Joe Paterno, the legendary Penn State football coach, has died.
I can’t help but wonder if the travesty of the last few months, with his former assistant coach, Jerry Sandusky, being charged with sexually molesting 10 young boys over 15 years, killed him.
I’m not an alumna of Penn State. (I am, however, an alumna of Syracuse University, with its own scandal of an assistant basketball coach allegedly molesting boys.) Still, I hate to see the storied career of Joe Paterno forever blackened by the malevolent behavior of one man, if that proves to be the case.
Some people argue that Paterno had to know what was going on. They argue that Paterno was so concerned about his legacy, the reputation of his football program and Penn State University, that he was willing to turn a blind eye to the behavior of Jerry Sandusky.
I’m not so sure.
Since the scandal broke in November, Joe Paterno has given only one interview, to Sally Jenkins of the Washington Post. The story was published on January 14, 2012. It characterizes Joe Paterno as unable to comprehend what Sandusky may have done, because it was simply too foreign to the way Paterno himself lived his life. Jenkins writes:
He reiterated that McQueary was unclear with him about the nature of what he saw and added that even if McQueary had been more graphic, he’s not sure he would have comprehended it.
“You know, he didn’t want to get specific,” Paterno said. “And to be frank with you I don’t know that it would have done any good, because I never heard of, of, rape and a man. So I just did what I thought was best. I talked to people that I thought would be, if there was a problem, that would be following up on it.”
Is it possible to be that unaware of the existence of evil? Yes, it is, and we all know it.
While I was uninitiated, meaning, before my direct, personal encounter with a social predator, I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would cross paths with evil. I didn’t know that someone who appeared to be so loving and caring could have a hidden agenda. I lived a life of integrity, and I believed that the people who were part of my life were like me.
But, some may argue, sex abuse of children has been in the news for years—look at the stories about the Catholic Church. Well, my cousin was abused by priests. He received financial compensation many years ago—it was probably one of the first cases to be settled. I heard people in my family talking about it. Still, I did not comprehend what he must have experienced.
I didn’t understand the human capacity for manipulation and evil until it happened to me.
So, yes, I can believe that Joe Paterno was clueless. He grew up in a different era, when although the sexual abuse of children probably occurred, it certainly wasn’t talked about. He was inspired by his father. He believed in education. He believed in turning troubled athletes around. His whole life was about winning with integrity.
So for Paterno to realize, at this late stage of his life, that he may have been hoodwinked by someone so close to him must have been a terrible shock. It probably didn’t cause his lung cancer. But it may have sapped Paterno’s strength to fight it.
Read Joe Paterno’s last interview, on WashingtonPost.com.
Donna, I agree with you that the stress of all this must have greatly hurt Joe’s ability to fight lung chance or even his will to live. To be blind sided at an advanced age with your entire reputation in shreds and to be fired from the college he thought he would be memorialized by must have been a terrible shock.
I also can believe that he didn’t realize what he was dealing with, or that it was even POSSIBLE for what he was being told to be “true” EVIL in any real sense. After all, he KNEW (he thought) Sandusky.
What Paterno DID though, his not believing, allowed Sandusky to go on and on with what he was doing.
Just because we don’t believe a truth, just because a truth is UNbelievable to us does not mean it is not TRUE and that it will not hurt us or others.
Look at the story I have told here recently several times, about the woman in Canada who was born in Germany and her father knew the Nazis were coming, and he told his Jewish neighbors over and over to get their kids and LEAVE GERMANY THAT THEY NAZIS WOULD KILL THEM, but the people could not believe what their friend was saying and they said to him “But what would we do with the furniture?” or “the business?” and they stayed. The woman’s father took her and her sibs and her mom and the clothes on their backs and walked out of Germany to get to Canada….but the neighbors ALL PERISHED BECAUSE THEY COULDN’T COMPREHEND SUCH EVIL BEING REAL.
Many of us have been “warned” about some or all of the psychopathic people we have been scammed in one way or another by. I remember one guy my husband and I did business with, I was warned about his man, but he had already “love bombed” us enough that I was under his spell and so was my husband….and when”the rubber met the road” he stabbed us in the back and the heirs of our other partner and stole the entire thing….we barely got out with our underwear. I told the man who had warned me, “thanks for the warning, I wish I had listened.” Shortly after skinning us and the heir of our other partner who had died in the middle of the project, the man got liver cancer (and without insurance) he used up all the money he had scammed for medical bills…Ah yes, Karma is a biatch!
I could recount other episodes in dealing with people high in Psychopathic traits that I was warned….and didn’t listen. I can also recount many times I have WARNED others and they didn’t listen. My egg donor is a prime example of people who SEE the evil and STILL DO NOT BELIEVE…or they believe the “good out weighs the bad.”
I can throw rocks at old Joe…but I will be throwing them from the balcony of my GLASS HOUSE because there are plenty of people who can throw rocks at me for my own unbelief in the face of warnings by people I should have listened to.
Whatever Joe’s part in the Sandusky scandal, and my opinion is there will never be a completely “truthful” or “factual” picture of it emerge because our legal system still doesn’t let that happen, so we may never truly know, and he is dead now, so cannot testify to a grand jury. I would predict that Sandusky will be convicted and sent to prison and there will be multimillion dollar pay outs by several agencies or schools to quite a few young men who will have proven they were molested by Sandusky, and the people who lied to the grand jury will go to prison for a shorter period of time, but we will never ever know the WHOLE TRUTH and NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH.
I am sad for the boys abused because old Joe couldn’t believe (if that was indeed the case) and I am not dismayed by how aggressive Sandusky was in his pursuit of victims. I am guessing that the number of victims (because I think even in the light of multimillion dollar pay outs) I think most of them will remain hidden and silent. I hope Sandusky and the ones who KNOWINGLY covered up for him rot in a special hot spot in hell. If Joe did that knowingly, I hope he is there in that spot waiting for them, but I will leave it up to a just God to judge him because I cannot know a man’s heart, or the WHOLE TRUTH, but I believe there is a just God who does.
No one knows what was going through Joe Paterno’s head except God. Everyone sins, some more than others obviously.
But not for a second do I believe he didn’t comprehend at any logical level that there was something wrong going on with Sandusky.
He probably thought he was doing the right thing by reporting it and letting someone else handle the problem because he had more important things to worry about, coaching a successful football team. I believe he was so consumed with his job that everything else had to be directed to the other “appropriate” authorities.
I truly believe it is that simple.
Trying to explain it so that it appears he didn’t even know or understand the evilness or seriousness of what occurred is not believable to me, sorry.
I understand how easy it is to be duped, but it was me, my feelings and emotions, my insecurities, issues, and compassion the ex spath was manipulating. It was harder in a sense to see this.
I could much more easily see someone else getting hurt than realize I was being hurt. I hope I’m explaining this right.
If he was a decent person, I can only hope that he felt great remorse before he died and that his error weighed on him heavily. I think death was certainly enough punishment for his sin. Sadly, punishment of the guilty doesn’t change the past and take away the suffering of the boys. The only good that can come out of this is that it can bring awareness. And perhaps the next time someone goes to a coach and says, “Hey, Coach so-and-so was doing some unsavory things to little boys in the shower,” that person will take it seriously and call the police. It’s all we can hope for at this point. The whole thing is such a tragedy.
Mr. Paterno was by most accounts a brilliant man, and as a successful coach he must have had at least a passing familiarity with psychology and human behavior.
Perhaps it is unfair, but I can not summon much sympathy for him, as I believe he should have known better. In a way, I agree that it might be easier to see others getting hurt than one’s self, as you can see what is happening in front of you as opposed to having an alleged loved one confusing you and taking advantage of your self doubt.
Unfair as it may be, in cases like these where someone has been told of the wrongdoing, stupidity is the only fathomable excuse to me. It is in fact the only way I have been able to forgive my family for the many things that have happened in the past, including an attempted molestation. When I was twelve or thirteen or so, a nasty filthy old man who was the father of my uncle’s evil wife tried to slide down the strap of my bra (at a thanksgiving party no less), and I got up and ran away before he succeeded. I told my family at the time, and although it caused lots of drama no one sent him to jail. Not too long ago, my family said that they didn’t fully understand what I was trying to tell them. That they thought he was just ‘annoying me’. It still doesn’t fully make sense, since my mom in particular is proud of herself for telling the evil wife (who was slandering me, as a thief and a liar and lord knows what else by the time she was done… puppy kicker? Bond villain? the Antichrist?) that whatever I may have done wrong, I was only a kid and [the evil wife]’s father was an old man who ought to know better. First of all, what a ringing endorsement of my character, and secondly, how can she say that she knew but at the same time she didn’t really know like that?
My spouse and the therapist I used to go to both said that its essentially because they are stupid. And I guess that is how I have been able to forgive them to the extent that I have, because you can’t help being stupid.
But when I see someone who is clearly not stupid, I expect a damn good excuse for them missing this kind of behavior.
Additionally, while Mr. Paterno is not the perpetrator, even Sandusky’s death may not be satisfying for the victims. I feel cheated that the nasty filthy old man did not go to jail, and was not labeled for the rest of his life for what he tried to do to me, and what I assume he must have at least tried with others.
I believe that Paterno was a narcissist but not a spath. He was duped by Sandusky because he believed what he wanted to believe. He chose to turn a blind eye and wash his hands like Pontius Pilate, while the innocents suffered. He admits that even further description might not have done any good.
“And to be frank with you I don’t know that it would have done any good, because I never heard of, of, rape and a man.”
At age 85, he’s never heard of rape and a man?
His cognitive dissonance was a form of self protection. He couldn’t bear to know that his world view was wrong, so he just decided not to. His sin, was refusing to grow up because it would have been painful.
I was speaking on the phone with a 19-year old man just a couple of days ago and I segwayed the conversation into spaths and evil. He said, “I believe that most people do things that are wrong because they just don’t see the harm they are causing…etc…”
That’s what I used to believe, when I was naive. Now I know that people do things that harm others because they CHOOSE TO. They choose to be selfish. They choose to see what makes them feel safe.
At age 19, I can see why this man is naive. At age 85, Paterno has no excuse.
Great topic, as usual.
Peace.
Sometimes NOTHING has happened to these predators to make them like they are. They choose their actions in the same way we chose our inaction, to stay and partcipate in our own vicitmization. Not every predator had some horrible history, and even if they did, they still CHOOSE their courses of action. I was abused daily during my childhood and throughout my life, I chose abusive partners.
Now that I am a mother, I CHOOSE not to abuse my daughter. Have I ever had an urge to hurt her? I’ve felt myself losing patience and have had to walk away from her for a few minutes. I’ve called a parent line for support and talked to the pediatrician and counselors for advice in disciplining and encouragement. But I know that ultimately, no matter how terrible of an upbringing I have had, acting out on my child would still be a choice I make…
I truly believe that Paterno knew far more than he admitted. It is very interesting that the worst four years of PSU football under Paterno occurred in the early 2000s, when he became aware of Sandusky’s transgressions.
Travis I have to agree with Marie that people have choices, even if they have genetics or poor parenting that make them want to do things that are considered “evil.”
For example, my mom’s brother, that I call “Uncle Monster” was an alcoholic and from a long line of alcoholics, though his father was not one, but his grandfather was and he had the genes I am sure that made him want to drink. He also had psychopathic genes and when he was drunk he became very violent—but only with those he was more powerful than, and could over power. He was, even if he was drunk, in control enough that he never tackled someone he could not whip. So he was into beating women and children, his elderly mother, etc. but he had choices and control over those choices.
Not even a large minority of people who were abused become abusers, and even those who choose to do so, have CHOICES. Even those who have the psychopathic genes, have choices about their behavior. Not many people who were sexually abused as children become abusers themselves.
I firmly believe in FREE WILL and that those adults who are not mentally incompetent or insane have choices in their behaviors and the consequences of those behaviors should fall on their shoulders. I think there is some question about when a person becomes an “adult.” I think it actually varies very widely from person to person due to a lot of issues as well as culture.
Marie ~ Good Post. Your daughter is a lucky little girl.
Hugs to you both ((()))))