By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired)
The Italian cruise ship Costa Concordia wrecked a few days ago and early reports said that it had hit some rocks. Quickly though, reports came out that the captain, Francesco Schettino, had driven the ship closer than normal to those rocks on the way out of port in order to show off the ship to the residents. An article from the New York Times gives more details.
More bodies found on ship, as transcripts reveal rebuke to captain
Interviews from some of the over 4,020 passengers of the liner stated in news reports that it was “like the Titanic.”
Only shortly after the shipwreck it was determined that the captain had left the ship early on, and also that he had been seen drinking on the bridge with a young, attractive woman at the time of the crash, and that he had been drinking at dinner before the crash. This indicates to me that the man may have been drunk at the time he made the decision to go closer than was safe to the reef.
Rescue crews had reportedly told the captain to “go back to the ship” and at that time they were in command with the authority to demand that he return. He didn’t return and was subsequently branded a “coward,” as well as taken into custody by authorities for not doing his duty in the time of the wreck. I have a feeling this man’s professional life as a sailor is over, and that he will become an international pariah.
Videos taken showed the passengers lined up, going down the side of the overturned boat on one rope, like a line of ants going to a food source.
The captain finally came up with a story that he somehow believed would show that he was not at fault for leaving the ship early (excuse me if I laugh). He said he had “accidentally fallen into a lifeboat while trying to help rescue efforts.” This single statement, to me, branded the man a psychopath. Dr. Robert Hare said in his book, Without Conscience, that the psychopath’s brain doesn’t work like other brains when it comes to lies. They will tell a lie when there is evidence to show it is a lie right in front of them, they will tell a lie that is so unbelievable that no one would believe it, but they do not “get it” that their lie is totally unbelievable.
Of course a psychopath would also put his own well-being above those of his responsibility, such as the passengers, and would desert a sinking boat on the first available lifeboat. Capt. Schettino leaving first, by itself, would not brand someone a psychopath, when maybe they would only be a coward, or so terrorized that he became unglued and deserted the sinking ship. But being told to “get back on the ship!” and refusing to do so does seem to indicate that he was either totally unglued or had no concern for the passengers.
The other things that the captain did that were irresponsible, like drinking at dinner, and drinking at the time of the crash with the rocks, and steering the boat close to the rocks so that he could show off, all of those things might have just been a day of poor judgment, and would not necessarily make me brand someone with the term psychopath. But those things, in concert with the unbelievable lie, make me think that this man has not only no conscience, but that his brain is unable to distinguish a believable lie from one that is so unbelievable that only a psychopath would tell it.
I’m not sure that there is a lie that would be believable or that would not damn any captain who deserted his ship like Capt. Schettino did. However, a man who was not a psychopath, who had simply panicked and deserted his ship, who otherwise had a moral compass, would show some remorse for what he had done. He would at least show some shame at having failed in a pivotal moment in his life, in which he should have showed some courage and concern for the more than 4,000 lives in his charge.
I think that anyone can “fail” in a moment of horrible terror, in combat or accident. The overwhelming terror of something like a ship capsizing, the panic of the passengers, and possibly also the man being drunk, could account for him deserting the ship early and refusing to do his duty, or letting go of his responsibility. But the unbelievable lie is the one thing, that taken with all the others, that makes me think this man is truly a psychopath.
Here’s another article about the captain by a former commander of the U.S. Coast Guard on CNN.com:
Sorry, forgot to add this note too-
Because the captain abandoned ship before the passengers were off- he is automaticly facing 12 years in prison for this. Add in the rest of the charges and he will certainly be going away for a long time, if not for good.
Henry You say –Sky That is just one episode of to many to mention..
One would think I would be embarrassed to tell these things, I was so pathetic, wanting him to really love me.
I can relate to these statements. When I started telling people some of the things my spath did, I too found myself embarrassed, but it does 2 things. I think it kind of sets me free. It puts him…… OVER THERE, doing weird messed up things (behavior) and it exposes the the spath – which they can’t stand to be exposed. Their whole life is an image and a reputation. That’s why I always wanted to have people around me with him as he always treated me better. He was kind of a closet abuser, but the mask did slip a few times in public too.
BBE: Behavior, behavior, behavior. Think of it like real estate is location, location, location. Only spathy is behavior, behavior, behavior. Yes, it’s easy to get sucked in by the fraudulent sucking up/charm however my spath would get angry quite a bit. If anger didn’t work, then RAGE and rage is different from anger. What I learned about myself is that anger is uncomfortable and rage is scary. So it took me awhile to REALLY stand up for myself. Then when I really stood up he would institute the silent treatment.
The silent treatment is very powerful. Never again will I tolerate anyone who refuses to communicate with me openly and honestly. What I also learned is that I wanted his approval so very badly – but I finally came to realize that he will never “approve” affirm validate (love) me. He sabotaged so many opportunities that I finally just knew that I could *wait* forever and life would pass me by.
One more thing about anger and rage. Being mad about x,y, or z was always, Yes ALWAYS out of proportion to the problem. The punishment rarely fit “the crime.”
Oh one more thing:: about anger. They count on the goodness of others, cooperation, willingness to get along which is another reason anger and being a bully works for them. Most people don’t question or push back or ignore them.
My marriage got to a point (yes this is embarrassing to admit but may help others) where when he would rage or try to persuade or persist…. always had to have his way, I would say, “Are you mad because I won’t jump back in the box?”
I often felt boxed in. Another word for control, they are control freaks.
He was cheating on his wife, they found the Moldovan dancer’s lingerie and makeup case in his cabin. She confesses to “being in love”. total spath.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/italy/9057729/Costa-Concordia-clothing-and-lingerie-of-Moldovan-dancer-found-in-Captain-Schettinos-cabin.html
surprize surprize
NOT
Yea, I saw that Skylar, she was in LUVVVVVV with the creep, and his wife was going to bat for him, “he’s not a monster” LOL Yea, you know, I did not have to have a crystal ball to peg this one! LOL A guy who would tell a lie so thin that a 5 year old would not believe it! “I fell into a life boat by accident!” LOL ROTFLMAO
That line continues to create an audible laugh for me!
At this point his wife may be more conerned about the financial impact on her family……just my opinion.
When the sociopath is first unmasked, denial is a natural response for many in relationships with the sociopath, especially for those never having before encountered a sociopath.
In addition, many involved with sociopaths are disordered themselves. Borderline + Sociopath = match made in hell!
With these two women, perhaps a bit of each? The wife in denial plus a borderline girlfriend?
BBE is is VERY common for a psychopath to be hooked up with another personality disordered person…..and then the sparksfly and sometimes the explosion…I call it a “gasoline and fire” relationshit!!!! And the loser of the war or the battle then presents themselves as a VICTIM.
We have that kind of “victim” come here from time to time….they usually out themselves by becoming abusive toward other posters pretty quickly, but sometimes they hang around a while posting before they start being snarky or hateful to other posters and their true colors are shown and either they slither away or Donna has to bad them.
Yes, the GF was at least in the “love bombing” stage…”come away with me to a cruise, I’m the captain.”