Sociopaths, as a group, tend to be predatory personalities. But does the converse always hold? Are predatory personalities, by definition, sociopaths?
Is it possible to prey on innocent people, and victimize them, yet not be a sociopath?
I think the answer to this question is yes…it is possible to be a predator and not a sociopath, although let me state as strongly as possible that, sociopath or not, the predator’s exploitation is no less damaging.
How one defines the predatory personality makes a difference. For purposes of this discussion, here’s how I’m going to define it: The predatory personality recognizes (if not actively seeks) opportunities for personal gratification, and seizes those opportunities knowing full well that, in doing so, he or she will cause someone else to feel victimized.
This must be a pattern of behavior to constitute predation.
While hardly comprehensive, this will be my working definition.
Predatory behavior can be driven by compulsion, but not all predatory behavior is compulsively driven. When it’s not, as a matter of fact, I think that sociopathy is a virtual given.
Compulsion can be a driving feature of predatory behavior. And many of us can attest personally to the power of compulsion. Compulsion is, by definition, an incredibly hard force to resist. When we feel compelled to do something, even knowing it’s an unwise thing to do, we often do it anyway…and sometimes again and again. Resistance to the compulsive urge proves enormously difficult.
We also know that sometimes, what “compels” us, at the same time violates our general standards and personal values (causing most of us, in these cases, internal disturbance).
This makes compulsion a quite fascinating experience, among other reasons for its seeming power to drive us to actions or thoughts that sometimes fly in the face of our self-respect, and sometimes respect for others.
Of course, not everyone who feels compulsively driven to perform self-violating or violating behaviors even has an underlying value system to be contravened. In these cases, I’d again suggest that sociopathy is likely to apply.
But things grow murkier in cases of individuals who, otherwise seeming to possess and adhere to reasonable moral standards, find themselves “compelled” to actions that profoundly transgress their standards—actions, especially, that leave a wake of victims in their trail.
Theoretically these may be cases where the urge to perpetrate the behavior—the compulsion itself—is so powerful that it’s as if it overrides and corrupts the standards the individual normally applies, and from which he or she draws his or her self-esteem.
In such cases, shame, self-contempt, guilt, and conscious or unconscious acts of penance can follow.
In August an interesting story broke in The New York Times headlined “Star Pediatrician Fights Accusations of Sex Abuse.” It concerned a pediatrician, researcher and writer, Melvin Levine, MD, who is recognized for his work on children’s learning styles and differences. Levine has written several popular psychology/education books on children, and his innovative research has been embraced by school districts across the country.
The front-page story (Aug. 6) reports that multiple former patients, either directly or else through their families—victims who could not possibly have known each other—alleged that, over a period of decades, Levine sexually molested them in the course of physical examinations he conducted with them alone.
Some of the accusations surfaced while Levine was still practicing, others later. None of the accusations, it turns out, was rigorously investigated, as a result of which Levine was never made professionally accountable at any point.
Levine has denied the allegations despite the fact that the complaints were spread across different states, over long stretches of time, contained virtually identical descriptions of his sexual abusiveness and, as noted, were made by disparate, disconnected patients. Thus, the probability of some sort of conspiracy to undermine him begs credulity.
Who, then, is Melvin Levine, MD, assuming the allegations are true and that, over a period of decades—as he was simultaneously contributing undeniably meaningful work to the better understanding and academic growth of children—he was also selecting some of them to sexually molest?
Is he, by definition, a sociopath? Certainly, if the accusations are true, he meets the criteria of a predator. But does this necessarily make him a sociopath?
I could be wrong, yet I can imagine that Melvin Levine falls into that category of individuals who find themselves in the throes of a compulsion that insists as if tyrannically on its expression. I can imagine that Melvin Levine has secretly despised himself from his first, and every subsequent, capitulation to his compulsion.
I can imagine that Melvin Levine has been filled, over the years, with a private self-mortification, believing himself to be incorrigibly corrupted and beyond help or forgiveness. And I can imagine that his good works—his career that, so oddly, has been devoted to the same children he’s abused—derived and evolved from a genuine need to contribute his talents to society in a meaningful way.
I can imagine that Dr. Levine has been living for decades in awful confusion, trying to reconcile his good, perhaps even admirable values,with behavior that’s made a shameful mockery of those values.
Of course, it’s possible that Melvin Levine is a sociopath, and that I’m giving him way too much credit. But I entertain the possibility that he isn’t; that instead, from the first time he indulged his compulsion, he began digging himself as if into a psychic hole of shame and self-corruption so deep and inescapable that, at some point, his survival came to depend on denial and lies and, of course, his capacity to compartmentalize.
Skepticism here is valid. Where do you draw the line? How about serial rapists? Or serial killers? After all, isn’t a monster a monster, regardless of the role compulsion plays in his or her deviance? Who cares what the diagnosis is, one can rightfully object! It’s the behavior that marks the man (or woman)!
I’ve merely scratched the surface of this discussion, and intend to continue it in a future post.
(This article is copyrighted (c) 2009 by Steve Becker, LCSW.)
“At the same time, though, I am content to be “alone” because tehre is no one that I have a crush on that is “appropriate” for me, and there is no one that I have a crush on that has a crush on me! But that’s okay! LIFE IS GRAND and you can have a crush on anyone you like!!!! (((hugs))))”…Oxy
Oxy…so OK…I got a crush on you, too!
And Tilly, and Joy, and…
Sorry I missed the “crush-fest” last night. We can still admire each other from afar….and it’s safer that way!
((((HUGS)))I can still regard you all with affection.
Jim
Dear Tilly,
No darling, the effexor is not making you FAT! You are eating more calories than you are expending. BOTTOM LINE. SHUT YOUR MOUTH—EMPTY!!!1 LOL ROTFLMAO However, that said, there is some experiments with mice showing that STRESS does cause a weight gain, SPECIFICALLY in the middle region. Even without ANY chang ein diet or exercise.
The stress hormones make you gain weight in the “waist” area. I have always had a “waist” even if I was over weight, but now, I have more of a fire plug shape with a belly I never had before. I am VERY active physically and exercise a lot, but still get this fat belly. That is interesting to me, it is amazing what ILL effects that STRESS has on our bodies, much less our MINDS and EMOTIONS.
Yesterday was a very stressful day for me. First off, we lost electric power at 2 p.m. friday and didn’t get it back until just before dark on Sunday. No power=no fans on a HOT HUMMID day, NO WATER (we use a well) so hauling water to drink and flush toilets, playing cards in the evening by candle light with my GUESTS (of course I had guests wshen this happened.) Then when the power came on, teh water ran for a couple of minutes and then quit—yep, pipe broke in the water system, so son fixed that, I have sleep apnea, so no power=no apnea machine to pump air to me at night to keep me breathing, so was awake with a head ache from “smothering” half the night and no REAL sleep=CRANKY ME! Fortunately we had a generator to keep the refrigerators and freezers going and recharge our computers and cell phones, but way too loud to run all the time and wouldn’t keep up the entire house anyway.
I have noticed that with the PTSD that I am less able to handle “multiple” ccaotic episodes going on at once. I used to be able to “juggle” 4-5 “balls” at once and now I am able only to (using both hands) keep ONE ball off the floor at a time, MOST of the time and sometimes I even drop that one ball.! LOL
Tilly, some people do gain weight on Effexor. It seems to be a paradoxical effect, since Effexor is also diagnosed to help with weight loss. I know of several people who were on high dosages who gained 40 to 50 pounds.
If you think it’s putting weight on you, talk to your doctor about options. There are other SNRIs, and also medications used to counteract this effect, if you’re willing to add another pill.
One more very important thing about crushes.
A Crush is ALWAYS innocent. That’s why it is called a “childish crush” or a “school-girl crush”.
There is no hidden agenda or sinister motives.
If you need the police or a restraining order, you are no longer dealing with a “crush”.
Tilly, eating a high carbohydrate diet actually “calms” us in a way, and raises our spirits as well. I find myself eating more when I am stressed.
Exercise also raises our spirits too, as well as speeds up our metabolism making us burn more calories even while we are not actively exercising. Having taught nutritional courses for patients in the past and weight loss classes back in the days when “phen-fen” was being touted by the medical community and pharmocology community as the “painless weight loss pills” the bottom line is that there (a) are no pills of any kind without potential side effects, and (B) the bottom line is that in order to lose weight you must MUST take in fewer calories than you burn. (c) “crash” diets where people “starve” themselves with 800 or fewer calories per day adjusts the metabolism into “starvation” and “conservation” mode where the body will actually burn muscle (very ineffecient) and conserve fat, so those people continually go on and off that “diet” and each cycle they go through they lose muscle and gain a percentage of fat. since fat itself uses less calories to maintain itself than muscle does, it is actually a lose-lose situation, BUT not losing weight, just a healthy body.
A good SENSIBLE diet of food intake at about 1200-1500 calories per day and a half hour of walking or other exercise that gets your heart rate up will, over the long run, lose you 2-3 pounds a week on average. When you have acheived your desired weight, then add a few hundred calories per day and monitor your weight so that you don’t start to gain again and that is the number of calories you need to stay with on average. If you splurge one day (say at a birthday party) then eat less the next day to balance it out. It takes about 3 months to reset your “appe-stat” which is the part of our brain that tells us when we need to eat. It takes a while to “reset” it and adjust to the amount of food our body thinks it needs. Hang in there, when it comes to weight, it is all about being “sensable” (damn it!) there is no “easy” way around it! sorry! I wish there was.
Back when the “phen-fen” thing was in vogue, people would come into our clinic and want it as an ‘easy” way to lose weight. I have told several patients, “if this was MAGIC, do you think most of the women in this clinic would be overweight?” LOL ROTFLMAO and in the end, it turned out to cause heart problems in some people, glad none of us in the clinic ever took it.
Oh Oxy, you and I could debate forever on these issues. I was a post-phen-fen person. After they removed fenfleuramine from the market because of the heart problems, it was replaced by Prozac. That’s what I took, phentermine and Prozac, and lost about 40 pounds with the combination of anti-depressent and appetite suppressant.
I had high blood pressure when I started, was the most overweight I’ve ever been in my life, in early menopause (cranky and hyper-sensitive), and completely overwhelmed with work and stress in the early days of starting my agency. For me, it was an excellent solution. Improved my mood, increased my metabolism and motivation to exercise, and stopped me from reaching for a high-carb or sugar snack as an antidote to stress. Lowered my blood pressure and cholesterol too.
So I had a good experience with this particular medical solution.
Kathy,
I’ve had patients on several appetite suppresents, but the bottom line is that you must EAT LESS than you burn.
Overweight is a problem with cholesterol and other metabolic problems (Diabetes, high cholesterol and CAD is now called “metabolic syndrome” and is actually a multifaceted thing caused by environmental issues as well as genetic tendencies.) Losing weight and increasing exercise (if you are over weight and sedentary) is almost always beneficial in your over all health, but frankly, there is NO “risk free” medication in the world, and so there are trade offs. If a patient refuses to eat right or exercise, or physically can’t exercise sometimes I agree that “pills” may be better than nothiing being done if a patient is morbidly obese, but there ARE trade off risks, and good sense and doing it yourself is the cheapest and NO RISK way to do it. For people who have a ‘food addiction” the lap-bad surgery is also an option, though, again, not risk free.
I was never one to be the “first” to prescribe a new medication until it had been on the market for a while, and also not the last one either. I promoted life style changes in my patients and had a remarkable succerss rate with my diabetics and others. My skillet is a powerful motivator!!! LOL
Well, Oxy, if you’d been able to hang out with me in that busy office and keep the skillet at the ready, I probably would have done it your way. And had lots of good conversation and laughs while I was doing it.
Well, I’m not THAT fat! lol ! And yes, I have tried a lot of the appetite suppressants and they made me even more hypervigilant (euphimism for paranoid) than I already am, and triple- stressed – out, too. I have never heard of phentermine, maybe its not in Australia.
Since I left the ex P, I stopped exercising, because I am working more to pay off debts . I am still doing art at uni. So I am painting non-stop. Which leaves zilch time for exercise and lotsa time for chocolate and hamburgers, which adds up to fat gutze. And not trim- taught- terrific -Tilly. Plus I used to walk my dog everyday, but now I don’t do anything but paint in my spare time.
I thought that having been on the effexor for so long (since the psychopath solicitor), maybe my body got used to it and thats why I am fat fast. But hey, its winter here! I am on 75 g once a day of effexor. If I go up in dosage I always put HEAPS of weight on and become a couch potato.
JiminIndy: Just as well you added me to the list or I would have to devalue you like the psychopath, to save face, lol!
The good thing about a “childish crush” is, that if you want to get rid of the crush, all you have to do is tell the person that you have the crush on and BINGO! its gone! I’ve done it (told them in the past )and all I felt afterwards was embarrasment and “what was I thinking having a crush on HIM…I DONT EVEN KNOW HIM !” It is like having a crush on a popstar when you are a young teenager.
Rosa..two hams..two pigs! yuk!! thats gross!But a good one!
Henry: I am only joking about the money! You must watch the first wives club that Ivana, I mean ErinB spoke of…she gets SUCH good revenge on her two timing husband! It is SOO funny!
My p daughter arrives in two weeks, I’m scared of breaking my no contact rule. But since she knows that I am broke it should be fairly easy to keep her away.
Since I have been on LF my visits to my Psychopath parents are minimal. I went yesterday for an hour and my mother was so toxic it was like injecting poison. I can’t tolerate it much at all now. (I can’t believe how long she has lived for a paraplegic!) She has never believed in God. She believes in her psychopathic vampire son and nothing else. I must stop all contact now that my daughter is returning. It is dangerous for me and I have a lot of anxt over what might happen. PTSD at its height. Its so good to be able to express it to someone here on LF.
My paintings are getting much better. Lately, I always seem paint psychopaths and their victims or something to do with them. Its such a great release for me. LF has been so amazing…still don’t have my computer but am using the uni ones now, and sometimes the cafe.
Thankyou fellow survivors! Keep the fantastic work and tough love up!!! I need you..It works!!
Speaking of weight loss, I know of a great website for counting calories. It analyzes your height/weight/age/activity level and then recommends a daily calorie intake. You can log the food you eat and it keeps track of the calories you ingest and burn each day. It also tracks your weight on a cool graph and you can add your exercise and it adds those calories burned to your burn total for each day, so you can see how much you take in vs. what you burn. And it’s free! http://www.caloriecount.about.com
As for the effects of stress on the body, it is amazing. I gained 10lbs within the first two weeks of being reunited with my S. YIKES. I also experienced Alopecia (where your hair falls out) that my dermatologist told me was caused by “extreme emotional stress.” My S actually made my hair FALL OUT! At least it was underneath and could be easily hidden, and after treatment it’s starting to grow back. Stress stinks!