Joe Paterno, the legendary Penn State football coach, has died.
I can’t help but wonder if the travesty of the last few months, with his former assistant coach, Jerry Sandusky, being charged with sexually molesting 10 young boys over 15 years, killed him.
I’m not an alumna of Penn State. (I am, however, an alumna of Syracuse University, with its own scandal of an assistant basketball coach allegedly molesting boys.) Still, I hate to see the storied career of Joe Paterno forever blackened by the malevolent behavior of one man, if that proves to be the case.
Some people argue that Paterno had to know what was going on. They argue that Paterno was so concerned about his legacy, the reputation of his football program and Penn State University, that he was willing to turn a blind eye to the behavior of Jerry Sandusky.
I’m not so sure.
Since the scandal broke in November, Joe Paterno has given only one interview, to Sally Jenkins of the Washington Post. The story was published on January 14, 2012. It characterizes Joe Paterno as unable to comprehend what Sandusky may have done, because it was simply too foreign to the way Paterno himself lived his life. Jenkins writes:
He reiterated that McQueary was unclear with him about the nature of what he saw and added that even if McQueary had been more graphic, he’s not sure he would have comprehended it.
“You know, he didn’t want to get specific,” Paterno said. “And to be frank with you I don’t know that it would have done any good, because I never heard of, of, rape and a man. So I just did what I thought was best. I talked to people that I thought would be, if there was a problem, that would be following up on it.”
Is it possible to be that unaware of the existence of evil? Yes, it is, and we all know it.
While I was uninitiated, meaning, before my direct, personal encounter with a social predator, I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would cross paths with evil. I didn’t know that someone who appeared to be so loving and caring could have a hidden agenda. I lived a life of integrity, and I believed that the people who were part of my life were like me.
But, some may argue, sex abuse of children has been in the news for years—look at the stories about the Catholic Church. Well, my cousin was abused by priests. He received financial compensation many years ago—it was probably one of the first cases to be settled. I heard people in my family talking about it. Still, I did not comprehend what he must have experienced.
I didn’t understand the human capacity for manipulation and evil until it happened to me.
So, yes, I can believe that Joe Paterno was clueless. He grew up in a different era, when although the sexual abuse of children probably occurred, it certainly wasn’t talked about. He was inspired by his father. He believed in education. He believed in turning troubled athletes around. His whole life was about winning with integrity.
So for Paterno to realize, at this late stage of his life, that he may have been hoodwinked by someone so close to him must have been a terrible shock. It probably didn’t cause his lung cancer. But it may have sapped Paterno’s strength to fight it.
Read Joe Paterno’s last interview, on WashingtonPost.com.
I did not attend Penn State. I know several people who have at various campuses across PA. No, I do not have a frame of reference as far as the university goes, but I can clearly read what has been reported, investigated, uncovered, revealed, unveiled, and discovered. Paterno may have presented the “good man,” but he is not a hero. He is not a deity. He was not a “good man.” He allowed countless young kids to be victimized because he placed the athletic reputation above the well-being of innocent children. Plain and simple.
Now, as far as this online tiff goes, it’s a DIRECT reflection of what ALL spaths desire: distraction from truths.
Just my 2 cents, for whatever it’s worth (or, not).
So, now who’s up for ice cream? (blink)
Sandusky and Paterno are DIVINE examples of karmageddon!
Really skylar???? Nothing was taken out of context. The rest did not go to the yelling part. Context is not putting down everything one says. And yes you knew what you where agreeing to when you came right back at her with the “So we are YELLING at you because we want you to see them.” That is why the heated argument continued. Sm said she didn’t like being yelled at and you said yes we are yelling at you for your own good. Paraphrased………….The “why” for yelling doesn’t excuse the yelling. Well, I was only……………… This is the meaning you agreed to “YOU YELL LIKE THAT you really piss me off.” Sm set the meaning you backed it up.
“Yelling” on the internet means TYPING IN ALL CAPS. That’s all it means. It is used for emphasis, and unless it is accompanied by flaming words, it is not usually considered an attack.” Were did you come up with this.
https://www.google.com/search?q=all+caps+shouting+netiquette&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial&client=firefox-a&channel=rcs&hl=en&sa=X&ct=broad-revision&cd=1&ie=UTF-8
TYPING IN ALL CAPS MEANS SHOUTING. It always has and always will on the internet.
“this time?” If you can’t understand it I doubt you’ll understand anything that I wrote.
” meaning of my words when I said “yelling” at July 19, 2012 at 1:13 am?” That’s what this whole thing was about. Now I understand your confusion. For the meaning see first paragraph.
http://networketiquette.net/do_not_use_all_caps.htm
Do not use all caps on the internet because it is shouting. All caps is considered shouting on the internet. Shouting is not polite. Therefore, it is bad netiquette to use all caps on the internet because shouting is not polite.
Using all capital letters in electronic communication is like shouting at someone in person. It is a common technique used by HUSTLERS to get attention.
It does not matter what form of internet communication you are using, shouting is not acceptable. There are caveats and exceptions. Subject lines, headings, and advertisements are often in all capital letters for readability reasons.
No one likes to be yelled at, but every once in a while you have to shout at someone to get their attention. Therefore, using all caps is bad netiquette because it’s shouting, but is acceptable for certain reasons.
It is acceptable for website heading to be in all caps, but not personal messages. All Caps is popular on classified advertising and auction websites because it is a good way to make your ad stand out. I do not recommend responding to ads with all caps.
In reality, shouting at someone is done to get their attention through intimidation. Shouting breaks the standard level of volume and tone, a voice should carry, to force someone into doing something. This is not socially acceptable in a civilized society because it is a use of force not reason.
Shouting at people is unreasonable in most cases. It raises the case that standard text should carry. It is not acceptable in a civilized cybersphere. Therefore, it is bad netiquette to use all caps because it is unacceptable to yell at people in a civilized society or cybersphere. Do not digitally disrespect others by using all caps.
Everyone could use a little netiquette!
I don’t think Joe Paterno was a spath.
Had he lived, he would have faced charges for Child Endangerment. And it would have been AFTER the landmark legal precedents were set in Philadelphia for the prosecution of Catholic priests. In 1998, if he turned it over to the President and Athletic Director, it was indeed their job to act. But a lot changed because of what happened in Philadelphia.
I don’t think the PSU leadership dealt with the situation correctly. How could anyone think that? But there is a difference between being stupid and making a terrible decision and being pathalogical.
Especially when the guy walked his talk for 61 years and was well respected for it. Of course people listened to his opinion. He was a huge asset to the University and the program was worth millions upon millions of dollars. But I wouldn’t put Jaime Diamon and Joe Paterno in the same class of business decision makers. And Graham Spier? He should have done what the Superintendent in LA did do: Clean house.
Do I care about the victims? What in the world was that about? Really? C’mon, admit it, that’s a dig.
Despite the allegations that I stay up late when I want to, suffer from cognative dissonance or denial or whatever else is on the list of conditions which are equal to a dissenting opinion from the politically correct borg, the question bears asking:
They made terrible decisions, but does it make them pathalogical?
I doubt a”spath” could hold his mask for 61 years. I don’t believe that Joe Paterno had any intention of putting those kids at risk for the sake of the University. He would have protected the University, but he would not have thrown boys to that fate to do it.
His judgement and advice was not equal to the urgency of the situation. And if the people who held the responsibility to act failed to do so, the end result is it tarnishes them all.
The rest we will know as the other trials get under way and the truth will out. I think we all get that. But truth does not spout from every editorial writer who carves a few paragraphs from this scandal, this tragic episode. A lot of them are peddling tripe. And that’s the way media is these days. And there is a lot if tripe in both liberal and conservative media.
The bent on the woman who walked away is the worst kind. Her story is like what would have happened if Hogwarts rioted under Doloris Umbridge because the students rejected being punished? She tried to impose herself on a huge community in a short time. That wasn’t leadership, it was stupidity. She failed. Paterno didn’t fire here. Speirs did. And he did it because she didn’t fit into the team. If you don’t fit in to the team in any job guess what? Well the media is making a heroic out of her failure. And her testimony was part of the larger story. Its a shame, but it is what it is.
When you swallow it whole and spit it back out its like one person yells snake in the cornfield and pretty soon the whole crew is hollerin,’ “eew snake”! Anybody says Are you sure it isn’t a lizzard and the whole crew starts in.
I’ve seen this happen before. And this isn’t the first time I’ve said No on LF and had to duck the firestorm. I’ve seen this mob rain hellfire and brimstone on innocents before and I think you’ll do it again. I don’t agree that it is right or that you should because the rage and triggering and all of it affects you and you might do something really stupid. Paterno did. I suspect that pendulum swings both ways.
At least until you find your own voice. The one that doesn’t filter everything you know through the experience of the relationship with the disordered. By then, you’ll have finished processing it. You’ll have let go of the spath and you will own yourself.
Until then your story is the spath. Not what YOU think, not how YOU feel but always through the filter of processing the spath experience.
I’m greatful for the spar. Let me know if you ever want to go another round. The end result is breaking free of having to do that comparison. I know about spaths. I did learn here and I had a pretty rough lesson or two. But it is in my past and frame of reference now. Not the lens through which I look at the world.
It comes to me that I am free of the burden of the Spath experience. I have come to a place where I can think and speak and feel without reflecting on the spath. Its just not who I am anymore.
It isn’t about Joe Paterno, even though we were talking about him -sort of. Its about a wonderful freedom. It about what it takes to get there and what its like to be there. It about speaking your mind whether anyone else agrees because you think so and it has nothing whatsoever to do with a snake in the cornfield.
May Peace be with you.
OH MY
Skylar
About the apology don’t know what your talking about but if it makes you feel better accepted. But it doesn’t have anything to do with this discussion.
“CAPITAL LETTERS” without being/getting upset…….Experience. I know that is why I looked it up for you because your experience seems lacking on the subject. TYPING IN ALL CAPS MEANS SHOUTING. If it is with someone your agreeing with then it’s normally no big deal. But if some tells you that is pissing me off then it is. And no nowhere in there where you said “So we are YELLING at you because we want you to see them.” were you just telling her what it meant to you. And in a discussion where one says this is what this means and the other comes back and says what you said then they’ve accepted their meaning. English 101.
If you meant what you said about telling her what it meant then when Silvermoon said your yelling is pissing me off you would have stopped and said I was only giving the word emphasis not shouting or yelling at. sorry if it came across that way. Or something to that effect.
So where is the part about what yelling meant to you?
Silvermoon,
we are here to learn about the RED FLAGS, so that we don’t get fooled again. What other weapon do we have other than knowledge? NONE.
And the flags are so obvious and easy to see once you know them. So we are YELLING at you because we want you to see them. Yet you refuse. Joe was a spath. He didn’t care about anything but his OWN legacy and money. That was clear in the end.
If you will notice I said paraphrase, not quote. “No, I didn’t say, “for your own good.”” This was not verbatim but went to meaning. Again English 101.
“because we want you to see them.”
paraphrased “for your own good.”
” “Yelling” was used as a euphemism for CAPITAL LETTERS.” this is a quote
euphemism: the substitution of a mild, indirect, or vague expression for one thought to be offensive, harsh, or blunt.
Hens, can you speak up? I didn’t hear you. 🙂
All of this arguing back and forth over what label to give Joe Paterno seems to totally miss the point. The point is that at the end of the day, we are all accountable for our actions and their consequences. Because of his actions (or lack thereof) and those of several others, many young lives were devastated. We do live in a culture where there is a great deal of denial and unconsciousness. When I say “unconsciousness”, I say acting without really thinking about the consequences. Want an example of unconsciousness? Raise your hand if you’ve never bought a piece of clothing that wasn’t made by a child labor camp in a third world country. Or never eaten meat from an animal that was inhumanely slaughtered. Or never worn clothes made from animals that were raised inhumanely. Or never shopped at an establishment that supported dictatorial countries. Before you all start pointing fingers and calling people spaths, consider that we ALL have our pockets of unconsciousness. We live in a society that is SO mechanized and SO depersonalized, that we put very little conscious thought into most of what we do and who is harmed by those things. We need to pull the motes out of our own eyes (or however that goes) before we start pulling them out of others’. I get tired of hearing this “everyone is a spath” routine here, because there are (in a conservative estimate) 4 of them in 100. So the majority of people are NOT spaths. But we ALL can behave in spathlike ways at times. This has been proven in the Bobo doll experiment and the Milgrim experiment. It was proven during the Holocaust. If we believe every single person who has acted badly or turned their back on some sort of transgression is a spath, then we may as well all go kill ourselves.
Jerry Sandusky is the true spath here, and the others failed miserably to protect his victims. They need to be held accountable to the fullest extent of the law and made examples of. Maybe then the culture of secrecy will start to change.
I also think people don’t really understand about pedophiles and how compulsive they are and what great liars they are. It’s not something that’s really taught in school. A very clever pedophile can convince you that he is innocent, and it was all a mistake and you’d be hard pressed not to believe him, if you don’t know what you’re dealing with. I lived with a pedophile for a year, and I was completely shocked years later to find out what he had done. Shocked. I almost didn’t believe it. I don’t think Joe Paterno recognized the magnitude of the problem he was dealing with. And the results were very tragic. I hope for his soul that he went to his grave with some remorse.
As a survivor of childhood abuse myself, I also wanted to add that what would be personally satisfying to me would be for Paterno and his friends to be held accountable. For the victims to be believed. Because this is what I always wanted with my abusers, and it never happened. So it is vicarious for me. Putting a “spath” label on those who didn’t help me does not make me feel better or further my healing in anyway. Holding them accountable does.
The thing that has helped me the most, though, is to recognize that people are human. Some are sick and twisted, and some make very bad choices for a variety of reasons. Some of those people never take responsibility for their actions. All of this I have NO CONTROL over. But I refuse to let my happiness hinge on others taking responsibility for their actions. I don’t have to hang out with those people, but it is no longer my personal mission to get them to take responsibility. My own happiness is within my own locus of control.