Sociopaths, as a group, tend to be predatory personalities. But does the converse always hold? Are predatory personalities, by definition, sociopaths?
Is it possible to prey on innocent people, and victimize them, yet not be a sociopath?
I think the answer to this question is yes…it is possible to be a predator and not a sociopath, although let me state as strongly as possible that, sociopath or not, the predator’s exploitation is no less damaging.
How one defines the predatory personality makes a difference. For purposes of this discussion, here’s how I’m going to define it: The predatory personality recognizes (if not actively seeks) opportunities for personal gratification, and seizes those opportunities knowing full well that, in doing so, he or she will cause someone else to feel victimized.
This must be a pattern of behavior to constitute predation.
While hardly comprehensive, this will be my working definition.
Predatory behavior can be driven by compulsion, but not all predatory behavior is compulsively driven. When it’s not, as a matter of fact, I think that sociopathy is a virtual given.
Compulsion can be a driving feature of predatory behavior. And many of us can attest personally to the power of compulsion. Compulsion is, by definition, an incredibly hard force to resist. When we feel compelled to do something, even knowing it’s an unwise thing to do, we often do it anyway…and sometimes again and again. Resistance to the compulsive urge proves enormously difficult.
We also know that sometimes, what “compels” us, at the same time violates our general standards and personal values (causing most of us, in these cases, internal disturbance).
This makes compulsion a quite fascinating experience, among other reasons for its seeming power to drive us to actions or thoughts that sometimes fly in the face of our self-respect, and sometimes respect for others.
Of course, not everyone who feels compulsively driven to perform self-violating or violating behaviors even has an underlying value system to be contravened. In these cases, I’d again suggest that sociopathy is likely to apply.
But things grow murkier in cases of individuals who, otherwise seeming to possess and adhere to reasonable moral standards, find themselves “compelled” to actions that profoundly transgress their standards—actions, especially, that leave a wake of victims in their trail.
Theoretically these may be cases where the urge to perpetrate the behavior—the compulsion itself—is so powerful that it’s as if it overrides and corrupts the standards the individual normally applies, and from which he or she draws his or her self-esteem.
In such cases, shame, self-contempt, guilt, and conscious or unconscious acts of penance can follow.
In August an interesting story broke in The New York Times headlined “Star Pediatrician Fights Accusations of Sex Abuse.” It concerned a pediatrician, researcher and writer, Melvin Levine, MD, who is recognized for his work on children’s learning styles and differences. Levine has written several popular psychology/education books on children, and his innovative research has been embraced by school districts across the country.
The front-page story (Aug. 6) reports that multiple former patients, either directly or else through their families—victims who could not possibly have known each other—alleged that, over a period of decades, Levine sexually molested them in the course of physical examinations he conducted with them alone.
Some of the accusations surfaced while Levine was still practicing, others later. None of the accusations, it turns out, was rigorously investigated, as a result of which Levine was never made professionally accountable at any point.
Levine has denied the allegations despite the fact that the complaints were spread across different states, over long stretches of time, contained virtually identical descriptions of his sexual abusiveness and, as noted, were made by disparate, disconnected patients. Thus, the probability of some sort of conspiracy to undermine him begs credulity.
Who, then, is Melvin Levine, MD, assuming the allegations are true and that, over a period of decades—as he was simultaneously contributing undeniably meaningful work to the better understanding and academic growth of children—he was also selecting some of them to sexually molest?
Is he, by definition, a sociopath? Certainly, if the accusations are true, he meets the criteria of a predator. But does this necessarily make him a sociopath?
I could be wrong, yet I can imagine that Melvin Levine falls into that category of individuals who find themselves in the throes of a compulsion that insists as if tyrannically on its expression. I can imagine that Melvin Levine has secretly despised himself from his first, and every subsequent, capitulation to his compulsion.
I can imagine that Melvin Levine has been filled, over the years, with a private self-mortification, believing himself to be incorrigibly corrupted and beyond help or forgiveness. And I can imagine that his good works—his career that, so oddly, has been devoted to the same children he’s abused—derived and evolved from a genuine need to contribute his talents to society in a meaningful way.
I can imagine that Dr. Levine has been living for decades in awful confusion, trying to reconcile his good, perhaps even admirable values,with behavior that’s made a shameful mockery of those values.
Of course, it’s possible that Melvin Levine is a sociopath, and that I’m giving him way too much credit. But I entertain the possibility that he isn’t; that instead, from the first time he indulged his compulsion, he began digging himself as if into a psychic hole of shame and self-corruption so deep and inescapable that, at some point, his survival came to depend on denial and lies and, of course, his capacity to compartmentalize.
Skepticism here is valid. Where do you draw the line? How about serial rapists? Or serial killers? After all, isn’t a monster a monster, regardless of the role compulsion plays in his or her deviance? Who cares what the diagnosis is, one can rightfully object! It’s the behavior that marks the man (or woman)!
I’ve merely scratched the surface of this discussion, and intend to continue it in a future post.
(This article is copyrighted (c) 2009 by Steve Becker, LCSW.)
Hey Tilly! I dont think I have ever read a post where you’ve sounded so down:( You sound so overwhelmed – it’s heartbreaking. Please try to really rest and take care of yourself xxx I know it sounds trite, but things will get brighter later if you allow yourself to rest and get over the exhaustion you must be feeling. I have many days when I feel like I wish it would all just ‘f**ing end’ (yesterday evening was one, but I put myself to bed and by some miracle I got through it) xxxx Please take care LF’s beloved creative wonderful Tilly.x
Dear Tilly,
The “I[‘m not fat, i’m fluffy” is an american “joke” where you have apicture of a big fat EWE and the saying underneat the sheep! ha ha
Hon, I wish I could wrap my arms around you, I’m having a tough week too, I’m cranky and out of sorts and like one buzzard said to the other one, “Patience my arse, I want to go kill something!” My milking doe (goat) cut her teat yesterday all down the side clear through the skin and I had to sew it up (she was NOT a happy camper!) I have to go to the vet today to get some antibiotic and tetnus vaccine for her. Fortunately her kid is still not completely weaned, so I can let the kid suck out that side and it is less traumatic on her than for me to milk it. she is such a heavy milker I will have to let th ekid suck about every 4-6 hours until it heals enough I can take the sutures out. I hate it when an animal gets hurt. they don’t understand taht what you are doing is good for them and is helping them, they just know you are hurting them.
I do understand your desire from time to time to strangle him with your bare hands–I’ve sure been there!
Try to focus on your pictures and your painting—hey, not everyone has seen the face of God! You are a fortunate woman!@....... Besides, you are AWAY from that piece of human garbage! (((hugs))) and all my prayers–pray for me too, this is a week I definitely need them!
Tilly:
STOP talking like that!!
It is obvious that you over-did it on the ant killer. You know, those fumes will make you loopy.
Get some rest, and I want to know how you are feeling in about 12-24 hours from now.
Hey Tilly
I’m fairly new to the site and in NC since January (parted from the S over a year). Finally, got rid of his torturing text messages and phone calls by letting him think he’d won (very important to this particular ‘sick’ person) – it took every ounce of strength I had left after four years of ‘control, manipulation and financial ruin’ at his hands.
To get to the point: something that helped me alot through the darkest days (and I can’t remember where I read these words of wisdom) was: “focus on your own truth and not his lies”. Having been a very strong person before the S arrived, I realised that I had had a very strong sense of my own truth and ‘tools for living’ (even though, at the time, I did not put this into conscious words or quantify it in any way).
I had been beating myself up and blaming myself for being ‘hooked in’ by this S for so long and all it made me feel was shamed and humiliated. Once I got hold of this phrase and started to realise that my own truth had always been based on honesty, integrity, compassion, empathy and ‘do unto others as you would have done unto you’ (I’m not even religious!), I found it easier to come to terms with the fact that you cannot legislate for the deceit and bad behaviour of others – only learn to recognise it early and use this as a tool to protect yourself from becoming involved with S/Ps in the future. The angry phase now seems to have dissipated (don’t rant at the walls and have feelings of revenge anymore – progress indeed!).
I realise that it has been easier for me – breaking ties with someone who is not your blood is, of course, easier but I hear your turmoil and desperation. However, I amazed at your resiliance – a crush? I stand back from anyone new I meet and observe very carefully ……… a very overdue mechanism for assessment in my life I think… but there’s also a sadness for the loss of the person I used to be – took everyone at face value and always saw the best. Was this childish of me? Perhaps. However, it left me extremely vulnerable as a target for S’es didn’t it? So perhaps we have to sacrifice a little of who we were to become the people we are supposed to be to survive this life with some threads of sanity.
Hope the world looks sunnier on your side of the pond when the new day dawns.
Escapee (UK)
Tilly: I feel like I have hit the skids too. I forced myself to go to the post office, buy gas for the car, put air in the tires, go to grocery store, and the ENTIRE time I felt like slobbering all over myself. I think I’m going to go lie down for a while. Tomorrow will be better, oh, maybe it’s already tomorrow over there!!!!
Tilly,
I hope you are feeling better today. Maybe if you’re well enough you could get out of your flat for a walk. I know that being outside and getting a little fresh air and exercise always does wonders for me when I’m feeling resentful about giving so much and getting nothing in return. Sometimes I have to start running fast enough that I have to concentrate on where I place my feet–then I’m too busy to let my mind be filled with all the usual annoying thoughts.
It’d probably do you good to get away from that poison too 😉
TILLY!
Are you OK? Hope you are feeling better.
Tilly,
Put your seatbelt on girl……your on a ride! Step back, see what’s going on, embrace it and react in the fashion of healing and put ALL your lessons to work for you!
Don’t ‘dwell’ on all the bad….you have already determined all the ‘bad facts’, (i’m not minimizing…..I’m slapping you upside the head), negativitiy breeds negativity….YOU KNOW THIS!!!! Get yourself out, you need to laugh…..cry…..let it out. YOU CAN DO THIS!…IT DOES GET BETTER!!!! IT DOES, IT DOES, IT DOES!!!!!
Believe in yourself~ think of all the good qualities and experiences you have. There are MANY!
You have anxiety over your P daughters pending ‘visit’. Keep yourself scarce….it’s NOT about HER! It’s all about YOU!!!
COMMIT TO YOURSELF……(different than commiting yourself 🙂
It you take control, you will be empowered, then work off your empowerment to get your strength!
I send you strength tonight……your in my thoughts.
XXOO
OK Tilly, check in or I will get the skillet out!!!! Creeakkkkk! That’s the sound of my oven door opening! (No, it was NOT rusted shut!!!!) Even though Henry has been a good boy lately and I haven’t had to BOINK him any, I keep the door greased well!!!!
I am praying for you, sweetie! Get yer boomerang out!!! (((hugs)))
TILLY!!! PLEASE POST SOMETHING SO WE KNOW YOU ARE OK.