By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired)
The Italian cruise ship Costa Concordia wrecked a few days ago and early reports said that it had hit some rocks. Quickly though, reports came out that the captain, Francesco Schettino, had driven the ship closer than normal to those rocks on the way out of port in order to show off the ship to the residents. An article from the New York Times gives more details.
More bodies found on ship, as transcripts reveal rebuke to captain
Interviews from some of the over 4,020 passengers of the liner stated in news reports that it was “like the Titanic.”
Only shortly after the shipwreck it was determined that the captain had left the ship early on, and also that he had been seen drinking on the bridge with a young, attractive woman at the time of the crash, and that he had been drinking at dinner before the crash. This indicates to me that the man may have been drunk at the time he made the decision to go closer than was safe to the reef.
Rescue crews had reportedly told the captain to “go back to the ship” and at that time they were in command with the authority to demand that he return. He didn’t return and was subsequently branded a “coward,” as well as taken into custody by authorities for not doing his duty in the time of the wreck. I have a feeling this man’s professional life as a sailor is over, and that he will become an international pariah.
Videos taken showed the passengers lined up, going down the side of the overturned boat on one rope, like a line of ants going to a food source.
The captain finally came up with a story that he somehow believed would show that he was not at fault for leaving the ship early (excuse me if I laugh). He said he had “accidentally fallen into a lifeboat while trying to help rescue efforts.” This single statement, to me, branded the man a psychopath. Dr. Robert Hare said in his book, Without Conscience, that the psychopath’s brain doesn’t work like other brains when it comes to lies. They will tell a lie when there is evidence to show it is a lie right in front of them, they will tell a lie that is so unbelievable that no one would believe it, but they do not “get it” that their lie is totally unbelievable.
Of course a psychopath would also put his own well-being above those of his responsibility, such as the passengers, and would desert a sinking boat on the first available lifeboat. Capt. Schettino leaving first, by itself, would not brand someone a psychopath, when maybe they would only be a coward, or so terrorized that he became unglued and deserted the sinking ship. But being told to “get back on the ship!” and refusing to do so does seem to indicate that he was either totally unglued or had no concern for the passengers.
The other things that the captain did that were irresponsible, like drinking at dinner, and drinking at the time of the crash with the rocks, and steering the boat close to the rocks so that he could show off, all of those things might have just been a day of poor judgment, and would not necessarily make me brand someone with the term psychopath. But those things, in concert with the unbelievable lie, make me think that this man has not only no conscience, but that his brain is unable to distinguish a believable lie from one that is so unbelievable that only a psychopath would tell it.
I’m not sure that there is a lie that would be believable or that would not damn any captain who deserted his ship like Capt. Schettino did. However, a man who was not a psychopath, who had simply panicked and deserted his ship, who otherwise had a moral compass, would show some remorse for what he had done. He would at least show some shame at having failed in a pivotal moment in his life, in which he should have showed some courage and concern for the more than 4,000 lives in his charge.
I think that anyone can “fail” in a moment of horrible terror, in combat or accident. The overwhelming terror of something like a ship capsizing, the panic of the passengers, and possibly also the man being drunk, could account for him deserting the ship early and refusing to do his duty, or letting go of his responsibility. But the unbelievable lie is the one thing, that taken with all the others, that makes me think this man is truly a psychopath.
Here’s another article about the captain by a former commander of the U.S. Coast Guard on CNN.com:
Skylar
And it is so full of truth. He totally stripped me of my innocence. I think that is what he hated about me.
Thanks again Darwinsmom.
Stay safe
STJ
xxx
My spath stunk too. When I was dating him he kept himself clean but after we married he showered when he felt like it. Every time he showered and changed into clean clothes I knew he was going out to meet a new victim.
And yes, he never worried or had any cares in the world. When he was gaslighting me or being evil he would be totally calm.
I was the mental wreck. When he started dating the rich girl and was planning leaving me (unbeknownst to me at the time) I was a mental wreck.
Not sleeping or eating. I lost tons of weight from the stress. He would eat and sleep with a big smirk on his face. He glorified in my suffering. I was thinking about it today. When I went into a normal relationship with my husband I was like ” WTF did I put up with that asshole for so long and take the abuse.?”
“What kind of hold did he have over me?” What a difference between being with a normal man and a spath jerk. I would never take that kind of abuse again. I was a young girl and didn’t know I was with a sociopath. I thought all men played head games. I thought there must be something wrong with me for him to treat me this way.
I hope I never run into him. When he left I told him I never wanted to see him again and I never have. But if I should ever have the unfortunate luck to see him again I’ll tell him, he’s a filthy, dirty, sociopath pig loser!
Joanie, that might be a red flag: only showers before meeting victims.
LOL! I’m serious though. My spath showered twice a day sometimes. He emphasized how he liked to shower in the morning and again in the evening. He was trying to convince me of how clean he was. But that was only in the beginning. After a couple of years, he showered about once a week, I think. And yes, that’s exactly right, only when he was looking for victims. It wasn’t about being clean, it was about presentation.
Skylar and Joanie,
The spath I knew was obsessed with clean. I mean her apt. not herself. She also would come home from a day of massaging and douse her hands in alcohol until they cracked and bled ugh.
Now, knowing her history I’m a wonderin’ WHAT she was doing with those hands. double ugh.
Darwinsmom,
I just wanted to comment to you that my spath didn’t just fall asleep anywhere that he needed to. He fell asleep at inappropriate places, like when we were visiting my parents and he hadn’t know them for very long. He sat on the couch and fell asleep while everyone else was socializing in the next room. And I have a LOUD family of narcissists.
Someone took a picture of it. My parents pointed out that it was rude. I think he must’ve been really bored. Spaths hate to be bored. Or maybe it was the competition, spaths like to be the center of attention. That’s difficult in a room full of narcissists.
Ana,
Ewwww… icky. I hope she cleaned under her fingernails…
Dreams! Too funny! I’ve known my spath for 4 years – he texted me a few days ago about a “dream” he had – it was totally fabrication – he said he had this dream about us being together somewhere – the real dream is that he dreamed about killing me or being with somebody else, because it’s always a lie, right?
Just the more and more I learn about people who lie and manipulate others and have no remorse – the more I see them in politics and the news and in corporate america – I realize how blind I was before.
THEY ARE EVERYWHERE.
Athena
Yup! They are everywhere, Athena. At least, now we know.