Sociopaths, as a group, tend to be predatory personalities. But does the converse always hold? Are predatory personalities, by definition, sociopaths?
Is it possible to prey on innocent people, and victimize them, yet not be a sociopath?
I think the answer to this question is yes…it is possible to be a predator and not a sociopath, although let me state as strongly as possible that, sociopath or not, the predator’s exploitation is no less damaging.
How one defines the predatory personality makes a difference. For purposes of this discussion, here’s how I’m going to define it: The predatory personality recognizes (if not actively seeks) opportunities for personal gratification, and seizes those opportunities knowing full well that, in doing so, he or she will cause someone else to feel victimized.
This must be a pattern of behavior to constitute predation.
While hardly comprehensive, this will be my working definition.
Predatory behavior can be driven by compulsion, but not all predatory behavior is compulsively driven. When it’s not, as a matter of fact, I think that sociopathy is a virtual given.
Compulsion can be a driving feature of predatory behavior. And many of us can attest personally to the power of compulsion. Compulsion is, by definition, an incredibly hard force to resist. When we feel compelled to do something, even knowing it’s an unwise thing to do, we often do it anyway…and sometimes again and again. Resistance to the compulsive urge proves enormously difficult.
We also know that sometimes, what “compels” us, at the same time violates our general standards and personal values (causing most of us, in these cases, internal disturbance).
This makes compulsion a quite fascinating experience, among other reasons for its seeming power to drive us to actions or thoughts that sometimes fly in the face of our self-respect, and sometimes respect for others.
Of course, not everyone who feels compulsively driven to perform self-violating or violating behaviors even has an underlying value system to be contravened. In these cases, I’d again suggest that sociopathy is likely to apply.
But things grow murkier in cases of individuals who, otherwise seeming to possess and adhere to reasonable moral standards, find themselves “compelled” to actions that profoundly transgress their standards—actions, especially, that leave a wake of victims in their trail.
Theoretically these may be cases where the urge to perpetrate the behavior—the compulsion itself—is so powerful that it’s as if it overrides and corrupts the standards the individual normally applies, and from which he or she draws his or her self-esteem.
In such cases, shame, self-contempt, guilt, and conscious or unconscious acts of penance can follow.
In August an interesting story broke in The New York Times headlined “Star Pediatrician Fights Accusations of Sex Abuse.” It concerned a pediatrician, researcher and writer, Melvin Levine, MD, who is recognized for his work on children’s learning styles and differences. Levine has written several popular psychology/education books on children, and his innovative research has been embraced by school districts across the country.
The front-page story (Aug. 6) reports that multiple former patients, either directly or else through their families—victims who could not possibly have known each other—alleged that, over a period of decades, Levine sexually molested them in the course of physical examinations he conducted with them alone.
Some of the accusations surfaced while Levine was still practicing, others later. None of the accusations, it turns out, was rigorously investigated, as a result of which Levine was never made professionally accountable at any point.
Levine has denied the allegations despite the fact that the complaints were spread across different states, over long stretches of time, contained virtually identical descriptions of his sexual abusiveness and, as noted, were made by disparate, disconnected patients. Thus, the probability of some sort of conspiracy to undermine him begs credulity.
Who, then, is Melvin Levine, MD, assuming the allegations are true and that, over a period of decades—as he was simultaneously contributing undeniably meaningful work to the better understanding and academic growth of children—he was also selecting some of them to sexually molest?
Is he, by definition, a sociopath? Certainly, if the accusations are true, he meets the criteria of a predator. But does this necessarily make him a sociopath?
I could be wrong, yet I can imagine that Melvin Levine falls into that category of individuals who find themselves in the throes of a compulsion that insists as if tyrannically on its expression. I can imagine that Melvin Levine has secretly despised himself from his first, and every subsequent, capitulation to his compulsion.
I can imagine that Melvin Levine has been filled, over the years, with a private self-mortification, believing himself to be incorrigibly corrupted and beyond help or forgiveness. And I can imagine that his good works—his career that, so oddly, has been devoted to the same children he’s abused—derived and evolved from a genuine need to contribute his talents to society in a meaningful way.
I can imagine that Dr. Levine has been living for decades in awful confusion, trying to reconcile his good, perhaps even admirable values,with behavior that’s made a shameful mockery of those values.
Of course, it’s possible that Melvin Levine is a sociopath, and that I’m giving him way too much credit. But I entertain the possibility that he isn’t; that instead, from the first time he indulged his compulsion, he began digging himself as if into a psychic hole of shame and self-corruption so deep and inescapable that, at some point, his survival came to depend on denial and lies and, of course, his capacity to compartmentalize.
Skepticism here is valid. Where do you draw the line? How about serial rapists? Or serial killers? After all, isn’t a monster a monster, regardless of the role compulsion plays in his or her deviance? Who cares what the diagnosis is, one can rightfully object! It’s the behavior that marks the man (or woman)!
I’ve merely scratched the surface of this discussion, and intend to continue it in a future post.
(This article is copyrighted (c) 2009 by Steve Becker, LCSW.)
passer-by, I’m going to try to say this as kindly as possible. The issues you’re apparently struggling with seem to be based on the failure of your marriage and the questions it raised about what women want and how you failed.
This is understandable, but the threads of study and the conclusions you’re playing with are not helpful here. You may see some similarity to what we’re working with, and I can see that similarity too. But ultimately, our work comes down to developing personal authority in our own lives.
People do give up their power for various reasons. You can certainly find lots of material in books and blogs for these insights you’re pursuing. But the people here are largely interested in recovering their own power and working on the reasons that they ever gave it away.
If you want to work on learning how to love yourself, care for yourself in healthy ways, or develop your capacity for good relationships that are honest, open and mutually respectful, you may find some value here. For a start, it’s a good idea to read the articles in the archives to understand what we’re working with and how we’re approaching it.
If this doesn’t interest you, you’re basically hijacking the thread. And you cannot be helpful to us or we to you.
Passer-by,
I too am going to try to say this as kindly as possible. Seek and you shall find a new therapist…interview them, print out your posts here, let them read them…find someone you feel comfortable with expressing your soul (including your confused soul)…sex therapists will answer your questions and help you with your confusion about life and love… there is SO much more to life than what you are fixated on and pondering and maybe even obsessed with. The best thing you can do for yourself no matter what your “diagnosis” is….is to want to get to a better place for yourself and with others in society.
You should not project onto others and most importantly you should not judge others. Work on yourself and becoming a better person…stop looking at others and analyzing them and look within… start with the one and only person you can change and grow and become consciously aware that life is a learning process…about yourself and others WAY beyond sexuality. However if you are confused and your life growth is being affected over such issues there are professionals to help you. Find the one that you begin to relate to and see positive growing changes within yourself… not spend two years getting nowhere. You should be able to express yourself and TRUST your therapist enough to say anything you wish to work on and learn. I suggest you start interviewing today.
Thanks Kathleen Hawks for your post. This site carry a theme and consistently discuss views and topics and tries to understand that theme without undue injustice and bias views. Our theme helps one and/or many to understand and accept what we have witness and experienced with our ex’s children parents caretakers employers and co-workers. This same theme helps us to learn and then heal over time. Members here who understand this theme comes to us with help for others with compassion empathy and open hearts. Which allows others to help them in return. To deviate away from this theme would be an injustice to this site something I for one don’t want.
learnthelesson,
How true! Many of our get a hiccup at times in life. It never hurt to seek out others to assist and help us overcome this hiccup and then allow that person to learn more about oneself which allows healing and empowerment of one’s self.
Sorry I am a little rushed today: 🙂
Update should be:
“Many of us get a hiccup at times in life. It never hurts to seek out “professional” help to assist us and help us to overcome this hiccup.”
Thank you for being polite.
May I ask your personal opinion if there are healthy ways or good reasons to give up one’s personal power over basic circumstances of one’s own existence in the course of ordinary life? I don’t mean power over others, I mean power over oneself.
There are many articles in archives. Which ones should I start from?
I don’t have a diagnosis known to me.
People judge others in most cases in everyday life in order to accept or reject. That’s my experience.
How is it possible to learn something true about anything or anyone, for example about others, without analyzing them?
And I know that it goes way beyond sexuality. Sometimes I want to be asexual being so I don’t have to struggle with it anymore.
What is better person? What does it mean to be a good person? That is the question that ultimately is behind my previous posting.
“May I ask your personal opinion”
No you may not…
Research is personal and something we all need to do on our own. Goodbye…
Passer-by,
I think you should interview professional therapists and allow yourself a safe and trusting place to express yourself… Especially if you have been in therapy and dont have any kind of diagnosis known to you….
Just because some people judge others doesnt mean you need to jump on that band wagon. You can make it a personal goal NOT to judge others if you so choose. I personally accept or reject based on treatment of respect and positivity and honesty and personal choices. I dont judge or try to get into others minds or beliefs or practices, I accept or reject based on respectfulness as well as other traits I am compatible with….
It is possbile to learn through experience and personal growth and introspection. First work on yourself, trust yourself, love yourself, know yourself and select your friends and circles based upon being treated with respect and letting people earn your trust and respect based upon their desire to want to…
Sexual therapists may be able to assist you with no longer struggling with so much…if you feel better expressing in writing…do so upon your interview with them…tell them it was suggested you print out your posts here and let them read them and see who is willing to assist you in your life journey.. for answers and growth..
A better person is one who no longer wants to struggle, who wants to find peace within and feels balanced and healthy and more positive in life. A good person means feeling good about yourself, loving yourself, trusting yourself so much so that you allow others to live their own life and fulfill yours with like-minded respectful honest loving people.
passer-by, start anywhere. That’s what everyone else here did.
I don’t think you’re grasping the feedback your getting here. Your issues, what you want to talk about, are not the same as what we’re doing. If you really want to participate, put the time in to understanding what’s going on here.
If you don’t want to do that, read the home page and Donna’s statement there. If you feel you are the victim of a relationship with a sociopath and you’re trying to get over it, that is what we are sharing here and how we’re supporting each other.
That’s it.
Potted plant, potted plant, potted plant. Hey Oxy, that is a pun too! I never realized that until now!
Steve, I think you have written before that the distinguishing trait of a sociopath is a willingness to exploit. I hope I have the wording right. Is what you are suggesting is that some exploitation occurs without willingness and instead with regret? Even if done over time?