LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Delete yourself from the lie

A few weeks ago, Lovefraud published a letter from “Kay” —This was all about him and all about what he needed. Kay has written again, with Part 2 of her story.

It’s Kay, I am back with more memories I uncovered which were hidden in my subconscious about this sociopath. I hope this helps Lovefraud readers once again. I have taken the time to re-read some of his emails, all of them actually, trying to piece together an otherwise really, really Long Lie which consumed one-and-a-half years of my life.

Here is one of his emails where he LIES about everything he feels… WARNING — There are TRIGGERS here. I am sure you some of you have heard some or all of this before….

Like I told you the other day I don’t know what it is about you that drives me crazy.. And I don’t want to know.. I just never want it to end.. I love the way you make me feel.. You bring happiness to my life and peace to my soul.. In you I have found my destiny.. My joy.. My love of my life… My bestfriend.. My lover.. My everything.. Your love makes me feel like I’m on top of the world… You are like a drug to me… I can’t get enough of you and your love… I now understand why you sometimes acted the way you did with me.. Baby I am sorry from the bottom of my heart.. That I did that to us.. I will never take you for granted ever again.. Your my world.. Your my everything… And I live you with all my heart… Your an amazing woman and mother… And you’ll be an amazing wife… And I want to be everything that you need and want and desire in your life for ever and ever… I wouldn’t change anything in my life because it has lead me to you…

I love you baby…

Please note ALL THE ABOVE IS A LIE. There was no veracity to anything said in the above e-mail to me. This was his way of “voicing” what he knew I wanted to hear. I was never his best friend, the love of his life, he apologizes only to do it again, he says he will never take me for granted, he left me three weeks after this email was written. He left me once his ex-wife started to suspect something was going on. He quickly flew the coop. He had no intentions of staying with me ever. I was a pawn in his chess game. Only I was smarter than he counted on. I called him on it.

It has come to surface that he was, in fact, leading his ex-wife and me on at the same time. One of my friends casually drove by his home only to see his former wife’s car there just one week after our relationship was over. She was warned. We took the time to warn her. Anonymously, but we did. She is well aware of this behavior and continues to return to this relationship. He is her problem now. I have moved on but continue to heal from this lie. It was a really long lie that I believed. The whole relationship was a lie. I have always taken great pride in my intelligence but I was fooled.

The longer you stay, the longer the lie lives. Delete yourself from the lie.

I share this with you because strength comes with knowledge of the damage these sociopaths can cause. We believe the lies. I believed everything he said to me. Everything.

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448 Comments on "LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Delete yourself from the lie"

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You say, “I want others opinions, am I the crazy one. I will tell you what I concluded about the whole thing.”

I love a good cliffhanger. But if you have already come to a conclusion, why do you need anyone else’s opinion???

And why not just share your conclusion, instead of withholding it like you are doing??

You know your situation better than anyone here.
Trust yourself and your gut.

If you already came up with a conclusion, it’s probably correct.

oxy, you nailed it with my conclusion. I think that is what sickened me even more than the complete lack of compassion or mention of what it has done to her children and family. Is that his excitement over it all was that “wow, a potential opportunity, and yes even telling me that she mentioned she wanted to call me about getting her son’s hair fixed, or maybe he made that part up, just to encourage me to become more acquainted with her for his agenda. This is the worst sort of manipulation yet and I have seen this type before.

I guess it would be no different that he his only concern was “oh man, great opportunity. I should know, 2 days after my father died while we were living in Fla, hubby drives me to boat dealership and tried to work his magic and charm to get me to finance a big boat for him. I was in shock, numb, and still can’t wrap my mind around that sort of thing.

Dear Joyful,

And you are married to this piece of chit WHY?

ps. it is difficult to wrap your head around the fact that your “beloved” is conning you for money, sex and/or favors. I imagine he decided your dad left you some money so HE COULD GET A BOAT! Typical P behavior.

Rosa is right about VALIDATING OURSELVES though. REad and learn about psychopaths, then compare your H to a psychopath if the GLOVE FITS, CONVICT and dump his sorry arse! Don’t double think yourself either.

OxDrover – For now, I am working very part time, we have sex maybe 3 times a year and the only other reason I can figure he stays around is because he desperately wants to keep up appearances. e are told constantly by others that see us together that he is a very lucky man, that I am a beautiful woman, it makes him look and feel good ( for the moment). He would ultimately sabotage this marriage (maintaining control) than to simply tell me that he isn’t finding the thrills with me that he so desperately lives for. He craves excitement. For now I am stuck, no financial resources, my mother (with dementia) is living with us and a few weeks back he wrote an email to my other siblings demanding money from them or their time so I could go out and work full time or if they didn’t, they would not be welcome in our home. I have friend on FB, a man who was friends of my family, husband fooled this man and this man congratulated husband on how I deserve a good man and that hubby is a good man. My friend does not know husband personally but heard about what he did to defend me by writing the email to may family concerning my mother. My friend actually wrote on FB that he wanted to meet my husband one day and shake his hand…that it would be an honor. I almost gagged.
So for now, I am currently filling out applications for my mother for an assisted living place back in NY, and once she is comfortable and situated, I will go back to work full time, save all I can and leave this insane world I live within.


I sympathize with you, being in a difficult spot, not having the financial resources (currently) to exit (your situation) as quickly as you’d like to. Keep your eye on the goal, knowing that you’ll reach it one day (hopefully sooner than later). You’re not alone.

Dear Joyful,

I’lm with BlueJay, it is a terrible squeeze between “the devil and the deep blue sea”—-I hope your sibs will come across with some money to help your situation (squirrel some of it back) In fact, save a few dollars a month back in cash–even if it is only $5 or $10 a month, start your stash now, whatever you can lay hands on that he won’t miss.

Also get copies of all IMPORTANT DOCUMENTS from mortgage papers, SS#, tax filings, his wages statements, bank statements, credit card statements, cart titles and any payment books. GET copies of EVERYTHING and keep it safe and together. Eventually you will need these copies when filing for a divorce so keep them current.

Good luck and keep yer chin up! (((Hugs))))

JoyFull -Yes Bluejay says it well…”keep your eye on the goal” once you are working towards freedom, the universe will flood you with help eventually, with a few tests along the way…keep going….you are amazing!!!

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