Editor’s Note: This letter to Lovefraud was submitted by a Lovefraud reader whom we’ll call Jennette.
I saved myself from a sociopath thanks to your Lovefraud.com. Thank you very much, I can tell you now that you saved my life!
You see, I was unlucky…
He was my first boyfriend when I was 18 yrs old. He made me trust him with insane lies. He knew my weakness was not trusting people so easily. I was very vulnerable, kind, romantic and insecure. I broke up with him — although I loved him — because he cheated on me and my parents forced me to do this for my own good.
He had haunted my dreams and mind for 10 years .The bond he had created couldn’t break no matter how hard I tried. I wasn’t enjoying life for years.
I’m in my 30s now, and I have become a much stronger person. I went to a therapist to get more help on my confidence issues. She unlocked my hidden passion for him and my desperate love.
I decided to find him and make a last effort to see if he changed and if he ever felt about me the way I felt about him. How romantic!
If only I knew he was a sociopath
He started treating me the exact same awful way, playing with me and lying We only texted each other for a year. He was wishy- washy and totally confusing! I started losing my confidence again and fell into his trap. I just couldn’t see through his lies!
When he contacted me again I decided to make a last effort and tell him honestly how I feel about him and what I seek from him (for example, to not be hot and cold towards me.)
He said that he was flattered and suddenly started texting me, at late hours, drunk, that I’m the love of his life, that he wants to be with me, he wants to tell me everything about his life etc.
Thanks to my hesitation I asked him not to rush so much. He got angry! He emotionally blackmailed me to date him, or else he would never speak to me again!
I felt devastated, and confused. I started to Google the word selfish, then passive aggressive, then manipulative and finally I found emotional abuse. I was lucky to find Lovefraud and shocked as I read through the blog as everything seemed to describe him! I knew nothing about sociopaths before. I finally got my answers.
Everything he said was a fraud
I have maintained No Contact for three months now, and I feel peaceful inside. I will move on and I will never talk to this evil person again. I don’t feel anger for him. I don’t blame myself for believing his lies! I was one of his victims, but not anymore. I am a survivor. He infatuated me to trust him, but I finally saw the truth and I’m free; I’m not bound to him anymore. Now the focus is on me at last, not on him. The spotlight is on my life, on my happiness, not his.
That was a great lesson for me — to not trust so easily, to not be so naive and insecure, to not blame myself so much about something not going the way I wanted it, not opening my heart so easily and not giving in to emotions and things so impulsively. Love is not pain. Love is happiness.
A big thank you Donna!
Keep up informing people about sociopaths, you do a great job!
I wish you the best.