By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired)
The Italian cruise ship Costa Concordia wrecked a few days ago and early reports said that it had hit some rocks. Quickly though, reports came out that the captain, Francesco Schettino, had driven the ship closer than normal to those rocks on the way out of port in order to show off the ship to the residents. An article from the New York Times gives more details.
More bodies found on ship, as transcripts reveal rebuke to captain
Interviews from some of the over 4,020 passengers of the liner stated in news reports that it was “like the Titanic.”
Only shortly after the shipwreck it was determined that the captain had left the ship early on, and also that he had been seen drinking on the bridge with a young, attractive woman at the time of the crash, and that he had been drinking at dinner before the crash. This indicates to me that the man may have been drunk at the time he made the decision to go closer than was safe to the reef.
Rescue crews had reportedly told the captain to “go back to the ship” and at that time they were in command with the authority to demand that he return. He didn’t return and was subsequently branded a “coward,” as well as taken into custody by authorities for not doing his duty in the time of the wreck. I have a feeling this man’s professional life as a sailor is over, and that he will become an international pariah.
Videos taken showed the passengers lined up, going down the side of the overturned boat on one rope, like a line of ants going to a food source.
The captain finally came up with a story that he somehow believed would show that he was not at fault for leaving the ship early (excuse me if I laugh). He said he had “accidentally fallen into a lifeboat while trying to help rescue efforts.” This single statement, to me, branded the man a psychopath. Dr. Robert Hare said in his book, Without Conscience, that the psychopath’s brain doesn’t work like other brains when it comes to lies. They will tell a lie when there is evidence to show it is a lie right in front of them, they will tell a lie that is so unbelievable that no one would believe it, but they do not “get it” that their lie is totally unbelievable.
Of course a psychopath would also put his own well-being above those of his responsibility, such as the passengers, and would desert a sinking boat on the first available lifeboat. Capt. Schettino leaving first, by itself, would not brand someone a psychopath, when maybe they would only be a coward, or so terrorized that he became unglued and deserted the sinking ship. But being told to “get back on the ship!” and refusing to do so does seem to indicate that he was either totally unglued or had no concern for the passengers.
The other things that the captain did that were irresponsible, like drinking at dinner, and drinking at the time of the crash with the rocks, and steering the boat close to the rocks so that he could show off, all of those things might have just been a day of poor judgment, and would not necessarily make me brand someone with the term psychopath. But those things, in concert with the unbelievable lie, make me think that this man has not only no conscience, but that his brain is unable to distinguish a believable lie from one that is so unbelievable that only a psychopath would tell it.
I’m not sure that there is a lie that would be believable or that would not damn any captain who deserted his ship like Capt. Schettino did. However, a man who was not a psychopath, who had simply panicked and deserted his ship, who otherwise had a moral compass, would show some remorse for what he had done. He would at least show some shame at having failed in a pivotal moment in his life, in which he should have showed some courage and concern for the more than 4,000 lives in his charge.
I think that anyone can “fail” in a moment of horrible terror, in combat or accident. The overwhelming terror of something like a ship capsizing, the panic of the passengers, and possibly also the man being drunk, could account for him deserting the ship early and refusing to do his duty, or letting go of his responsibility. But the unbelievable lie is the one thing, that taken with all the others, that makes me think this man is truly a psychopath.
Here’s another article about the captain by a former commander of the U.S. Coast Guard on CNN.com:
ah, ok. the line between believable and unbelievable is so fine. My ex had never had a dream in his life (a thought that still bothers me quite deeply) so…that many don’t have a body smell seemed in the realm of possibility.
My spath smelled GREAT when I met him but 25 years down the line, the stink was unbearable. That’s not just MY opinion either, the lady at the laundromat took his clothes out for him and commented that they STILL smelled bad. 😛
paralleogram..Seriously I dont remember the other bloggers that said their xspath had no smell but there were several. my X never dreamed or talked about dreaming and was anoyed when I talked about my dreams..He also looked like an alien when he slept, very unnatural like..he could go to sleep instantly and wake up like the energizer bunny..
Hhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FzM_XrgtPoi folks,
Ah, another Leonard Cohen song. I wish to dedicate to Travis. With love, Ana.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FzM_XrgtPo
🙂
Weird
I was thinking about this a couple of weeks ago.
Mine always had a sour smell from his skin even after a shower. I wondered if this was relevent.
Everytime he enters my mind I attach this to his memory. I just think-not only where his actions evil-but he smelled bad too.
Mine too said he didn’t dream-but as said before I think that he was secretive and was scared of letting too much out as I had a hobby analysing dreams.
Hens-the going to sleep instantly. I remember lying tossing and turning worrying about finances-He would just close his eyes and that was it-asleep. I used to wonder how he could do this as we were losing our home with three kids.
Another thing-I remember when the kids were young I would want to go out e.g for a drink-just to socialise. To get out of the house into adult company. He told me ‘If I don’t want go to out, why should you’. We lived like hermits.
On two ocassions I went out myself with friends-although he didn’t drink much he made sure he was drunk in charge of my kids when I came back. This stopped me effectively from ever going out.
I lived this way for years until I broke his spell and saw a counsellor who agreed with me that it was abnormal.
Now I am agorophobic and with a panic disorder and PTSD. Although he doesn’t know it, I can’t help but feel that he won. I WILL heal from this. It has become an imperative.
It just feels so good getting up on a Saturday morning without his presence.
STJ
xxx
I NC’d my sister 10 years ago because she was violent when she doesn’t get her own way–especially if she is drunk. I used to think it was sibling rivalry as she always appeared jealous of me even though I never encouraged this. She is always comparing herself to me on how we look and drags others into doing it too.
I think she has HPD. Because I am in contact with my mum now and spend Friday night with her for dinner-sometimes I bump into her.
Because I am no longer emotionally attached to her I can’t help observing her behaviour to see if it fits my layman’s diagnoses.
Craving for attention: She must have looked in my mum’s mirror at least 20 times in the hour she was there. Whilst looking in the mirror she constantly puts herself down which invites comment. All conversation revolves around her. She is a very fast speaker and you can’t help but respond when she talks.
MY brother’s girfriend was in and I was conversing with her. Out of the corner of my eye I all of a sudden could see my sister turning to observe me-like she was studying how I spoke. She then rearanged herself so that she was sitting and looking exactly like me. It was almost like she was figuring out another way to act to keep the attention on herself and away from me.
Believes intimate relationships to be closer than they are: She meets someone in a bar for one night-talks to them and then tells us that she met her soulmate.
Shallow display of emotions: She can cry and laugh within a minute of each other.
She is 49 and I find it so facinating watching this.
Before this would have floored me–but I get so amazed that I am the only one who can see this and that everyone else accepts her behaviour as normaland that she just has alcahol problems.
Manipulation is second nature to her and she uses the pity ploy often.
STJ
xxx
Sharing the journey,
You are learning to OBSERVE THE RED FLAGS….her behavior is very PERSONALITY DISORDERED and you are seeing that now. It may be Borderline PD or Histrionic PD or PPD but you get the POINT that it is personality disorder….not normal.
That is the thing we must educate ourselves and others if we can to observe these RED FLAGS and ANY red flag is good enough to NOT TRUST this person…..put the GALE WARNING out and watch them closely.
GOOD JOB!!!!!
Thanks Oxy
I don’t know whether to be pleased at this total detachment that I feel when regarding her-after all she is my sister.
I just feel nothing for her now-but at one time I did care very deeply for her.
Also her lack of empathy. She looks genuinley bewildered when the converstaton turns to a subject that requires and empathic response. She then dismisses the subject impatiently.
STJ
xxx
STJ,
Blood relationships do not obligate us to have a relationship with someone who is TOXIC….though some people seem to think that we are obligated to take their shiat because we are blood kin. NOOOO, that is not the case.
There is no reason on earth that we must allow ourselves to be abused by anyone.