass lie detector tests.For years I was like,WHy are they like this? Why do they hate me? Why do they lie to me,/rip me off, use me/con me? Finally I GET that no, they never loved me. No they will never change,no. I can no longer see them.Even if this means losing my Grandkids,{they use their kids to torture us with}. Non negotiable. I WILL NOT be used abused conned lied to sneered at, belittled or stolen from EVER AGAIN. I cant make them love me, I cant buy their love or affection. I have to let them go, and its the FOREVER bit Im finding hard.Love, Mama Gem.XX
gem, you are in my thoughts and prayers,
I’m so sorry you have to go through this.
I am very glad that you have your husband and
“adopted” kids to help you and comfort you.
I pray that someday your grandkids come and
find you!!! That would be so wonderful!!!!!
Dear Sweet Gem,
Yea, it is hard to realize the FOREVER part is well,,,…for-ever. But You know, sometimes that’s just the way it is and there’s nothing we can do to change it, we just have to accept it is what it is.
Each time we have loss of a “relationship” or what WE though of as a relationship, it hurts because we realize we have been betrayed by someone we trusted.
When it is our kids….well, we had such high hopes for them, and for being friends with them when they grew up…didn’t happen.
Today I went to a friend’s house and left off some baby gifts. She is having her first baby at age 38 (with a little help from the doctors) and she is due in 2 weeks and she and her husband are thrilled, she is soooo happy. Smiling all over the place.
I am so happy for her and yet, who knows what the child will turn out to be, or what is in store for him. She and her parents are close, but her husband’s family were so dysfunctional that by age 12 he was raising himself working cattle at an auction barn. One of the local ranchers took him in and raised him, got him through high school, and got him set up in business, in which he is very successful. Great guy!
But THAT set of genes is out there in the back ground, and you know I think some of us have more of it and some have less, but you just never know what is going to pop up in a human mating. I think every kid is an “at risk” kid. We do the best we can with the kids, love them, teach them…..and then we have to let it go.
Gem your X husband I think was a psychopath, and your girls got the gene. Let’s say that for example he had a gene that they got and they were mentally retarded but neither of you knew it would be that way. Could you accept it? Well, they got genes that makes them MEAN AS A SNAKE. You are going to either accept it or keep on trying to teach the MORALLY RETARDED To love…it ain’t gonna happen any more than you trying to teach a blind, deaf, mute, mentally retarded child to read or sing opera. It just ain’t gonna happen no matter how hard you work, or how much you love. They can’t change. There might have been a time in their early development in infantancy that you could have done something that would have turned that gene off, but WHO KNOWS WHAT? OR IF?
It is done, there is nothing you can do NOW, except take care of you. Your daughters are just as “dead” as So quit going to their face book page, too, it is only pulling the scab off the wounds. I know you are curious about the children, but is that really helping you to see photos of them? ((((hugs))))) Love Oxy
Gem;
XXOO
EB
I know my X has a face book profile, I looked at it about a year ago. I am not tempted to look again, he has moved on so I must let it be. I need to go through a big box of pictures but I cant, not yet anyway. There is whole life’s worth of pictures I took of my mother but I cant look at her without feeling sick..There are pictures of my X – he looked so angry and evil , dark and mysterious, he looked so unhappy – hope he is happy these days…kinda doubt it tho..cause he didnt look happy in the pictures on his facebook profile..I would give anything if somebody wanted to take my picture – hell I would even smile..
Hens – mine had the dark preoccupied mysterious brooding look in every pic ever taken of him – all the way stretching back to teen years so obviously this was his cultivated persona. He was also always unhappy – well that’s how I perceived it anyway – it’s called FLAT AFFECT. They don’t get the normal RANGE of emotions that all other humans experience so naturally their faces only show the ones they’re familiar with …
those being irritation, anger, tension and boredom.
I’d take lots of pics of you if you were near me 🙂 Smiling, just sitting thinking, with your plants and your pets, the car, the house, pulling funny faces and dashing to avoid Oxy’s skillet – my that’d make a Kodak moment!
Hens….I’d love to take pictures of you…..
spath had that blank…ttoothy fake smile or a dumb blonde look on his face in every picture ever taken….28 years of nasty pics….and not many at that!
It was easy going through the pics, a good reminder f what a schmuck he is.
I got more pics of his balls hanging out of his robe (unknowingly) on christmas morning than any other pics of him total!
Hey…hows the pups nose?
LOL Erin – I’ve got a few dick shots on my cam – he had deforested himself ‘down there’ and was trying to get it on with me. I just laughed and whipped out the camera. I wish to God I had captured his stupid face on it too to link the dick with the dick!
Mine tried to look ‘intense’ in every pic ever taken of him … and he didn’t allow pics very often at all. Hated them for some reason. So there’s years of my life gone by with no pics at all because of that ass.
No Polly….just balls only……hangen low as he had on this gawd awful red robe that didnt quite close…..and as he sat in the recliner, legs open…….they appeared.
I never realized it until one christmas (prior to digi cameras) I picked up the photos and the shop lady pointed it out to me……we laughed histarically!!!!!!! (she knew the spath). I went home and looked up all the other christmas shots and sure enough……there they were, in all their glory….same ugly ass robe and all. Jingle Balls shot.
I’m out….gotta be primping for b-fast in 5 hours!
Night……