A few weeks ago, Lovefraud published a letter from “Kay” —This was all about him and all about what he needed. Kay has written again, with Part 2 of her story.
It’s Kay, I am back with more memories I uncovered which were hidden in my subconscious about this sociopath. I hope this helps Lovefraud readers once again. I have taken the time to re-read some of his emails, all of them actually, trying to piece together an otherwise really, really Long Lie which consumed one-and-a-half years of my life.
Here is one of his emails where he LIES about everything he feels… WARNING — There are TRIGGERS here. I am sure you some of you have heard some or all of this before….
Like I told you the other day I don’t know what it is about you that drives me crazy.. And I don’t want to know.. I just never want it to end.. I love the way you make me feel.. You bring happiness to my life and peace to my soul.. In you I have found my destiny.. My joy.. My love of my life… My bestfriend.. My lover.. My everything.. Your love makes me feel like I’m on top of the world… You are like a drug to me… I can’t get enough of you and your love… I now understand why you sometimes acted the way you did with me.. Baby I am sorry from the bottom of my heart.. That I did that to us.. I will never take you for granted ever again.. Your my world.. Your my everything… And I live you with all my heart… Your an amazing woman and mother… And you’ll be an amazing wife… And I want to be everything that you need and want and desire in your life for ever and ever… I wouldn’t change anything in my life because it has lead me to you…
I love you baby…
Please note ALL THE ABOVE IS A LIE. There was no veracity to anything said in the above e-mail to me. This was his way of “voicing” what he knew I wanted to hear. I was never his best friend, the love of his life, he apologizes only to do it again, he says he will never take me for granted, he left me three weeks after this email was written. He left me once his ex-wife started to suspect something was going on. He quickly flew the coop. He had no intentions of staying with me ever. I was a pawn in his chess game. Only I was smarter than he counted on. I called him on it.
It has come to surface that he was, in fact, leading his ex-wife and me on at the same time. One of my friends casually drove by his home only to see his former wife’s car there just one week after our relationship was over. She was warned. We took the time to warn her. Anonymously, but we did. She is well aware of this behavior and continues to return to this relationship. He is her problem now. I have moved on but continue to heal from this lie. It was a really long lie that I believed. The whole relationship was a lie. I have always taken great pride in my intelligence but I was fooled.
The longer you stay, the longer the lie lives. Delete yourself from the lie.
I share this with you because strength comes with knowledge of the damage these sociopaths can cause. We believe the lies. I believed everything he said to me. Everything.
Wini – He thought he was above everyone else. Always. It was so annoying. He was actually, if viewed objectively, below in socioeconomic status (although he wore expensive clothes and car he could not afford), in intellect, however, everyone else was below him. It was annoying to see his put downs of everyone.
He also said he felt best and most comfortable at home alone.
Amazing!
Kay777, Pretty interesting that he thought he could be alone, or at least wanted to be alone. Just chalk that up to another lie they tell themselves.
To be alone, to contemplate about the days events are what we are suppose to do. Tune everything out from the hustle and bustle of the day and reflect.
None of them can be alone with their thoughts … to reflect what? Who they screwed over in the last few hours that they were awake?
There is no peace and harmony in them. All chaos. All darkness, no light … no peace, no calm, no love.
Wini – Did your Sociopath ever “switch” from one person to another right before your very eyes? It seemed like if he was ever beginning to have fun, he would pull the plug on it and slip away into depressing thought…. Can you relate?
Geminigirl – Brilliant!
Kay777, I’m not the right person to ask this question since I only caught my EX in one lie. That was the night before he left … I asked him to check the caulking on the roof to the family room. It leaked when it rained. He lied and said that he did re-caulk the seam on the roof by climbing through the window … during the week. I said “how could you, the window is locked”? He then ran down the hall away from our conversation. The next day he was gone … forever.
I was too busy getting beaten (devastated beyond imagination they were so cruel and so surreal) down by my Spath bosses, all their Spath cronies, my attorney who turned out to be a Spath liar … etc. to pay attention to any details in my personnel life … what my EX was or wasn’t doing? I assumed he was real. I had no idea what-so-ever that he was mirroring me. Even the last day I saw him … I didn’t comprehend anything until the PTSD was wearing off from the work abuse. By then it was too late … to confront my EX. He was long gone.
Bottom line, I was dealing with 2 psycho situations and had no clue that everyone I was dealing with was a LIE from HELLO to GOODBYE. Double whammy of destruction.
Kay777,
When we were first courting, he would have these bizarre outbursts and I would question him about them. I remember asking him, “Is this the way you are all the time?” He then smoothed it over by saying that he was stressed because he wanted to make sure that I was for real and not trying to play games. Of course, that immediately drew attention away from his behavior and I focused on how I could prove to him that I was not playing games.
He never ONCE had a full belly laugh. Or a full and complete smile. A face full of joy and happiness. The photos I saw of him revealed a lot that I ignored. He looked like a crazy person in the first one and the second one he sent me, he looked depressed. He said he looked that way because he missed me. And I believed it. Everything I saw and pointed out he found some way to attribute it back to me.
He claimed to never had gone to the beach. So I took him to Venice Beach. Absolutely beautiful day! All he could say was that it was a “whole bunch of water”. No expression of amazement. He shot some video with his camera phone and made sure that he did not point the camera at me. It was a conscious effort. Demon!!
And when he flew out here to Cali, he assumed that he had hit the Motherlode. I drove to the airport picked him up and drove to the area to pay for parking. I looked at him and he reluctantly took out his wallet to pay for parking. He was seething with anger and he tried not to let it show, but I could sense that he expected me to pay for the parking and everything else. I made him pay for everything we did. Put gas in my car, purchase a new keyboard, etc. Ain’t no sugar momma over here!!! Get this: He told me at one point that one of his children wore the same size clothes as he did. I thought this was interesting because he hadn’t mentioned that before. It was only later that I realized that this idiot was trying to get me to purchase clothes for him!!
healingfast19
OMG a Total Demon! It is scary how catatonic they really are. They go through life not feeling joy, but they seem to feel a lot of sorrow though. They are full of sorrow, guilt, ugliness. Yes and he never had any money! He would try and “guilt” me into thinking that I was so lucky to have been left in good financial status.
kay777- My S definitely did not have a lot of friends. However, he had a LOT of aquaintances. He was obsessed with his number of “friends” on facebook. He would always say things like “my friend so and so did this” (name-dropping), but then I would realize he never spoke to them…they never called or showed up. He would tell stories about them like they pal-ed around all the time, which I would later understand were lies. He would often use these “friends” as covers for things he did or as pity ploys. Example: “I didn’t show up to work because my friend was in the hospital!” or something like that. But, yes, he kept everyone at arms length, because if they were too close, they would find the cracks. He can only let targets get that close, because then he can focus on making sure to keep the wool pulled over their eyes. With all of his lies, it would take a LOT of wool if he had many close friends. That’s actually how I started to discover his web- he started dating a guy, so his attention was divided. He couldn’t cover both.
Bluebell:
I’m with you…..spath was surrounded by a lot of peeps…..he called ‘friends’…..but really they were aquantences……drug peeps, networking peeps, peeps he could take from, and have his ego bolstered by, provided things from and hide behind…..us included!
Essh!