Those abused by family members and romantic partners seek information on this site trying to understand the personality of their abuser. They wonder is he/she a sociopath? Does a personality disorder explain why this happened to me?
The answers to these questions are often hard to come by. Experts require “proof” of a set of personality traits before diagnosing someone with a disorder. Yet in my opinion, we have an obligation to the victims of abuse to explain to them that abusers are not “normal” people who are simply misguided in their attempts to “help” others. Abuse is often perpetrated by sociopaths under the guise of “helping.”
This week a young lady 23-year-old Hillary Adams, posted a video on Youtube of her abuser perpetrating violence against her. When you watch the video keep in mind that the abuser is also a judge. The video is very difficult to watch but it is a gift because it allows us to see firsthand the abuser’s pathos.
Please watch the video and then continue reading.
Consider whether you also see what I see here:
1. A perpetrator that enjoyed hurting another with a victim that had been in this roll before.
2. Motivated by the orgasm of power, perpetrator actually used the word submission.
3. There were many sexual overtones, the word f*** was repeated over and over; “get on the bed”; “bend over the bed”; “roll over”; “I never got my licking on her”; “I’m going to wear your F****** a** off with this belt”.
4. Perpetrator wanted to give her a “glass of water” so he could continue to perpetrate. When the BTK killer described this behavior, I coined it the glass of water phenomenon. Shows the appearance of empathy, but its goal is to get the victim to recover enough to be abused further.
5. “You don’t deserve to be in this house” no she doesn’t this much is true.
Do you agree with me that this should be prosecuted as a sex offense? Isn’t that justified by the words the body part and the setting?
What more do we need to see or know to understand this man’s disorder?
Mother has since divorced him, both mother and daughter spoke exclusively with Matt Lauer on TODAY Thursday about the furor the video has caused and the reasons for posting it seven years after it was taken.
Oxy thanks, it is simply ridiculous that I keep having to see this revolting, fat, navy rinse tosser in court; it tried to rape me (arrested and charged), it has abused my children; its sick, sick, sick. I simply want it to pay up, shut up and f**k off ..rant over.
It married some hag in August 2009 (who I caught having my house valued ..I put it out the trade entrance ..she was running), she divorced the idiot off friends reunited dot com on 6th Jan 2011, only because these nutters thought the court would get her to pay his debts. Court hearing 20th Jan 2011, still wearing wedding ring; odd that!
Perhaps the tart, divorced it due to the bailiffs she assaulted, police, 3 hours no sign of tosser. I really give up; he is still taking her kids on holiday (twitter ..not a good thing …) and living in a flat around the corner. Her daughter (3 kids differing men) one particularly stupid one a omfg_evie twitters away ‘her mother is stupid’, her ‘grandmother thick’ and more interestingly the spath’s bank statements coincide with her banal twitter locations. Omfg_evie snart is going to be a forensic scientist ..lol; my solicitor has been recording them for over 2 years ..the spath has not a clue ..This omfg_evie is foul mouthed ..if that was my daughter I would be utterly ashamed. Omfg_evie twittered ‘only wankers go to Oxford’, 2 days after he knew my daughter had gained a place ..how sad is that ..jealously beyond belief.
I really hope tomorrow I get Judge Julie ..I am hopeful ..application 8th August, court order 10th August. I did tell the judge ‘we will be back’ her response ‘I have no doubt’. Dick head had fled with his 50k debt and his payment plans to be put into court. High court writ stayed .. bailiffs back anytime I press the button.
Spaths are revolting; his latest ‘defence’ is my wonderful son cannot possibly read Classics at Cambridge ..because wait for it …’his mother (me) can’t afford it!’ ..an interesting line ..I could write a book! Like my son who received an email from his now ex wife mother of omfg_evie snart wishing him all ills but ended with ‘your father and I never want to see or hear from you ever gain, good luck’; sickos ..
On a similiar vein his mother dearest is a probate fraudster ..recently found out, a criminal offence ..she hit me in my own home ..lets see how clever she is ..they are all simply revolting spaths. I simply do not care, I have managed some justice, I will not give up.
Thank you soooo much for your support, my ‘problems’ are trivial I know ..but I just get pissed off; I just wish he would die; its of no use, ugly in form and mind ..jealous of everyone who is ‘normal’ ..and loving and kind ..as I ‘used’ to be ..
(((hugs ..I try not to be bitter ..I sometimes fail)))
Sorry to go on, love and hugs to everyone ..
I could not watch this video because it is too much of a trigger for me. I was victimized this way by my mother. She would beat me with a huge leather strap that the barbers would use to sharpen their razors. She would purposefully hit me with the metal part of the strap to inflict the greatest amount of pain. She would make me pull down my pants and lay on her bed. Talk about sexually sadistic. You know what my offense usually was…Not putting a dish in the dishwasher, getting a D on a report card, not putting a barrette in my hair the correct way and the worst reason of all, for wetting the bed because I was too afraid of the dark to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. She once even left a welt mark on my back in the shape of the belt with the fastening holes indentations and all. My sister held the belt up to my back and, sure enough, a perfect match. We could have been CSI. LOL
Sad thing is, this is how she was raised. (And how SO MANY others are raised). My mother still defends her mother and thinks that it is perfectly acceptable to beat children. My mom called them “lickins”
I can’t tell you how tired I am of hearing people defend parents of the 70’s and earlier by saying, “That’s just what was done back then.” Like that is in any way a good excuse for abusing a child. Oh, and the other line that makes me chuckle is, “Hey I got beat and I turned out O.K.!” Well, just by saying that means that you DID NOT turn out O.K.
The father in this article, unfortunately, will not face prosecution because it is past the 5 year statute of limitation. Now, sexual abuse is another story. I really hope someone can speak with the daughter (and mother) and convince them this is the avenue they need to take.
My stomach turns and I am so enraged when I hear of yet another parent using the excuse that they have the “RIGHT” to discipline their child how they see fit. No ASSHOLES, you don’t own your child. They are not your property and one day society will have to deal with the fallout of your shitty parenting.
I hope he rots in hell.
Forgot, he claimed he was divorced ..as we all know spaths lie, so I made an application, and I was somewhat surprised he was actually divorced again by the other spath a Sarah Toth; a woman he downloaded off the internet dating site, friends reunited dot com.
So the entire marriage lasted 15 month at a cost of 60k according to to the spath married to a nutter off the internet. The judge helpfully recorded in her judgement all his lies, which she knew to be lies ..including the real vulgarity of one Brian Hughes, ‘Mr Hughes says under evidence the children are not his priority! They are nontheless the courts’. she even put in the exclamation mark (it doesn’t care). It is of course a total twat, he called the judge ‘just a woman, what do you know about the law’ another Judge Watson a ‘liar’ ..talk about thick!!
All divorces are a matter of public record in the UK, and anyone can get a copy of the absolute dissolving the marriage, which I did. I was expecting it to be a lie.
I truly give up ..all it has to do is pay child maintenance, stop taking me to court and get lost!! So much for their wedding vows ..and yes they are both delusional and think the world is interested in them ..it will even get a divorce, move into a flat to avoid child maintenance ..sad, loser all its life!
It couldn’t pay child maintenance in January 2011 because it’s nephew a Joe Hughes (don’t ever remember spath seeing him in 15 years) had ‘allegedly’ thrown himself off the Menai Bridge. Omfg_evie was worried the news years eve party was going ahead or not due to this ‘boring incident’. Brian Hughes couldn’t pay child maintenance that month because he was ‘distracted’.
They are simply sick weirdos, the lot of them ..karma
the sisterhood:
a little inside info for ya…the statute of limitations for this offense is TEN years and begins when the victim turns 18.
Whether they prosecute is all up to her. Her choice.
Oh, thanks, KatyDid. I was just going by what Matt Lauer reported as to what the law states in Texas for this case. Perhaps he got it wrong. If that is the case, I really do hope they prosecute the case.
I think the statute of limitations may be different in different states, but It should not be until the person is 18 before it even starts running, what what do I know? LOL I’m not a JUDGE?
This man may “think” he has not done anything wrong, and since he didn’t do anything wrong, wonder why he “apologized?” Anyway, whatever he says and whatever the LAW is, he is “ruined” as far as getting a job, keeping his current job, or holding his head up in public.
These people in “high positions” for the most part get dumped by the “higher ups” that they so love to impress….but some have absolutely no shame, not even enough to slither off into the weeds and hide, Bill Clinton for one. John Edwards for another.
And…
just in case you still had a modicum of faith in our legal system:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/ex-judge-donald-thompson-busted-penis-pump-trials-pension-cut-article-1.968325
Judge busted for using a penis pump during trials loses his pension.
As you can imagine, this is a big part of Houston’s discussion.
This particular kind of assault charges are ONLY brought by the victim. The way the statute of limitations was explained was that children must be allowed to still render legal action when they reach the age of maturity and NOT have that right taken from them. Therefore the clock starts when they turn 18 and not when the offense starts. It makes sense. If a child was injured at age 2, and the 10 years started immediately, then they’d have to make that decision by the age of 12. That’s pretty heavy stuff for such a young age. Still hard at 23, but at least she isn’t dependent on him. I do think she has the best justice possible, that she shined the light of truth on him and that others saw him without any clothes. That’s the best justice there is. She unmasked him. Ask me if I feel a wee bit of joy and vindication that this ONE a** was exposed.
Skylar. Faith in the legal system? HA! What fools we would be!! I don’t believe in the legal system at all. I believe VERY FEW people have legal justice. It’s a crapshoot whether a person’s case is prosecuted at all, the DA decides and it’s usually based on whether it helps the DA’s career. Our best hope is to never have a case in the legal system at all. IMHO
I’m back to harp on this prick in this story again. Couple of things:
1. If this had been footage of a man beating his dog that way, there would be MASS public outrage.
2. A MESSAGE TO ALL ABUSERS OUT THERE: The INTERNET has arrived, equipped with WEBCAM and you are all so FUCKED!!!!! I hope all abusers hear this LOUD and CLEAR the next time they pick up a weapon.
And I hope all victims get REALLY familiar with the wonders of technology. The dark ages may finally be seeing the light of day!
This guy reminds me of my father…which is likely why I am taking up such fists with this story. I wish I knew where this woman lived so I could send her flowers. And the dad so I could send him a can of whoop-ass.
Judge Adams released a statement – blaming the daughter for everything – typical sociopathic smear campaign.
Here’s the news story:
http://www.caller.com/news/2011/nov/03/judge-william-adams-speaks-about-about-belt-lashin/
The actual statement:
http://web.caller.com/2011/pdf/Judge-Adams-statement.pdf