Is this judge a sociopath?

Those abused by family members and romantic partners seek information on this site trying to understand the personality of their abuser. They wonder is he/she a sociopath? Does a personality disorder explain why this happened to me?

The answers to these questions are often hard to come by. Experts require “proof” of a set of personality traits before diagnosing someone with a disorder. Yet in my opinion, we have an obligation to the victims of abuse to explain to them that abusers are not “normal” people who are simply misguided in their attempts to “help” others. Abuse is often perpetrated by sociopaths under the guise of “helping.”

This week a young lady 23-year-old Hillary Adams, posted a video on Youtube of her abuser perpetrating violence against her. When you watch the video keep in mind that the abuser is also a judge. The video is very difficult to watch but it is a gift because it allows us to see firsthand the abuser’s pathos.

Please watch the video and then continue reading.

Consider whether you also see what I see here:

1. A perpetrator that enjoyed hurting another with a victim that had been in this roll before.
2. Motivated by the orgasm of power, perpetrator actually used the word submission.
3. There were many sexual overtones, the word f*** was repeated over and over; “get on the bed”; “bend over the bed”; “roll over”; “I never got my licking on her”; “I’m going to wear your F****** a** off with this belt”.
4. Perpetrator wanted to give her a “glass of water” so he could continue to perpetrate. When the BTK killer described this behavior, I coined it the glass of water phenomenon. Shows the appearance of empathy, but its goal is to get the victim to recover enough to be abused further.
5. “You don’t deserve to be in this house” no she doesn’t this much is true.

Do you agree with me that this should be prosecuted as a sex offense? Isn’t that justified by the words the body part and the setting?

What more do we need to see or know to understand this man’s disorder?

Mother has since divorced him, both mother and daughter spoke exclusively with Matt Lauer on TODAY Thursday about the furor the video has caused and the reasons for posting it seven years after it was taken.

Watch the Today Show Interview

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just after watching the video, I was forwarded following picture
this is totally embarassing and offending for victims of child abuse


Interesting perspective that Judge Adams is a sociopathic abuser and one I agree with wholeheartedly. He wasn’t too worried about his younger daughter hearing her sister’s screams that night (she’s in the corner of the screen in the beginning of the video) but is worried how the media attention is affecting her now? Please! Classic blame-shifting from abuser to victim. Also, why did she have to sleep on the couch? Probably because it was easier for him to go sexually abuse her there, wouldn’t be detected in her room for an extended period of time by the mother. I believe the mother participated because, in typical abusive home perversion, she was trying to maintain control and diffuse her husband. Not excusing her because a healthy mother would’ve protected her child and called the police if he didn’t stop. I personally could feel the mother’s anxiety but need to involve herself in the abuse, perhaps because she was projecting her own need to just accept it and take the abuse until it was over? They are all sick but is that surprising in the home of a violent abuser? I was sick and deluded until very recently to all of the abuses I had suffered as the “scapegoat” of the family. Hillary is obviously the scapegoat and just now getting the courage after being discarded by her father’s care financially (which was probably used to manipulate her silence) that she spoke out. Funny how so many people are scapegoating her now, instead of seeing she grew up in a distorted environment her WHOLE life, so of course she’s not going to look exactly like what we perceive as victims based on our own circumstances. Some of us are strong enough to leave immediately and never look back, some of us enable the abuser forever never standing up to him/her and others are in between- finding our way when we are ready to heal.



Thank you for your post about Tangled. I have heard it was good, and I am now more excited to see it. How do you think my 3 yr. old Jr. will do with it?

I really appreciated your observation about how we (non-spaths) say the same things as the spath parent, but we model it.



It’s been a while since i’ve had a 3 year old…’s a disney animated movie……for whatever that’s worth?

It IS a great movie…..but i think I enjoyed it for the lessons, watching it with my kids….and having dialogue in relation to ‘our’ lives and the messages we took from it.
It screamed at us all!

Your three year old will certainly not have the same experience we did with it (at this age)…….but i’ve heard kids like it, they showed it at the preschool where one of my jr’s works….(again…it’s Disney?!?!)

I’m curious to get some feedback from someone on their take on TANGLED.
Let me know when you get to see it.

LF’ers……Please watch it…..I highly recommend it!!!!

Let’s discuss it…….


Dear EB,
Tangled is one of the favourite movies of my niece (9,5 years old). I love it too, and we have watched it several times already (she has the DVD)

My niece clearly sees all the lessons but is not making a connection to her mother (my sister) who is a N in my opinion and who sees my niece as an extension of herself and sometimes shows behaviour of the mean film character. The niece has no father (he was sent away by my sister when the baby was 4 months old, a good thing to do as he was a horrible man) and she has a very close relationship with her mother of course.

And in the film the “mother” is not the REAL mother; it is easy to demonize her.

In my opinion it is very difficult to transport a fairy tale into real life sometimes. And the concept of the “archetypes” is a very intellectual one.

On the visceral level it is a wonderful film. Most I love the final scene when Rapunzel is cutting off her hair (basically her most valuable asset to get the appreciation of the “mother”) to save the thief and so she refuses to continue being the victim of the evil “mother”. It always brings tears in my eyes, even after having seen the film several times.

I can very strongly recommend the film! And it has a happy ending and the spath gets what she deserves 🙂 !


I am VERY proud of this young woman. She has helped out so many people by bringing this abuse to light. I hope that she is commended and accepted as being a hero.

I also agree with Dr. Leedam’s assessment of the perpetrator. I see the traits of a sociopath in there. I also see that the wife was “brainwashed” as she stated and I can empathize with her breaking out of the pattern. Both women should be commended for going public and sharing this story that touches us all deeply.

Ox Drover

Thanks Sky, I read this in another news article in another paper. I laughed about the COMMENTS on this article though….sometimes the comments are better than the article in some newspapers. Makes you appreciate LF doesn’t it? I needed the laughs, too, so thanks again, Sky!

Ox Drover

Here is a new article about this situation. Notice the daughter is still wanting to get her father “help” but she is starting it seems to realize that he has NO REMORSE…and that his suspension from the bench WITH FULL PAY is like a “vacation.”

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