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RESOURCES PERSPECTIVES: Judges are practicing mental health without a license

Editor’s note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud’s Professional Resources Guide.

Rebecca Potter works as a licensed mental health counselor in West Palm Beach, Florida. She can be reached at: [email protected]

Judge William Adams shown beating his daughter with a belt on YouTube

By Rebecca Potter

Rebecca Potter profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide

As I saw the following video and commentary on CNN last night, I could not sleep. It appears that the sheriff in the town of Rockport, Texas has received countless calls of concern about Judge William Adams, who was shown beating his daughter with a belt on YouTube. Judge Adams is a family court judge. People were concerned about this judge being allowed to make decisions about the welfare of children. Judge Adams has three years left to make decisions about the welfare of families in Rockport, Texas.

Here’s the YouTube video: Judge William Adams beats daughter for using the Internet

Judge Adams feels that he was fairly disciplining his daughter for downloading music from the Internet. When I saw this video of his daughter, who has cerebral palsy, she was being beaten with a belt as she begged for him to stop. The daughter had set up her computer web camera as she felt the beating coming. Recent comments from the judge indicate that he sees nothing wrong with how he abused his child. News stories indicate he has left town, and officials are stating that he will not preside over cases that involve children.

Family court ignores the physical and emotion affect of abuse on children

Current research is able to document the effects of child abuse on the brain. As a professional, when I testify in court regarding the damage to children from trauma and abuse, I am not taken seriously. The judges feel that there is no physical damage, and they say permissive parenting by the protective parent is the cause of acting out behaviors of children. Meanwhile, current research shows that 60 percent of children who experience trauma and abuse will develop a substance use disorder.

Unfortunately, many of us have had to appear before judges like the Texas Judge Adams who feels justified to whip (beat and attack) his daughter with a belt, as she had been caught downloading music. These judges discount the scientific research and evidence of physical abuse causing permanent brain damage.

Hanley Center currently researching the effects of substance use and trauma on brain health

Brain scan technology is showing evidence of physical scars that occur in the brain after trauma and abuse. I attended a lecture by Dr. Barbara Krantz, Medical Director of the Hanley Center in West Palm Beach, Florida. Brain imaging is being used in her facility. It is now possible to document what drugs and/or alcohol have been consumed based on the areas of the brain that show injury in brain scans. What also was shared was the difference in the hippocampus of an abused child and the hippocampus of a child who did not suffer abuse. This is the proof of permanent physical damage to the brain of a child who has been abused. Often these children medicate the emotional pain with substance use.

Practicing Mental Health without a license

Family judges are practicing mental health without a license. This practice by family court judges is dangerous to the health of our families, our nation and our financial well-being

  • Many of these judges are unaware of current research.
  • Judges do not allow children to testify or be a part of the court hearings that determine their well-being
  • Children and protective parents are developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Additionally, when a judge has a tendency for personal pathology, they relate to the litigant who is also shares the personal pathology traits. These disordered individuals agree in the harsh punishment, punishment that does not fit the crime. This is the philosophy of control and dominance. These judges discriminate against the protective parent because they have not processed very personal feelings, and the protective parent is unbearable to their own personal philosophy. The judges are able to make decisions that affect the mental health of a child without the ability to understand their own personal opinions and processing of their own injuries. Readers will want to read articles on www.highconflictinstitute.com to understand the ignorance of judges who are confronted with the high conflict divorce and custody cases.

I have worked in the mental health field, and have had years of training to separate my own personal views and judgments from the individuals that I treat. This discernment and ability to separate your personal opinions and judgment comes from intensive personal training, supervision and counseling. Judges are exposed to mental health issues of families and children. They have not had this training and they are unable to provide a competent decision in these cases. In my opinion, I feel that Family Court judges are being asked to practice the profession of mental health without the proper training.

Judges use of defense mechanisms to insulate themselves against protective parents

When an individual does not have the training, supervision and experience to understand their use of defense mechanisms (your own dysfunction and personal defects), the individual blames and targets the individual who reminds you of your emotional pain. The use of these defense mechanisms allows an individual to insulate themselves from the pain, guilt, and shame.

Often times, the judges are so angered by the protective parent that to further insulate the judge, the protective parent is thrown in jail, or worse, the children are taken away and given to the parent with whom the judge can relate and identify. There is further emotional and financial pain placed upon the protective parent. The protective parent and children are damaged by the trauma of the court and develop complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

In my opinion, this is use of a defense mechanisms to project blame and repress the protective parent. If the children are removed and the protective parent is placed in jail, the judges do not have to face their own dysfunction. The saying, “out of sight, out of mind” is the attitude of a dysfunctional individual who wants to keep memories, fears, guilt and shame repressed.

Behavioral Research

Typically, all behavior research has demonstrated that punishment does not achieve a reduction in undesirable behavior. Punishment will actually increase the behavior. The individual who is punished will become more rebellious, fearful and sneaky. There are some severe situations in which punishment is used to extinguish a behavior. The use of punishment must be reviewed by other professionals to determine the effectiveness of the punishment and the safety of a plan that is put in place.

Overseeing the Family Court System

The children who are exposed to court and legal trauma are developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. They have been exposed to a war and punishment. The children are left in a state of hopeless despair, fear and victimhood. There is no committee of professionals who oversee the effect of the Family Court decisions on families and children.

I honor the courage and strength of the judge’s daughter for exposing his abuse to the nation. I feel inspired by this brave young girl’s courage and write about this very controversial topic to inspire our nation to band together to write letters and support each other as we attempt to change this ignorant archaic system used in our courts.

One person will not be able to change this system. It is time to band together and develop a plan to insist that the judges no longer have the only authority to make decisions for families. We must also insist that psychologists who depend on the court for fees are not allowed to diagnose a traumatized parent as a personality disordered parent. It takes a trauma specialist to diagnose this disorder and protective parents are often diagnosed with personality disorders. This has become a major epidemic in the American judicial system, an epidemic that has serious legal, health and financial consequences to our nation. We need to demand committees of independent professionals be involved in Family Court decisions.


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83 Comments on "RESOURCES PERSPECTIVES: Judges are practicing mental health without a license"

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Rebecca ~

Thank you, thank you, thank you, for this IMPORTANT article for all of us that have had, or are currently having to deal with Family/Juvenile Court cases.

What I found most helpful and informative is your observations under “Practicing Mental Health without a License” AND “Judges use of defense mechanisms to insulate themselves against protective parents” Finally some insight into why they just don’t get it and how do they sleep at night.

Just yesterday, I read an article that speaks directly to this problem. A four year old child, split custody between an unmarried mother and father. Father discovers little girl is being physically abused by mother and sexually abused by mother’s new boyfriend. Social Services investigates and finds there IS physical and sexual abuse by mom and boyfriend. Father goes to Domestic Relations Court and obtains an Order of Protection banning the mom from seeing child. He does not allow mom to see child for two months. Mom goes to Juvenile Court and Magistrate refuses to hear any evidence and refuses to grant an emergency hearing for custody by father. Magistrate charges the father with contempt for violating the custody agreement in effect in Juvenile Court.

In my state, and in MANY states, an Order of Protection from a Domestic Relations Court (who has heard evidence) DOES NOT give a parent the right to violate a Juvenile Court custody agreement. This Magistrate can, at their discretion, hear evidence but is not required under law to do so. This Magistrate choose not to and the child was ordered to spend three days a week with psysically and sexually abusive parent. Again, HOW DO THEY SLEEP AT NIGHT.

The problem I see and have personally run into with trying to change the system is that the everyday Joe Public does not have any idea anything like this is going on and when they become aware of just one case like the one I wrote about they think it is an isolated incident that fell through the cracks. People just don’t seem to care. I wrote recently that maybe we should put our children on the endangered species list and then we could get the support they so desperately need.

I think your idea of committees of independent professionals becoming involved is a great one. I would like to add that EVERYONE, including forensic psychologists that do testing and GALS who have great amount of influence and almost no guidelines be required to take comprehensive training in the research you have quoted.

Please suggest how we can band together and what we can do because as a 64 year old grandmother, adoptive mother, custodial grandmother, former foster mother, social services retired worker I frankly CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE. I need help. Sometimes, even on Lovefraud, the articles on child abuse and neglect receive far less comments and concern than some of the other topics. That does not mean the other topics are not as important, it only means our children are our future and they cannot speak for themselves, we must do it for them.

Rebecca,

I agree 110% with your assessment of the problem with the judges practicing mental health without a license….and unfortunately many of the “mental health professionals” that are being PAID BY THE PARENTS ON THE ORDER OF THE JUDGES” are also NOT competent either, but are simply using the “jobs” as CASH COWS and milking the nurturing parent who is already spending everything they have to fight the abusive parent.

We have a blogger here, MiLo who has custody of her grandson, and the GAL recommended that the child who has been with MiLo for 10 of his 12 years be put into foster care so he could “bond with” his drug addict, neglectful and mother. This is also a special needs child as well. This is just ONE example of what MiLo and her husband have had to endure to protect this child from his mother (their daughter) over the years.

There is a group in California called the California Protective Parents group that works toward educating people and the legal system and keeps a “judge watch” on the various family court judges that are outrageous (like this man that beat his daughter) and they had a Mother’s Day march in DC.

Rebecca I share your frustration and I too have to not trigger myself with the articles here on LoveFraud (I couldn’t watch the video of the girl being beaten) because I feel so helpless.

I think you are right, Joe Public doesn’t know, and is more concerned right now in getting or keeping their job as well as keeping their mortgage paid, and if something doesn’t directly effect Joe, then he/she is unlikely to be very concerned. I think everyone, including Joe Public can be over loaded with disasters going on in the world.

There are all kinds of “good causes” that clamor and cry out for the attention of and funding from Jo/e Public from the Feed the Hungry, to the Race for the Cure, to Wounded Warriors, political parties, churches, Christmas for their own kids, educating their own kids, abortion debates, the War against Terror, domestic violence shelters, drug rehab, homelessness, birth defects, and so on…the list is endless and none of us can give to every cause, either emotionally or financially and the competition for Jo/e’s attention is huge, but that doesn’t mean we don’t need to DO anything and throw up our hands and quit. It just means that we need to focus our energies in a directed way in which to get the message SIMPLE enough that it is easily understandable.

One of the things my attorney that I hired to represent me in the hearing AGAINST my psychopathic son’s parole hearing is that the “parole board is very busy, and they have a very short attention span” so I have to keep my message concise and precise to them. (even then I sent a packet with over 100 pages!) and it worked that time with that one small group!

Maybe a brainstorming of ideas would present some ideas aobut a direction. Recruiting some attorneys that work in family law to the cause, social workers, mental health professionals and parents who have been through the mill….then a web site for a national group,, and some help for forming state and local groups. I’ll throw my hat in the ring (I’m retired too!)

Here’s a quote from an article about the judge:

In a court judgement last October, Judge Adams said that a child’s statements ‘amounted to no evidence’ despite the fact the child’s words had been confirmed by third party witnesses and recorded on video several times.

“The young person had also been interviewed by a child psychologist who believed the child.

Judge Adams also agreed with a lawyer who claimed all children are ‘fantasisers’ and their testimony should just be ignored.”

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2057419/Judge-William-Adams-beat-disabled-daughter-Hillary-video-WONT-charged.html#ixzz1ckr8czmh

Hopefully some of his past decisions may be reviewed and over turned where appropriate!

Holy Crap!

I can only hope that this judge will not only get what he justly deserves, but also that some (if not all) of what he has handed down to others shall fall on him as a result of Karma coming back around to him as well…

That’s about as nicely as I can put it. Beating a child with a belt? One with CP nonetheless? Despicable low life piece of sewage scum, doesn’t even come close to describing him. He’s lucky I am not the childs mother. One of us might be in jail, the other one in the ground and the little Princess would be staying with grandma for a while…

When beatings like this occurred in my upbringing, I am telling you that by aged 16, you don’t cry anymore. You know you just have to endure. You know it’s not about you, it’s about the abusers need to vent.

But I do attribute such abuse as creating a blind spot in me, that discerning good people and bad was hard for me b/c if what they did to me was LESS than the abuse of childhood, it felt like love. At least it did with my husband, and didn’t feel “bad” until the abuse was worse than those beatings.

I will also say, the pain of beatings was bad but my rage comes from the fury of being trapped and beaten and that I could do NOTHING about it b/c OTHERS had decided it was OKAY. So FFFFF all these people who condon, excuse, blame ME for objecting to being someone’s object of relieving their flustration and anger.

ALSO, Know that I NEVER did this to my child for the same reason. I NEVER wanted her to feel she was a THING to be abused at whim. So that crap that poor guy was just doing what was done to him is JUST THAT. CRAP. An excuse. NO it’s NOT an excuse. It was a CHOICE.

Nope, they already said they will not do anything with this judge because the statute of limitations is up.

Besides the obvious revulsion I feel toward this waste of oxygen, there is an interesting observation to be made about this man.

When I see him beating his daughter and telling her that she doesn’t deserve to live in the house, etc… I become aware of various aspects of his disordered thinking which are the hallmarks of the cluster b PD’s, if not sociopathy itself.

First, he is using black and white thinking. Although his daughter is a music prodigy who has overcome great odds (the idealization phase), he sees her as unfit and undeserving of even having a roof over her head (the devalue phase) because she downloaded something illegally. Can we say “borderline”?

Another thing I see is the typical spath thinking of seeing the glass half empty. Instead of appreciating that he HAS a wonderful and amazing daughter, he can only focus on the aspects which don’t meet his standards. That is the classic attitude of ingratitude that I’ve seen in ALL spaths. They ALL have this attitude. That’s why you can give them a hand and they’ll take your arm. You can never do enough or be good enough toward them.

Then there is the obvious sense of entitlement. His complete disrespect of his daughter’s physical boundaries and disrespect of her dignity as a human being. He feels completely entitled to beat her into submission.

The need to dominate doesn’t even need to be mentioned, all spaths have that.

Lastly and most glaringly is his lack of empathy when she begs for him to stop. She has a disability which affects her motor skills and balance. You can see it in the video as she walks toward the camera to turn it off. You can see it in her stance. She is truly disabled because she doesn’t have the coordination to KICK HIM IN THE BALLS AND MAKE SURE IT CONNECTS.

Anyway, I find it very useful to analyze behavior based on abstract concepts which define the PD’s. Often times we can doubt our gut reaction. People rationalize the behavior, calling it “losing my temper” or “discipline” or whatever. But when you analyze a person’s behavior with what we know about cluster b’s, you can clearly see what you are observing is a disordered PD. Once you know the pattern, you can predict future behavior.

I predict he will abuse his new girlfriend. Spaths never learn.

I thought Adams was a judge in Arkansas, not Texas.

If it’s Texas, that explains a lot. I used to live in Texas.

I used to attend a 12-step group there. I am sworn to secrecy as to the name of the person and her family who spoke one day, but she claimed to be a member of a family that is the source of the name of a Texas county, a kind of well known one for bizarre behavior among its legal and law enforcement officials. I’ll call her Rachelle, which isn’t even her first name.

Rachelle recounted for us a horrendous history of sociopathic, drunken, incestuous, violent behavior in her family. She ended by telling us that several members of the family went on to careers in law enforcement and the court system, as well as political posts as far as statewide, but mostly in their home county.

These kind of people resonate with voters in Texas, because the voters themselves are adult children of such people. They appear “fatherly” and act the part of judge or sheriff quite well.

It’s not limited to Texas, of course, but I noted a creepy feeling around some of the public officials there. A lot of 12-step groups, a lot of stories, in the major cities of that state.

I sometimes wonder what happened to Rachelle. She seemed like an ordinary woman, not a survivor of such awful things. I suspect she’s doing fine. It took a lot of courage to describe what she described.

Oh wow, I’m starting to get chills when you talk about that glass-half-empty perception. Because that’s what’s been happening around my workplace, and I’m realizing my supervisor is like this.

I’m glad I was not able to view the video without having an account, which I don’t feel like creating. The description alone really hit close to home. This is exactly what I suffered at the hands of my stepfather from age 7 to age 15 until I finally stood up to him. It took about 6 more years to finally purge the trauma from the physical beatings out of my body. It happened very spontaneously on my first long meditation retreat. As the memory surfaced of a very bad beating, I went into rage and started screaming. I’m sure I seemed psychotic to the other meditators. Then like a bolt of electricity, it exited out my legs, and I felt more grounded.

I strongly believe that no matter how much therapy you do and how much you talk about it, the body stores the memories until you release them. I know I healed the physical abuse part of my life because I never once attracted a physically violent person into my life after that. Not once.

Sky- It’s interesting you point out the glass half empty. Mine does that with a lot of things, yet when the need arises, he tries to twist it around and nothing is ever good enough for ME instead. Supposedly I want these things or he will even ask if that’s good enough for me.

One of our discussions was that nothing is EVER good enough for him. He is never satisfied with anything. He wants something, finds the best he can afford (with whomever’s money covers it) Talks it up as the most wonderful thing to be found for about the first 3 months of ownership. Then he wants something different- usually with a bigger price tag. Price matters, not quality.

When I threw this at him, he claimed he didn’t know what I meant. I listed off the numerous examples… He asked again, because he didn’t care and wasn’t listening the first time around. The third time he asked I told him “Go to your room and figure it out!”

I also asked him when my name would hit the list? He wanted to know what he could possibly trade me in for??? Um, someone with a bigger bank account? One of the things on the list- I have never been around these before and don’t really know much about them other than what they are called. Somehow I am the one that wants that item, because it’s all about me…

Did someone forget to tell me about this? Was there a memo? Because I missed it if there was.

Stargazer,

I think you are absolutely correct. The body stores the memories, and they need to be energetically released.

The video brought up memories of my childhood with the abuse my mother regularly inflicted upon me. On CNN this morning the newscaster said, before showing the video “this is difficult to watch”. Afterwords, I thought, really? Hard to watch? What happened on that video happened every day in my house. It was normal for me. I realized that the newscasters actually meant it, and people on this site mean it. My childhood experience has permanently distorted my perception of “normal”.

The newscaster said the daughter posted the video “in hopes of reconciling” with her father. How would this help them “reconcile”? My N mother won’t speak to me any more because I did something KIND. If I posted a VIDEO of her hitting me, I can’t even begin to imagine the wrath she would unleash on me. Is the daughter getting even?

This hits so close to home, I can’t see anything clearly.

Athena

Athena,
I know what you mean. watching it has really triggered me and I can’t stop wanting, I mean REALLY wanting, to kick him in the balls.

Too many of us have experience very similar childhood abuse. The urge for revenge against your parents is tempered by the fact that they are your parents, but I fear that someone is going to really hurt that mofo and the daughter will end up feeling guilty for it.

Athena
I’m thinking the daughter thought if dad saw how bad his behavior was that he’d have remorse and treat her more appropriately.

An abused person WANTS the parent/spouse to care. They don’t want an estranged relationship, they just want the abuse to stop and the abuser to stop thinking it’s OKAY b/c it’s NOT.

Sadly, she’s only beginning to find out what his character is b/c he ain’t changing a thing. Instead he’s trashing her in order to avoid being held accountable for HIS choices. We are SO able to predict his future behavior.

I will follow this case because I’m really curious how society and the law respond to this kind of abuse. I think it’s doubly traumatic for the child when the crime is ignored by those who know about it. I hope she gets some validation from society/the legal system that what happened to her was wrong and will require some sort of therapy to recover from. I think posting it was a cry for help. I hope someone helps her.

Skylar, yes, it was definitely a trigger. I’m like, really? People think this is bad?

Katydid, wow, you make such a pointed POINT. Why is it that we can see clearly when we back up but not when we are close? You said “the abused person wants the parent/spouse to care”. You’re so right. I am 8 weeks NC, I’m very depressed, I’m sleeping all the time, I have no energy at all, and just before I read your post I was thinking, I wonder if I should drop off a present for my SPATH at Christmas so he knows I still care. WTF???? Then I read your post. He doesn’t care. What was I thinking?

Stargazer, I agree, it will be interesting to see the reaction to this. I’ll be watching it all unfold.

Athena

I read today that there will be no federal charges against this judge because no federal laws were broken.

Sounds like it’s time to make a few.

There was a TV ad on a few minutes ago about for Braxton Family Values. One woman threatened to beat somebody. That was the titillating promotion. Apparently, the producers don’t see it as illegal, dehumanizing, or even hurtful.

I cringe every time I hear these holier-than-thous justify using physical abuse, often in the name of God.

As for me, I can still see my S mother sneering in my face when she hit me (and she typically used a large wooden brush or paddle) saying that it hurt her more than it hurt me.

She finally stopped when one day, when I was starting to pass her in height meaning I was finally becoming bigger than she was, I hauled back and hit her once as hard as I could.

She was shocked. You could see on her face it was taking time for her to absorb and process what happened.

She never hit me again. I was totally sickened that I hit my mother and to this day, the thought remains revolting and nauseating. But I did what I did because I felt it was the only way that she would get the message that hitting hurts and I wanted it to stop.

I apologize for not reading all posts but when I saw this about a Judge I had to respond. We recently were in court and the Judge in our case concerning custody of two sexually abused Granddaughters dismissed the counselor they have been seeing.

Basically this Judge looks at the room and says, I have no intention of reading these affidavits. I do not know what is happening in this case and I do not want to take time to find out.

He listened to DSS who told our attorney she was going to discredit our counselor and that was done.

After that the counselor the girls have been seeing for their sexual abuse trauma for over a year is gone.

The girls are 5 and 4. It is ludicrous that a person can make this decision without knowing the facts, without caring and without doing any investigation. This Judge should be removed.

The Guardian in the case said he had never seen a hearing such as this.

Praying for good things as always. God is in control. The evil will be brought to light. It is as if it has permeated the courtroom and it is going to take a while to filter it out.

Thank you for letting me vent.
Grandma

GIS I had the exact same experience, she did stop hitting and stopped hitting my sisters which was good, but she did not stop trying to exert control in many other ways. When she gave me the cold shoulder and the silent treatment for months over my failure to adopt her religious views I left home. She never managed to learn that others have rights and it was her loss.

G1S, the sneer, yes, I remember my mother’s sneer as well. She never had to go to the gym – she just had to “sweat it out” two or three times a week by using me as her boxing routine when nobody else was home. It felt like a dirty little secret – she’d be a happy lark after a beating and I’d be sullen and miserable with bruises galore under my clothes – and the rest of my clueless family would think it was ME who had the attitude problem.

I never popped her one back, like you did. Reading your post gave me a thrill because I have fantasized about it a lot over the years, and as I’ve gotten older, I’ve even more deeply regretted not drawing the line on her abuse. After I left home at seventeen, my younger brother became the official punching bag, but eventually he threatened to punch her back and she quit.

My life would have been so much different, I think, if I’d drawn the line in my teens then waiting twenty odd years like I’ve done. I try not to regret but I do wonder.

Dear Grandma,

Thank you for continuing to fight the good fight for these children. A pox upon the judge! Jesus said that any “who offends these little ones would be better off to have millstone tied around his neck and cast into the sea” and I doubt not that that judge deserves such treatment and he will in the end receive his just due when he falls into the hands of a just God. God bless you and those children! (((hugs))))

ladies, I can completely relate to THE LOOK, the SNEER, and I think that what we have called here in many other posts “that LOOK” that the psychopaths seem to have, it is a stare or it is a sneer of utter contempt, or the look of GLEE, it has various incarnations, but is recognizable when you see it. It totally sucks the “value out of you” it demeans you. It is definitely one of the things that every psychopath I’ve ever known had in common. THE LOOK.

perniciousfamilycourts

As you can tell from my log in name, I have been trying to expose the corruption in the family courts for 3 years now. This “judge” is probably one of hundreds if not thousands of Personality Disordered Abusers that fill the ranks of the family court system! From GALs to “Therapists”/”Social Workers”, magistrates and referees, PC’s etc…… The system is the single most destructive structure in our society. IT is filled with Spaths and worse. These people have ZERO accountability, no oversight, and the freedom to abuse children and parents daily because they have no accountability. Discretion is synonymous with abuse in family court. We need to uncover the heinous behavior that is destroying the lives of tens of thousands of children and healthy fit parents every year. It is all done for money and power and dysfunctional needs of those in positions of authority who have never undergone any psychological evaluation whatsoever!!!!! As one of my sons former therapists (the Ex got him removed because he dealt with her reality as an emotional and psychological abuser) said to me, when I expressed my concerns that the GAL was a Sociopath as well……..”It takes one to know one”. He acknowledged that “many” of those who work for and operate in the Family Court System are themselves abusive/disordered personalities! We need LAWS that require EVERY potential employee who is to be involved in Child Custody or any child or parent conflict in Family Law be required to take an extensive PSychological Evaluation, and pass with flying colors!!!1 We also need to require that EVERY single interaction between a child or parent and a GAL or Social Worker be RECORDED! This is to protect the child and the fucntional/fit parent, and to protect the TRUTH. These people go about distorting and creating a truth that meets the needs of the COURT, and them personally (Money, Money, MOney), and destroy the lives of tens of thousands EVERY year, in order to meet “objectives” that allow for more Fedeeral funding of their jobs. Many of them also get paid to “Sell” supervised visitation services, and creating conflict is their goal. The LIE that they repeat ad nauseum, that they are protecting the “Best Interests of The Children”, is nothing more than a heinous abuse of their corrupt power. We also need Judicial reform! Judges cannot be above the law in any respect! They must be held accountable as any citizen. We have the single greatest “organized Crime Family” in our judiciary/Lawyer industry because they have NO INDEPENDENT OVERSIGHT! It is the proverbial Fox watching the Hen house, and they have created a cult of abuse that is far reaching and devastating to our society. It is never more CLEAR than in the family court, where the victims (Children and functional parents) are made powerless by vindictive actions and rules they created themselves to protect the money making industry that is making them all rich!!!

This Judge should be prosecuted, found guilty, and lose his job and his license to practice law. Every Judge and Lawyer in this country should be appalled and should demand it! I forget if it was Ghandi or someone else who said, “Not taking sides, remaining neutral, when there is oppression, is taking the side of the Oppressor”….or something very similar to that. We need to take action! We need to take back our sanity, we need reform and we need to PROTECT ourt children and their healthy fit fucntional parents from the abusers!

Unfortunately, too many of us sit quietly on the sidelines hoping someone else will speak up. We don’t want to sound CRAZY by saying the sky is falling. But it is.

Perniciousfamilycourts ~

I have spent almost 10 years now fighting this same battle. You are ABSOLUTELY CORRECT IN EVERYTHING YOU SAID. Unless you have personally gone through this joke of a system, you have NO IDEA the extent of the JUDICIAL ABUSE of these children and the individuals that do TRY to protect them.

In a system where there is NO ACCOUNTABILITY, speaking up just does NOTHING. We have been warned that if we even fill out the comment sheet and complain about the GAL from Hell, that we are opening ourselves up being sued by her. Do you know what a vindictive, no morals, sociopathic attorney can do to you? We would spend additional tens of thousands just fighting her.

Thanks for writing this, perniciousfamilycourt, at least here we can vent and try to get support for our cause.

@Perniciousfamilycourts

That was Elie Weisel, accepting the Nobel Peace Prize:

I remember: it happened yesterday, or eternities ago. A young Jewish boy discovered the Kingdom of Night. I remember his bewilderment, I remember his anguish. It all happened so fast. The ghetto. The deportation. The sealed cattle car. The fiery altar upon which the history of our people and the future of mankind were meant to be sacrificed.

I remember he asked his father: “Can this be true? This is the twentieth century, not the Middle Ages. Who would allow such crimes to be committed? How could the world remain silent?”

And now the boy is turning to me. “Tell me,” he asks, “what have you done with my future, what have you done with your life?” And I tell him that I have tried. That I have tried to keep memory alive, that I have tried to fight those who would forget. Because if we forget, we are guilty, we are accomplices.

And then I explain to him how naïve we were, that the world did know and remained silent. And that is why I swore never to be silent whenever wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere. When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeopardy, national borders and sensitivities become irrelevant. Wherever men and women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or political views, that place must at that moment become the center of the universe.

http://www.pbs.org/eliewiesel/nobel/index.html

@MiLo,
Re: your first comment above. I e-mailed Donna and asked her if she is OK sending you my e-mail address. If you’re interested in following up please feel free to contact me. I don’t have a lot of health or energy, but am completely behind you on this. If Donna isn’t comfortable doing this, Oxy has my e-mail address.

I’m so sorry to read about your situation, but your wise words have always provided validation for my own long-past childhood experiences, and I’m personally very glad that you post here.

Annie ~

Thank you for your kind words. I would appreciate your e-mail and follow up conversations. If Donna isn’t comfortable, I will get it from Oxy.

Again, just yesterday, in our State, I read of a little two year old killed by his father and a mother who didn’t get him medical attention after the beating. He had been in foster care since birth, social services recommended termination of custody. Parents had done nothing as far as following a case plan. The case had been in front of a juvenile court magistrate something like 39 times. GAL assigned to the case decides parents need another chance, social services doesn’t fight it, magistrate accepts GAL’s recommendation – CHILD IS DEAD 2 DAYS LATER. Everyone is shocked, how did this happen? IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. The foster parents tried to stand up for the baby they had taken care of for 2 years, NO ONE CARED.

Actually, I doubt that’s really true. It sounds like the foster parents cared. You cared. I care. It’s only the people entrusted with the safety of that poor child who didn’t care. And I have to ask why not.

That’s one of the head-shaking things I see, that even those horribly vulnerable young children who *actually have* people who want them and want to protect them – which is often so rare in our society – even in those cases the child ‘protection’ systems put themselves in between those children and those people who genuinely want them, and instead give them to those who often have told everyone they could care less. Except for the support cheques, that is.

This is so horrible. The judicial system and all of the agencies they associate with is nothing short of mind boggling! There is zero communication within the departments… Criminal v’s family law it’s just a joke. A sick horrible joke! It’s so sad it’s heartbreaking!! Jr’s dad cancelled for the third time (he gets 1 hour court supervised visitation) after 2 cancellations they ate required to close the case… Yet it’s still open. I was told I would be notified if they continue! Freaking joke! There is zero communication between departments and they don’t care. Ohh a couple violent felonies… Not our problem… Let’s keep it going.. He is such a nice guy!

Coping ~ I have been wondering where you were. So glad he cancelled for the third time, that is GREAT news. I am hoping they will get their act together on your case. Maybe, just maybe if they don’t get around to “closing the case” right now and he has even more cancellations, the judge that ordered the visitations will get the picture.

After all, the good guys have to win once in awhile. Keep your cool in the meantime.

Glad to see you.

Hi Milo,
Thank you… Haven’t been around much. It’s been a crazy couple of weeks. I’m convinced now more than ever god/ the universe whatever gives us exactly what we need. Nothing more.. Lol. Crazy couple weeks.
It is good news.. Let’s hope they close they case.
Jr. Is finally scheduled for surgery (ear tubes) next week. Poor baby has been on antiobiotics for 4-5 months. Let’s hope it works. He is such an angel..if everyone had his good disposition and love the world would be a safe and beautiful place. 🙂
Btw- he LOVES brushing his teeth.. Lol. We made a game of it.
Ohhh I guess it’s the simple things that must give us stregth.
God bless and good night.

Milo- on a sidenote- could use some advice.
This past weekend my car was destroyed… 2 broken windows, “c .nt ” painted in the side, something put into the gas tank… It cost allot of money to repair. The cops did nothing.. I know it was him. Aside from moving (which I cannot afford) what should I do?

Dear coping,

I am so glad that things are getting better in some ways, but sorry about the car—typical, and I do not doubt it is him either.

Aside from moving (which I can’t afford) what should I do?

What part of YOU HAVE TO MOVE DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND???

If you stay there your life may be in danger. This man is going to get worse not better.

A story from WWII, a Jewish man warned his neighbors about Hitler and begged them to move with him and his family out of Germany. They said “Oh, but we can’t afford to move. What would we do with the furniture?”

Well, what DID they do with the furniture when they went to the death camps? The ovens?

What CAN you afford to do? I didn’t want to leave my home either, or leave my animals behind or my furniture or my house, but I realized finally that if I didn’t leave IMMEDIATELY MY LIFE WOULD BE taken. Any man who will do this to your car will do that to your head! GET OUT WHILE THE GETTING IS POSSIBLE. Fark the furniture! Leave with the clothes on your back. The Jewish man who took his family and walked out with the clothes on their backs LIVED THROUGH WWII….THE OTHERS DIDN’T.

WHAT IS IMPORTANT? Your child’s and your lives.

Oh Wow Coping ~

I don’t know what to say. Ofcourse it was him. I would say something is going on with his missed visits and now damage to your car. Maybe they have told him that the case is being closed and he won’t be allowed to see Jr. anymore and this is either revenge or a warning. I would take it very seriously.

The cops did nothing !!!! That makes me so angry I could spit little blue beads. I would call and talk to an officer at the police station, as in assistant chief or the chief, that type of officer, someone IN CHARGE. I would voice my concerns for my safety. Didn’t you say you had an order of protection?

I’m afraid I agree with Oxy, it isn’t a matter of affording it, some things are just too serious and your safety is too important. I think others on here are much more qualified to speak on this than I am. I would check with some domestic violence centers and see what help might be available to you, financial and otherwise. Some states have programs such as address protection programs to protect women from being stalked. You might check at your state level. There might be some help.

Again, agreeing with Oxy, if he is in such a state of mind and brazen enough to do this to your car, I would put nothing past him. Your and Jrs. safety are # 1.

Please be careful and give this some serious thought. I hope others on here can help.

OMG. Thank you so much for your post. I have dealt with the same thing. This judge got angry at me when I got a protective order against my ex. She said she didn’t understand why I needed it! (I obtained it in a different court system that had a judge that was more educated on abuse).

She actually diagnosed me with passive-aggressiveness. According to my schooling as a counselor, it is unethical for anyone other than a licensed therapist to diagnose another person, and especially if they are not a client! She was way out of bounds, but apparently feels that her being a judge makes her capable of diagnosing mental disorders. (P.S. I have been in counseling with three different therapists. All 3 diagnosed me with PTSD and anxiety, but not one …and I asked… thought i had passive aggressive behavior.)

What you wrote about the protective parent and the child getting PTSD not only from their abuser but especially from the court system is true in my case. Most of my PTSD was about the courts.

And don’t get me started on that monster on TV that was beating his child. I can’t even think about it without feeling the tears coming on…..

Oh, to make that clear, it was the original judge (I believe she is a sociopath, she has the cold dead eyes and no empathy or feelings….she was too busy flirting and preening with every guy in her path, and she hated me upon sight for no damn reason), but it was the original judge that was busy diagnosing and making other errors.

Oh, and my lawyer would not even allow me to say I had PTSD in court because he said he was afraid the judge would think I was too unstable to raise my child. However, there was no problem with the anger and screaming and cussing and death threats that my ex threw at me…..

And hey, if you get anything together as far as dealing with judges making bad decisions and how to improve our current system let me know! I’m in!

In my opinion, this author has hit the nail squarely on the head, as has Hillary in outing her father, and mother. It’ll be interesting to observe the affect that HIllary’s courage and strength has in waking up our courts and in shifting our family systems.

Hi all 🙂

It’s been a while. I am still very busy with my work, which is a good thing for me and the good news is I have finally gotten my divorce! But I didn’t get my money back, which I have long given up hope on anyway.

I think some of you know that I am from Asia, thus taking a beating since I was a kid is infact quite normal to me. Even though I do not think that I was a naughty child at all, I remembered going to school with bloody cane marks all over my body. My schoolmates and teachers was concerned. Honestly, I don’t even remember what I did wrong but I was very embarrassed. My dad thinks my mum over did it. But dad is hardly around coz of business. I remembered kneeling down, and holding a pail of water above our heads too, just because we climbed some trees.

Even in school, teachers would hit our heads or smack our hands with rulers as punishment too.

Those happens before I went to high school, after that, my mum never hit me again. But I always feel abit unbalance and unloved, because my brother does not have to do house chores, and he gets everything. Things got better between my parents and me, after I was sent overseas to study and work.

Even with that kind of upbringing, I still find the video hard to watch too. I am glad my mother now spoils my two little nieces to no end. She would often told my sister off if she deem my sister too hard on my 3 yrs old niece too.

I guess I am heal now that I know what she did, was out of love. I also understand that Asian is just not good at expressing love or encouragement. I also learnt how mistreated she was by her own mother and her mother in law, and bullied by my dad’s siblings too. But I felt that I might have run to the wrong type of love, because I didn’t feel loved at home then.

I guess my mum will never understand the scars on my body disappeared when my skin healed, but the emotional scars never quite heal till now. I am a stronger person now. I wish the same for everyone of you too. Stay strong 🙂

Nolife,
you have described my mother. She had a “favorite” child. She stopped beating us when we were bigger than she was. She is the sweetest granny to her grandkids, and she is mostly quite loving to everyone – now.

It’s just a different mask. They use whatever methods of control they can get away with. Watch for other red flags of narcissism and manipulation. Tigers don’t change their stripes, they just camoflauge themselves.

Dear Nolife,

I am glad that you have your divorce now and are doing better. There are somethings that are “acceptable” in some cultures that are not acceptable in western culture. For example multiple wives are acceptable in some cultures and in ours not, or sex outside of marriage is not at least “openly” acceptable, though of course it IS DONE, and a high percentage of men and women cheat on their spouses.

You deserve to be treated with dignity not abuse, either emotional or physical. STAND UP for that and never again allow anyone to treat you with abuse of any kind. God bless.

Hi Skylar,

She has changed, probably because the rest of the kids have their own families, and I am the only one that drives her around, take her go shopping/dinner, even out traveling etc. She is very happy in her gardening, and taking part in charity works too. I know it wasn’t right for her to vent on me, but at least my siblings was not treated the same. I have forgiven her.

Dear Ox Drover,

Yes, I actually grow stronger after attending Uni in the US. I learnt to stand up for myself and I know that I do not need my mum/ex to validate my existance/value. No matter what culture, cruelty and abuse of any sort should never be deem acceptable.

I also know now, that to be capable of loving others, I have to be capable of loving myself first.

Lastly, it’s a comfort to have you guys in this world. It is a better place now, so please stay as long as possible 🙂

Love

I see no one has posted here in a while, but this is a topic I think has to stay in the spotlight. The victimization of protective parents and children, even here in Canada is absolutely leudacrist!
Perniciousfamilycourts above describes it perfectly in an above post.

Does anyone know if any groups or committees have since been formed? Donna?
Do you know anything of this?
Has anyone considered a private members bill? I don’t know much about the subject. I guess I’m just reaching for something, anything. Some way to get the ball rolling. Here in Canada, there is alot of awareness on the subject of out dysfunctional judicial system. You cannot mention the subject to any canadian without them telling you a heart breaking story about someone they know, or themselves, being raped by our family courts… And then people have the nerve to ask,
“What’s wrong with kids today??” Gee!!! I wonder!!!!
I feel the biggest challenge in this isn’t so much that people don’t want to do anything to change it, it’s more that no one knows what to do about it.
But, if we can figure out some small way to get the ball rolling, and somehow raise public awareness of said ball rolling, the snowball effect will be enormous.
Donna, I have a few other ideas that I would like to bounce off you aswell, that I will tell you in a personal email.

On a side note, there is a little story I’d like to share. I’ve been meaning to share this for a while but kept forgetting. The above posts reminded me.
A couple of years ago, I met my ex’s brother’s gf for the first time. They are married now, and expecting their first baby in for months. I now firmly believe she is a psychopath. When I met her, I had no idea what that even was. Just the hollywood version. Lol. But that night, after working about 14 days strait of 12 plus hour days, was sitting in the lazy boy, reclined, relaxing, eyes closed… And then I got this eerie feeling like I was being watched, more like I was being looked through, if that makes sense. So I opened my eyes, just slightly at first, and what I saw, startled me a little, causing me to open my eyes completely to be sure of what I saw. There was the gf, standing in front of me, starting, just like I had felt, right through me. But what really startled me was the look I saw in her eyes. It was the emptiest darkest most evil thing… It was like staring into an evil black hole. It scared me, and gave me chills in a way I’ve never felt before, or since. It only lasted a second. It was she had taken off the mask, thinking I wouldn’t see because I was sleeping. After, she went back to being the sweet caring girl she had been before. But what I saw, that look, haunted me for a long time. But I kept quiet. (so no one would think I was crazy! Lol.) That is, at least until my then fiancee (the path who drove me here) said to me that she had a very bad feeling about this girl. And I told her about what happened. Ironic really.
But it wasn’t until about two weeks ago that I found out about some things that she had done to betray me, and I started looking back at past behavior, looking for why she had done this. At this time, I had totally forgotten about the look. But then all of the red flags I had over looked started jumping out at me. I thought, could it be? And then I remembered the look from years before. And that’s when it really hit me. But wow, even now, anytime that memory of her stare comes to mind, it makes the hair on my neck stand on end. So creepy.
Anyway, curious if anyone else has ever caught a glimpse of this look in their spath’s eyes. ??

I would also like to suggest, if you have not yet watched the video, don’t. I cried my eyes out and will be mad as hell for probably days. Oh, to have ten minutes alone with this judge…
Such a shame. My prayers are with the family.
Has anyone heard any update in this case?

W8ting, it’s recognized by the “experts” as “The Predatory Stare.” Lights are on, but nobody’s home. It’s like looking into windows on an abyss – there’s NOTHING behind the windows. In the book/movie, “Jaws,” Captain Quinn talks about the appearance of a shark’s eyes and how empty and souless they appear, “Like a doll’s eyes,” is how he described it.

It’s odd that you mention this, because the gf of the homeowner where I’m staying has the same “stare.” I’ll be speaking, and she’ll be looking directly into my eyes, but there is absolutely NO feedback, at all. VERY creepy.

Truthspeak,
I too have seen that blank stare in my exspath. This was something different. It was like a sense of being in the presence of evil. She scares me. I feel so sorry for her husband. I’ve seen him go from an energetic, positive, outgoing individual, to barely existing. He has not yet even allowed himself to take notice. She has sucked all the life out of him, and their child isn’t even born yet. They just got married in December/11. It’s so sad to watch someone else get destroyed the way I’ve been, and all I can do is sit back and watch. And be there to help him up when he gets discarded.

Texas Judge Who Beat His Daughter With A Belt To Be Reinstated

Judge William Adams has been on paid leave since last November, when a video of him beating his 16-year-old daughter with a belt was uploaded to YouTube. He is now being reinstated to the bench

http://www.buzzfeed.com/ryanhatesthis/texas-judge-who-beat-his-daughter-with-a-belt-to-b

Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader

You know my P son is in prison in Texas for murdering a girl. I am begging the parole board to keep him in prison….hell, they may not only let him out, they may put him on the family court bench.

Don’t you just love this? His punishment was a year’s paid vacation.

Oxy, what punishment do you think they’ll give your P son? 70 virgins to kill?

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