By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired)
The Italian cruise ship Costa Concordia wrecked a few days ago and early reports said that it had hit some rocks. Quickly though, reports came out that the captain, Francesco Schettino, had driven the ship closer than normal to those rocks on the way out of port in order to show off the ship to the residents. An article from the New York Times gives more details.
More bodies found on ship, as transcripts reveal rebuke to captain
Interviews from some of the over 4,020 passengers of the liner stated in news reports that it was “like the Titanic.”
Only shortly after the shipwreck it was determined that the captain had left the ship early on, and also that he had been seen drinking on the bridge with a young, attractive woman at the time of the crash, and that he had been drinking at dinner before the crash. This indicates to me that the man may have been drunk at the time he made the decision to go closer than was safe to the reef.
Rescue crews had reportedly told the captain to “go back to the ship” and at that time they were in command with the authority to demand that he return. He didn’t return and was subsequently branded a “coward,” as well as taken into custody by authorities for not doing his duty in the time of the wreck. I have a feeling this man’s professional life as a sailor is over, and that he will become an international pariah.
Videos taken showed the passengers lined up, going down the side of the overturned boat on one rope, like a line of ants going to a food source.
The captain finally came up with a story that he somehow believed would show that he was not at fault for leaving the ship early (excuse me if I laugh). He said he had “accidentally fallen into a lifeboat while trying to help rescue efforts.” This single statement, to me, branded the man a psychopath. Dr. Robert Hare said in his book, Without Conscience, that the psychopath’s brain doesn’t work like other brains when it comes to lies. They will tell a lie when there is evidence to show it is a lie right in front of them, they will tell a lie that is so unbelievable that no one would believe it, but they do not “get it” that their lie is totally unbelievable.
Of course a psychopath would also put his own well-being above those of his responsibility, such as the passengers, and would desert a sinking boat on the first available lifeboat. Capt. Schettino leaving first, by itself, would not brand someone a psychopath, when maybe they would only be a coward, or so terrorized that he became unglued and deserted the sinking ship. But being told to “get back on the ship!” and refusing to do so does seem to indicate that he was either totally unglued or had no concern for the passengers.
The other things that the captain did that were irresponsible, like drinking at dinner, and drinking at the time of the crash with the rocks, and steering the boat close to the rocks so that he could show off, all of those things might have just been a day of poor judgment, and would not necessarily make me brand someone with the term psychopath. But those things, in concert with the unbelievable lie, make me think that this man has not only no conscience, but that his brain is unable to distinguish a believable lie from one that is so unbelievable that only a psychopath would tell it.
I’m not sure that there is a lie that would be believable or that would not damn any captain who deserted his ship like Capt. Schettino did. However, a man who was not a psychopath, who had simply panicked and deserted his ship, who otherwise had a moral compass, would show some remorse for what he had done. He would at least show some shame at having failed in a pivotal moment in his life, in which he should have showed some courage and concern for the more than 4,000 lives in his charge.
I think that anyone can “fail” in a moment of horrible terror, in combat or accident. The overwhelming terror of something like a ship capsizing, the panic of the passengers, and possibly also the man being drunk, could account for him deserting the ship early and refusing to do his duty, or letting go of his responsibility. But the unbelievable lie is the one thing, that taken with all the others, that makes me think this man is truly a psychopath.
Here’s another article about the captain by a former commander of the U.S. Coast Guard on CNN.com:
Sharing the Journey,
In regards to the spaths sleeping habits, my ex could also go to sleep soundly when we had worries. He knew that I cried myself to sleep (when he was gaslighting) and still he would sleep soundly. He had no anxiety about anything.
His smell was off too, kind of sour. It’s hard to describe. I have a boyfriend now and I like his smell so much better. He doesn’t smell sour but he smells comforting. If that makes any sense.
Also, the ex spath couldn’t stand if I wore perfume. I get complimented on my perfume (it’s subtle, not overwhelming), but when I spritzed it on the spath would wave his arms around and cough like it was soooo offensive. I stopped wearing perfume around him.
My boyfriend now loves the way I smell, he said it wouldn’t matter what perfume I was wearing.
I think you are on to something regarding smell. It was an odd experience.
Hens, my ex also didn’t dream and would become irrate if I discussed my dreams. Perhaps non-spath’s remember dreams because of the emotion attached to them and spaths are lacking that?
Regarding smell, mine was of the odorless variety but now that the mask is completely removed everything about him stinks.
You know, I think the COMPANY that hired that yo-yo coward captain doesn’t “get it” either, look at this article about what they are offering the survivors! LOL
http://www.foxnews.com/world/2012/01/23/companys-offer-discount-trips-for-italian-cruise-disaster-survivors-called/?intcmp=obnetwork
Hopeforjoy,
totally identify with the ex hating my perfume. Mind you, he always complained about anything cosmetic. Hated make up, any attempt to make myself look nice was met with some derisory comment. He was incredibly jealous and insecure.
New,
My ex was similar. Could fall asleep stood at the bus stop he could despite protestations of “I’m stressed”
I had a look on the net earlier. The part of the brain that controls dreaming is the same part as controls emotions. The amygdala I think. Anyway, he never dreamt either but said it was due to smoking weed.
It’s certainly interesting that people here have experienced the same.
Happy weekend everyone. 😆
Oxy,
That is a right slap in the face isn’t it!! Here’s your compensation…..a discount off your next cruise with us.
Yeh I’d love to. Not. They’re going to have to do some serious PR to get ANY new cruisers never mind the poor souls who have been traumatised by their “holiday of a lifetime” experience.
Beggars belief
That’s it settled then–no emotions=no dreaming=spath.
I know what question I will be asking anyone I want to Know more about. What was your last dream about?
Interrrresting!!!
STJ
xxx
Interesting discussions- but i think captain costa was a narc. All about image. Also think the boundaries between n and sp are blurred at the crossover point. In my experience- father, employer, lover……. they are all pisces! N’s are all about themselves….. and sp’s all about what they can get if they lie!
About the “dreaming”—not everyone can RECALL dreams, but it has been proven that in order to get any rest from sleep we have to dream some and if anyone is hooked up to electrodes during the night it will be seen what stages of sleep they are in…doesn’t mean that they will RECALL the REM/dream state though.
As we age we sleep less deeply and wake into the “nearly awake” stages more often….also if someone has sleep apnea or restless legs they will awake more often or nearly so…so that they are not actually getting “restful” sleep….drugs, including alcohol will also effect how must rest or even dreams that are experienced and/or recalled.
So, just because someone doesn’t recall their dreams doesn’t mean they are a psychopath.
Sharing,
I also think they dream. Mine talked in his sleep so that means he was dreaming right? But he never told me about his dreams except for that one time – and it was a lie.
It is a fact that if we don’t go into REM sleep and dream, we will “go insane”. What that means is that you start hallucinating because the dream stage starts to happen while you are awake, so you “see” things that aren’t there. All it takes is one night of sleep to go back to normal.
It seems to me that if spaths didn’t dream, SOMEBODY would have noticed that there are many, many, many people who don’t dream – because there are many spaths out there.
The part about falling asleep quickly and anywhere – YES!
EVERY spath I know can nod off in his chair, on the bus, at their in-law’s house, anywhere. They are just like babies, they’ll sleep through any commotion. That’s because THEY ARE BABIES.
You may jest, sharing the journey, but I DO ask that question to people I meet ! (I mean people who may want to get to know me better, or whom I may want to know better)
I agree with the distinction that everybody dreams but not everybody recalls their dreams. And I agree that not all persons who don’t dream are ‘paths. But it’s still a dealbreaker for me.
Dream are a reflection of the health and state of your psyche and even your body. I find them interesting, beautiful. I’ve heard dreams called “messages from home” and that is why my skin prickles when someone tells me they don’t dream. That this lack implies that they have no home inside themselves, no deep center, no ability or interest in allowing their soul to converse with their mind. Maybe they do dream but just toss their dreams on the floor the minute they wake-up because of their discomfort and inability to understand the abstract or symbolic. Maybe they do dream but are secretive about them because to tell them might reveal something about themselves, something they work their asses off for a long time in order for us not to see and know. Maybe they do dream but can’t even admit their dreams to themselves. Maybe they do dream but just can’t be bothered to acknowledge or figure out what their dreams mean because that requires “effort.” Sometimes our dreams make us face hard and unflattering truths in our lives that, once conscious, demand reparation and change. This is v. hard to do and could be why ‘paths don`t do it. Bottom line, I’d just prefer to be around people who recall and share their dreams at this point in my life.
Jerks who sleep when they should be tossing and turning for the rest of their lives. How much does it suck that we all know what it’s like to cry in bed while the ‘path sleeps soundly beside us.