Those abused by family members and romantic partners seek information on this site trying to understand the personality of their abuser. They wonder is he/she a sociopath? Does a personality disorder explain why this happened to me?
The answers to these questions are often hard to come by. Experts require “proof” of a set of personality traits before diagnosing someone with a disorder. Yet in my opinion, we have an obligation to the victims of abuse to explain to them that abusers are not “normal” people who are simply misguided in their attempts to “help” others. Abuse is often perpetrated by sociopaths under the guise of “helping.”
This week a young lady 23-year-old Hillary Adams, posted a video on Youtube of her abuser perpetrating violence against her. When you watch the video keep in mind that the abuser is also a judge. The video is very difficult to watch but it is a gift because it allows us to see firsthand the abuser’s pathos.
Please watch the video and then continue reading.
Consider whether you also see what I see here:
1. A perpetrator that enjoyed hurting another with a victim that had been in this roll before.
2. Motivated by the orgasm of power, perpetrator actually used the word submission.
3. There were many sexual overtones, the word f*** was repeated over and over; “get on the bed”; “bend over the bed”; “roll over”; “I never got my licking on her”; “I’m going to wear your F****** a** off with this belt”.
4. Perpetrator wanted to give her a “glass of water” so he could continue to perpetrate. When the BTK killer described this behavior, I coined it the glass of water phenomenon. Shows the appearance of empathy, but its goal is to get the victim to recover enough to be abused further.
5. “You don’t deserve to be in this house” no she doesn’t this much is true.
Do you agree with me that this should be prosecuted as a sex offense? Isn’t that justified by the words the body part and the setting?
What more do we need to see or know to understand this man’s disorder?
Mother has since divorced him, both mother and daughter spoke exclusively with Matt Lauer on TODAY Thursday about the furor the video has caused and the reasons for posting it seven years after it was taken.
I just watched this.
Most chilling line:
“Take it . . . like a grown woman.” This was her mother speaking about what a “grown woman” does.
This was a judge. No wonder this country is messed up, supports torture, hides in shame rather than protest widespread fraud, looks the other way from abuse of authority.
I agree, Donna, that this is a SEX crime….”rape” even with intercourse is not about “sex” it is about CONTROL and if this man is not about control and sexual sadism I do not know what is about sexual sadism or control.
I am somewhat confused about why the mother and daughter finally DID release this video, actually, with the POWER the man has I am surprised that they EVER released it. I am glad that they did, but the whole thing is so heart breaking.
Yes, we have a duty to expose psychopaths for what they are, to educate others. I can’t remember who said it, but the bottom line is “all it takes for evil to continue is for good people to do nothing.”
I remember reading a story recently about a Jewish woman whose father took his family sneaked out of the country what what little he could carry in his pocked and moved his family to Canada before Hitler started the killing, he kept telling his neighbors over and over that they were in danger, but their responses were disbelief and “but what would we do with the furniture.” The disbelief and the delay cost them their lives, while the man and his family survived WWII.
Every day that passes there is some wife or husband or child who is killed because either they don’t realize the danger they are in, or they keep up a malignant hope that the abuser will stop abusing. I think this man was and is quite capable of murdering his victims in a fit of rage.
Like the Jewish families in Germany, I saw the rage and the violence directed toward me, but I refused for so long to believe that it would have been fatal. It was only when thanks to my friend for finding and sending me the rap sheet off the sex offender web site in Texas that clued me in to the fact that the Trojan Horse psychopath was what he was, and I decided that I had to flee, even if they burned my house down while I was gone. I had to realize that my life was more important than the furniture.
I hope this man goes to prison for a long time and that these women coming out encourages others to come forward, or to secretly make the videos that will prove the abuse is REAL.
God bless all those who are secretly being abused by such “upright” parents.
Oxy – Dr. Leedom wrote the article.
The mother goes on to say that since her divorce 4 years ago he has not stopped harrassing her. She went NC and now he is moving toward taking custody of the younger daughter. I believe this is the reason they have released the video now. There is no way he’ll get custody of any child after that video.
Sorry, Donna, didn’t even look at who wrote it, THANKS!!!!
Good point, Sky, and I hope he goes to prison as well…sometimes the psychopaths push us to the brink and when in the past we have been more passive to “avoid a fight” with them, they push us so hard we have to TAKE A STAND and FIGHT BACK….I’ve been to that brink, and I’m learning that I have what it takes to stand up if I need to, and if it is important.
Sometimes it is “the better part of valor” to just not make a ruckus over a tempest in a tea pot when someone acts like an arse, but if they just KEEP ON KEEPING ON AND PUSH YOU INTO A CORNER, there comes a time when you have to fight back with every weapon you have…and I think that is what happened with this mother. I’m glad to see it! TOWANDA for her!
Oxy,
in the vid, they said that the statute of limitations was 5 years and the video is 7 years old. Also, the moron is not up for re-election for another 3 years so he will probably get re-elected when it’s all forgotten.
Meanwhile, he is on leave from the bench and when he gets back he will not be able to rule on any cases involving kids until further notice.
Donna, I had sent you the news story about this. I don’t know if you saw it in your inbox. Some of the things this man said when questioned of course make it more sick. He claims he thinks he did nothing wrong. His daughter says that she released this because she wants him to get help and stop harassing her. I think it’s sad that she believes she should still care about this sick man and want him to get help. This is an example of a victim who still thinks that “love” will save the situation. That’s a hard video to watch.
I agree. There were MAJOR sexual undertones to everything that happened. I think she was sexually violated. The language was sexually sadistic. This constant “bend over” and use of “fuck” and talking about her “ass” is pretty clear to me. Did this guy never sexually abuse her beyond this? It makes me wonder. He seems like he had it in him to rape her quite literally and maybe he took out that devious sexual frustration by being overly violent with her. Either way, I feel for her, and I feel that she was explicitly sexually violated. I do not, unfortunately, think enough people will see it this way to get him prosecuted as such in court. A lot of comments on the video and news story are people who keep saying that their parents were way worse and they endured worse torture. Sadly I am sure this is true, but it might cause too many people to respond to this as if it were “nothing major” because they have seen or lived through worse. The point is that victims need to see that coming public will end in their favor and abusers need to learn that they won’t get off the hook for this behavior.
This is a quote from the father:
“In my mind, I haven’t done anything wrong other than discipline my child after she was caught stealing,” Adams said. “And I did lose my temper, but I’ve since apologized.”
If you want to see another video in which the father and daughter are interviewed, check this link: http://news.yahoo.com/dad-caught-video-beating-daughter-needs-help-070228201.html
Thanks for the link, Panther, but I’ll pass….the “I’ve since APOLOGIZED” makes me want to PUKE…saying “sorry” doesn’t cut it here.
I agree the daughter doesn’t get it if she wants him to “get help” but that is our “anyone can be helped” carp, the “there’s good deep down” and all that mythological carp!
I am back in court tomorrow 2pm; I feel sick. My father is here; he is 82 years old. It would seem as I have a copy of his absolute, he would even get a divorce to stop enforcement. he of course does not know this. All to avoid child maintenance; I have proof he is still with her; ‘current’, ‘ex’; how sick can this pair be??? All absolutes can be obtained in the UK for a fee. I will of course put it into court tomorrow. This spath will go to any lengths to avoid child maintenance.
I shall stay calm, I have lots of evidence; and have I have realised ..do not give a copy to the spath ..just watch them hang themselves.
Sorry if this is the wrong blog; feeling low.
Dear Movingon,
I’m not sure what a “copy of his absolute” is in US jargon….whatever it is that you have, it is good to let it come out in court and him be hung out to dry by being blind sided by evidence, not warned in advance.
Good luck and just VISUALIZE the LOVE FRAUD MOB BEHIND YOU! We are there in spirit to support you! TOWANDA!!!!