A few weeks ago, Lovefraud published a letter from “Kay” —This was all about him and all about what he needed. Kay has written again, with Part 2 of her story.
It’s Kay, I am back with more memories I uncovered which were hidden in my subconscious about this sociopath. I hope this helps Lovefraud readers once again. I have taken the time to re-read some of his emails, all of them actually, trying to piece together an otherwise really, really Long Lie which consumed one-and-a-half years of my life.
Here is one of his emails where he LIES about everything he feels… WARNING — There are TRIGGERS here. I am sure you some of you have heard some or all of this before….
Like I told you the other day I don’t know what it is about you that drives me crazy.. And I don’t want to know.. I just never want it to end.. I love the way you make me feel.. You bring happiness to my life and peace to my soul.. In you I have found my destiny.. My joy.. My love of my life… My bestfriend.. My lover.. My everything.. Your love makes me feel like I’m on top of the world… You are like a drug to me… I can’t get enough of you and your love… I now understand why you sometimes acted the way you did with me.. Baby I am sorry from the bottom of my heart.. That I did that to us.. I will never take you for granted ever again.. Your my world.. Your my everything… And I live you with all my heart… Your an amazing woman and mother… And you’ll be an amazing wife… And I want to be everything that you need and want and desire in your life for ever and ever… I wouldn’t change anything in my life because it has lead me to you…
I love you baby…
Please note ALL THE ABOVE IS A LIE. There was no veracity to anything said in the above e-mail to me. This was his way of “voicing” what he knew I wanted to hear. I was never his best friend, the love of his life, he apologizes only to do it again, he says he will never take me for granted, he left me three weeks after this email was written. He left me once his ex-wife started to suspect something was going on. He quickly flew the coop. He had no intentions of staying with me ever. I was a pawn in his chess game. Only I was smarter than he counted on. I called him on it.
It has come to surface that he was, in fact, leading his ex-wife and me on at the same time. One of my friends casually drove by his home only to see his former wife’s car there just one week after our relationship was over. She was warned. We took the time to warn her. Anonymously, but we did. She is well aware of this behavior and continues to return to this relationship. He is her problem now. I have moved on but continue to heal from this lie. It was a really long lie that I believed. The whole relationship was a lie. I have always taken great pride in my intelligence but I was fooled.
The longer you stay, the longer the lie lives. Delete yourself from the lie.
I share this with you because strength comes with knowledge of the damage these sociopaths can cause. We believe the lies. I believed everything he said to me. Everything.
I was tallking about myself. I wish I knew, at a young age, what I know now. And, I am teaching my children well. I wasted time selling my soul to the wrong men. I thank God that ten years ago…I took my three girls and left the socio I was married to. They would never be who they are today…happy, intelligent, and stable young girls.
My b/f just made a comment about a criminal on the CRIMINAL MIND show. He said…Why do they try to analyze these guys? They are all “pieces of shit..period, the end”.
He is a retired cop. lol
I would have to agree with the piece of shit thing. I used to watch that show when I had a TV. My ex loved it too. He sure loved his cop shows. He initially had some kind of fantasy about having a police officer girlfriend. I think that he discarded me because I was on to him. Once he knew that I knew that he was lying, he couldn’t deal with it. He probably knew that he could no longer pull the wool over my eyes. I have always been good at reading people-except this section of society-the socios/narcissists. I learned SO much from this relationship. I can now read and pick these people out real quick and I’m not fooled by them. It will actually make me a better police officer. I was watching an episode of SVU on DVD and this man on there was a textbook narcissist-one of Stabler’s buds. He had the female detective completely snowed. It was so obvious to me what he was about. Before coming to this blog I was being fooled by a whole section of society.
Erin1972 – that’s it, girl! Your strength, conviction, and self-assuredness is bubbling over!
PMS + full moon + 200 rounds = grinning Survivor
Brightest blessings!
thanks Buttons! You have no idea how much better I felt when I came out of there. I was so tired of feeling like I wanted to cry and I did cry some over him. The flashbacks of us in bed are the only thing that will do me in these days. It’s too hard.
I thought, why I am I sitting here trying to cry about it? I’m going to do something right now. I went to that range and I beat the shit out of those targets. Everything in dead center. I wish I could post the pictures on here. I put them on FB. When I’m shooting I feel the most confidence. More than anytime. I feel ten feet tall when I’m done! I’m going to think about it next time I’m in the elevator with the ex’s wife at work or any other time when I get thrown in with her. The longest I can go without her finding out who I am, the better off I’ll be. I don’t need that kind of stress. I hope she’s not dumb enough to make a scene because I am NOT for the drama!
tobehappy–Why He Can’t Love sounds like something I’d like to read. I tried looking it up and haven’t found anything. Is this the complete title?
double posting deleted 🙂
tobehappy …How do we protect young girls from the lie of love bombing? if you say “all they want from you is sex” you sound like a bitter old prude from the 70’s if you say “that’s wonderful darling…he must really love you say all that” you could be leading her into hurt…
Well….it’s part of growing up as Sharon Osbourne said in relation to her daughter Kelly who was all set to get married to her 2 year relationship with her beloved Luke…and what did he do? he cheated on her…and she is devastated…really taken down by it…but I must say her mother was really good on the topic and very real…she said it’s a lesson we have to learn sometime…and she had no doubt that Kelly would get over it in time.
So I think WE cannot crush a young girls dream of love and romance by nagging at her not to be fooled blah de blah, we just are not that powerful…SHE has to do it for herself, and the sooner the better…so that lesson is learnt early on rather than later….and the most effective way to learn is through experience.
And as she falls for the love bombing, resist telling her the answers…maybe you are wrong anyway and the guy is real…let her learn her own way…and then BE THERE for her when it gets painful…that’s the learning curve…the edge of growth…not keeping them all locked away in cotton wool. just my opinion.
You have REALLY learned the lesson now, would you prevent your daughter from learning the same thing only a bit earlier? we survive we really do, and end up tougher and more equipped to deal with ‘real’ life….because the fairy tales and the barbie doll have alot to answer for….
To be happy, and Erin 72, Sorry, but your BOTH wrong.
It wasnt Mark Twain or GB Shaw who said,
“Youth is wasted on the young.”
It was Oscar Wilde.Not trying to bea smarty pants know all, but I do know this, I taught about all of them in English classes.{Ex High school teacher of Art and English!.{Fine Arts degree.}Love,
Mama gem.
bulletproof: I will tell you that in my situation, it doesn’t do a damn bit of good to lock the daughters away. My mother (narcissist) was like the mother in Stephen King’s Carrie, just not quite as scary. She told me the whole-all they want is sex thing and I was afraid of relationships when she was done. I remained a virgin until I was 21 and then my first socio date raped me because he was tired of waiting to have sex. My mother kept me locked away from the world only being around her and shoving religion down my throat. All these TV preachers she worshipped to much have fallen from grace and the current ones are under investigation for defrauding people of millions by the FBI. The way my mother dealt with me helped me have relationships with only socios/narcissists and no NORMAL men. This last man who I fell for was my first true love and knew just what to say to get me with him. It was con and he is a malignant narcissist-the most dangerous emotional predator. I don’t know if you are aware but 2bhappy just recently got back together with the man that she was crying about on this site for months and what brought her here to begin with. Now she doesn’t think he’s a sociopath. I wonder just what daughters get out of this-especially because she said that her girls didn’t like this man when they were together. I am going to just go back and say that you are 100% right. Our girls and daughters have to be allowed to experience life for themselves. It does no good to them to handle it the other way. I got the whole “all they want is sex talk” constantly and I am a shining example of how misguided that is and how it can be detrimental in emotional development.
Gemini-I don’t want to argue with anyone about literary stuff. I saw that quote associated with Oscar Wilde and George Bernard Shaw. I don’t know used it first or care who owns it. It was just my way of saying that there are certain people on here who come on and all they do is throw out quotations and lines from books and song lyrics and words from therapists, etc. and they have no originality. For God sake’s write from your heart occasionally instead of regurgitating what everyone else says—-I’m just sayin.