Joe Paterno, the legendary Penn State football coach, has died.
I can’t help but wonder if the travesty of the last few months, with his former assistant coach, Jerry Sandusky, being charged with sexually molesting 10 young boys over 15 years, killed him.
I’m not an alumna of Penn State. (I am, however, an alumna of Syracuse University, with its own scandal of an assistant basketball coach allegedly molesting boys.) Still, I hate to see the storied career of Joe Paterno forever blackened by the malevolent behavior of one man, if that proves to be the case.
Some people argue that Paterno had to know what was going on. They argue that Paterno was so concerned about his legacy, the reputation of his football program and Penn State University, that he was willing to turn a blind eye to the behavior of Jerry Sandusky.
I’m not so sure.
Since the scandal broke in November, Joe Paterno has given only one interview, to Sally Jenkins of the Washington Post. The story was published on January 14, 2012. It characterizes Joe Paterno as unable to comprehend what Sandusky may have done, because it was simply too foreign to the way Paterno himself lived his life. Jenkins writes:
He reiterated that McQueary was unclear with him about the nature of what he saw and added that even if McQueary had been more graphic, he’s not sure he would have comprehended it.
“You know, he didn’t want to get specific,” Paterno said. “And to be frank with you I don’t know that it would have done any good, because I never heard of, of, rape and a man. So I just did what I thought was best. I talked to people that I thought would be, if there was a problem, that would be following up on it.”
Is it possible to be that unaware of the existence of evil? Yes, it is, and we all know it.
While I was uninitiated, meaning, before my direct, personal encounter with a social predator, I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would cross paths with evil. I didn’t know that someone who appeared to be so loving and caring could have a hidden agenda. I lived a life of integrity, and I believed that the people who were part of my life were like me.
But, some may argue, sex abuse of children has been in the news for years—look at the stories about the Catholic Church. Well, my cousin was abused by priests. He received financial compensation many years ago—it was probably one of the first cases to be settled. I heard people in my family talking about it. Still, I did not comprehend what he must have experienced.
I didn’t understand the human capacity for manipulation and evil until it happened to me.
So, yes, I can believe that Joe Paterno was clueless. He grew up in a different era, when although the sexual abuse of children probably occurred, it certainly wasn’t talked about. He was inspired by his father. He believed in education. He believed in turning troubled athletes around. His whole life was about winning with integrity.
So for Paterno to realize, at this late stage of his life, that he may have been hoodwinked by someone so close to him must have been a terrible shock. It probably didn’t cause his lung cancer. But it may have sapped Paterno’s strength to fight it.
Read Joe Paterno’s last interview, on WashingtonPost.com.
“We are oft to blame in this, –
’tis too much proved, – that with devotion’s visage,
and pios action we do sugar o’er
the devil himself.”
”• William Shakespeare, Hamlet
Oxy – so true
Good night all
Ox;
Having good boundaries is not being judgmental. Good boundaries including avoiding people who are substance abusers, liars, those who are violent…
BBE, I agree with that….I’m finally getting my training wheels off about the boundaries and learning to set them without feeling uncertain or guilty about setting them. I still laugh about the first time I cried for 3 days before I set a boundary with the woman who I caught stealing from me…I was so afraid I would hurt HER feelings. LOL I ican laugh at it NOW but at the time I could only cry and worry.
At first I was afraid I was being too harsh, then later afraid I wasn’t being harsh enough…so we have to find a balance and that is done by practice I think, like riding a bicycle.
Boundaries are a big problem when a spath and an enabler meet.
The enabler’s lack of boundaries causes them to take on too much responsibility for the emotions of both parties. While the spath’s lack of boundaries causes them to place blame on the enabler.
It’s a dynamic in which both have to play a part or it doesn’t work. That’s why we have to refuse to participate.
Ox;
I am challenged by two people right now. Both are very nice to me, intelligent and we have common interests.
Both are also raging alcoholics…. They are part of a group that meets ever Sunday to watch football games. By the end of the game they are not a pretty sight.
We make judgments all the time. Which college is good enough for me (or my kid, etc.) to attend? When the student submits a paper, does it meet the requirements of the assignment and pass, or do a sloppy job and fail? I am an alumna of Penn State, and Joe had enough influence that he could have snapped his fingers the VERY FIRST TIME he heard or saw something — and boom, Sandusky would have “softly and silently vanished away” (Lewis Carroll). He could easily have fired him, or had him investigated by the cops, or both. He did have that much influence. And he failed to use it when it mattered most.
I’ve made bad choices in my life. But at least my bad choices (of first boyfriend and, not too long after, of a completely different spath whom I married) only got ME raped. I’m just sayin’.
BBE why are you “challenged” by these two people? “Both are raging alcoholics”—is that the kind of person you want in your life?
“He’s a really nice guy when he isn’t robbing banks” ???????
My advice, for what it is worth, is that if a person has a “big” problem like alcoholic, drugs, thief, mooch, whatever….keep away from them unless you are just looking for someone to sit at a bar and talk to….but I’m past time phase of my life of sitting in bars looking for conversation or companionship…..looking back I was fishing in the sewer and anything I caught was likely to be a turd….or a raging alcoholic.
Ox;
What I mean is that I feel guilty for wanting to keep my distance. And perhaps for not having enough courage to get them to slow down a bit.
He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it.
– Martin Luther King, Jr
Forgiveness of enemies can only come upon their repentance.
– William Blake
You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star.
– Nietzsche
xxx