Sociopaths, as a group, tend to be predatory personalities. But does the converse always hold? Are predatory personalities, by definition, sociopaths?
Is it possible to prey on innocent people, and victimize them, yet not be a sociopath?
I think the answer to this question is yes…it is possible to be a predator and not a sociopath, although let me state as strongly as possible that, sociopath or not, the predator’s exploitation is no less damaging.
How one defines the predatory personality makes a difference. For purposes of this discussion, here’s how I’m going to define it: The predatory personality recognizes (if not actively seeks) opportunities for personal gratification, and seizes those opportunities knowing full well that, in doing so, he or she will cause someone else to feel victimized.
This must be a pattern of behavior to constitute predation.
While hardly comprehensive, this will be my working definition.
Predatory behavior can be driven by compulsion, but not all predatory behavior is compulsively driven. When it’s not, as a matter of fact, I think that sociopathy is a virtual given.
Compulsion can be a driving feature of predatory behavior. And many of us can attest personally to the power of compulsion. Compulsion is, by definition, an incredibly hard force to resist. When we feel compelled to do something, even knowing it’s an unwise thing to do, we often do it anyway…and sometimes again and again. Resistance to the compulsive urge proves enormously difficult.
We also know that sometimes, what “compels” us, at the same time violates our general standards and personal values (causing most of us, in these cases, internal disturbance).
This makes compulsion a quite fascinating experience, among other reasons for its seeming power to drive us to actions or thoughts that sometimes fly in the face of our self-respect, and sometimes respect for others.
Of course, not everyone who feels compulsively driven to perform self-violating or violating behaviors even has an underlying value system to be contravened. In these cases, I’d again suggest that sociopathy is likely to apply.
But things grow murkier in cases of individuals who, otherwise seeming to possess and adhere to reasonable moral standards, find themselves “compelled” to actions that profoundly transgress their standards—actions, especially, that leave a wake of victims in their trail.
Theoretically these may be cases where the urge to perpetrate the behavior—the compulsion itself—is so powerful that it’s as if it overrides and corrupts the standards the individual normally applies, and from which he or she draws his or her self-esteem.
In such cases, shame, self-contempt, guilt, and conscious or unconscious acts of penance can follow.
In August an interesting story broke in The New York Times headlined “Star Pediatrician Fights Accusations of Sex Abuse.” It concerned a pediatrician, researcher and writer, Melvin Levine, MD, who is recognized for his work on children’s learning styles and differences. Levine has written several popular psychology/education books on children, and his innovative research has been embraced by school districts across the country.
The front-page story (Aug. 6) reports that multiple former patients, either directly or else through their families—victims who could not possibly have known each other—alleged that, over a period of decades, Levine sexually molested them in the course of physical examinations he conducted with them alone.
Some of the accusations surfaced while Levine was still practicing, others later. None of the accusations, it turns out, was rigorously investigated, as a result of which Levine was never made professionally accountable at any point.
Levine has denied the allegations despite the fact that the complaints were spread across different states, over long stretches of time, contained virtually identical descriptions of his sexual abusiveness and, as noted, were made by disparate, disconnected patients. Thus, the probability of some sort of conspiracy to undermine him begs credulity.
Who, then, is Melvin Levine, MD, assuming the allegations are true and that, over a period of decades—as he was simultaneously contributing undeniably meaningful work to the better understanding and academic growth of children—he was also selecting some of them to sexually molest?
Is he, by definition, a sociopath? Certainly, if the accusations are true, he meets the criteria of a predator. But does this necessarily make him a sociopath?
I could be wrong, yet I can imagine that Melvin Levine falls into that category of individuals who find themselves in the throes of a compulsion that insists as if tyrannically on its expression. I can imagine that Melvin Levine has secretly despised himself from his first, and every subsequent, capitulation to his compulsion.
I can imagine that Melvin Levine has been filled, over the years, with a private self-mortification, believing himself to be incorrigibly corrupted and beyond help or forgiveness. And I can imagine that his good works—his career that, so oddly, has been devoted to the same children he’s abused—derived and evolved from a genuine need to contribute his talents to society in a meaningful way.
I can imagine that Dr. Levine has been living for decades in awful confusion, trying to reconcile his good, perhaps even admirable values,with behavior that’s made a shameful mockery of those values.
Of course, it’s possible that Melvin Levine is a sociopath, and that I’m giving him way too much credit. But I entertain the possibility that he isn’t; that instead, from the first time he indulged his compulsion, he began digging himself as if into a psychic hole of shame and self-corruption so deep and inescapable that, at some point, his survival came to depend on denial and lies and, of course, his capacity to compartmentalize.
Skepticism here is valid. Where do you draw the line? How about serial rapists? Or serial killers? After all, isn’t a monster a monster, regardless of the role compulsion plays in his or her deviance? Who cares what the diagnosis is, one can rightfully object! It’s the behavior that marks the man (or woman)!
I’ve merely scratched the surface of this discussion, and intend to continue it in a future post.
(This article is copyrighted (c) 2009 by Steve Becker, LCSW.)
Done:
Well, it would take a helluva lot more for me for me to take offense than that! lol!
Libelle: But you were right, he IS the one who said my painting can’t go in the top of the Gothic window for the exhibition!! YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!! AND THAT IS SOO FUNNY because I totally forgot all about it!! So he probably is a P!
( Of course he IS otherwise I wouldn’t be attrated to him!! )
Anyway, thankyou guys for your knowledge and love. Oxy, I love what you said about crushes. I have a crush on Matt (because he is unavailable to me on all levels !) and Jimin Indy because he was the first one I met on LF!
The few guys that have had a go at trying to “win me over” have been in for a rude shock. I have been SO RUDE to them!! And they certainly didn’t deserve it! The one I was rudest to I liked A LOT!! He was good looking (well, to me), good job, secure, no apparent baggage or kids, didn’t want kids…too good to be true!!So I was continually purposely rude to him to make sure I didn’t end up going out with him. I know I am not ready because everytime it gets to the point where its time to flirt, I just do the opposite. I am more shocked than they are at what comes out of my mouth! Its not swearing – its just lies like, ” but I ALWAYS think the man should pay for everything!”.
Rosa: ” A big bum for a bloke ” means he has got more of a girls shaped bum. You know, not your tight little hot a#se that we usually love, but a good couple of hands full on each cheek!! But the rest of him is in proportion. I found out he is married with two young kids too.
Matt: I have never seen the cowboy but I have a crush on him already! lol
Libelle: ” My ex psychopath solicitor” was a solicitor i went to to handle my inheritance. He was a psychopath who targeted me and we ended up in a relationship. He got my inheritence, my house I lived in and had me charged. It took me seven years to clear my name and recover from him. He is still out there doing it to other women and he got away with it. But he has the corrupt police, other lawyers and judges on the Gold Coast on his pay list.
I didn’t have a “crush” on anyone for eight years after he had finished with me. He annihalated me. There was nothing left of me. Literally. I am very lucky to be alive.
Rosa:
We will have heaps of money from our Psychopath Hog farm that we set up with Oxy..remember?
PPS:
Oxy: I have got as fat as Matts ex P but in such a short time,! Do you think its the effexor?? I hate it!!
i.e fat in the gutze.
I guess if i won the lottery by baggage wouldnt matter. Having money has nothing to do with being successfull in life. I have alot of baggage, and very little money, but for some reason I still feel like I have alot to offer one special person. I have never considered someones checkbook when it comes to love…
Dear all, dear Tilly, I am sorry for my warning you. I thought “crush” means falling in love head over heels for somebody, but with all your examples I think I got it! Thank you, my English is improving. And I agree with everybody allowing oneself to feeling these special feeings again is wonderful!
I just watched the ‘First Wives Club’….
Oh….how I love Ivana Trump…..
“Don’t get mad…..GET EVERYTHING”!!!!
I’m changing my screen name to Ivana. 🙂
Tilly,
Crush away……girl!
I ‘crushed’ today….yikes….gotta watch myself, wife and kids! Totally OFF limits…..
But, it’s okay to stare and wonder huh? Not that he was in the least bit interested in me~ But I figure, since I spent 3 decades in a fantasy……why stop now!!!!
I would love for him to be the one sprinkling the lavendar oil on my pillow tonight!!! 🙂
Libelle:
Um….Yikes! Maybe you should stick with your original definition of “crush”. I think your original definition may be closer to correct. Some of us were being a little sarcastic in our statements. 🙂
The way I would define “crush” (in America) is that it IS falling head over heals “in Love” for someone, but in a completely romantic and dreamy way. There is no basis for this so called feeling of “love” that we feel for the object of our crush. We have never had much conversation or interaction or anything with this person. The object of our crush is someone who gives us butterflies and makes our heart race whenever they come near us. But there is NO basis for it, so crushes can end as quickly as they begin. It is NOT the same kind of Love that you would base a marraige on (unless you are ME. 🙂 Just kidding).
In American cinema and television, they used to show people’s crushes as the two people “in love” running towards each other in slow motion with their arms outstretched for each other, wind blowing through the hair, and then they meet on the beach and finally embrace/kiss, all in slow motion. It just does not happen like that in real life. Do you know what I mean? What I just described is what you would daydream about in your head about the object of your crush, if you had a crush on someone (if the year was 1972).
But you get the general idea, right?
I hope I did not confuse you even more.
P.S. My ex-Sociopath boyfriend made me feel very “crush-like” when he came around me in the early stages of my relationship with him. But that “tingle” turned into TERROR. I will address the concept of “Fantasy” and “Delusions” at a later time.
Matt:
“A big bum for a bloke” = “two hams fighting under a blanket”.