A few weeks ago, Lovefraud published a letter from “Kay” —This was all about him and all about what he needed. Kay has written again, with Part 2 of her story.
It’s Kay, I am back with more memories I uncovered which were hidden in my subconscious about this sociopath. I hope this helps Lovefraud readers once again. I have taken the time to re-read some of his emails, all of them actually, trying to piece together an otherwise really, really Long Lie which consumed one-and-a-half years of my life.
Here is one of his emails where he LIES about everything he feels… WARNING — There are TRIGGERS here. I am sure you some of you have heard some or all of this before….
Like I told you the other day I don’t know what it is about you that drives me crazy.. And I don’t want to know.. I just never want it to end.. I love the way you make me feel.. You bring happiness to my life and peace to my soul.. In you I have found my destiny.. My joy.. My love of my life… My bestfriend.. My lover.. My everything.. Your love makes me feel like I’m on top of the world… You are like a drug to me… I can’t get enough of you and your love… I now understand why you sometimes acted the way you did with me.. Baby I am sorry from the bottom of my heart.. That I did that to us.. I will never take you for granted ever again.. Your my world.. Your my everything… And I live you with all my heart… Your an amazing woman and mother… And you’ll be an amazing wife… And I want to be everything that you need and want and desire in your life for ever and ever… I wouldn’t change anything in my life because it has lead me to you…
I love you baby…
Please note ALL THE ABOVE IS A LIE. There was no veracity to anything said in the above e-mail to me. This was his way of “voicing” what he knew I wanted to hear. I was never his best friend, the love of his life, he apologizes only to do it again, he says he will never take me for granted, he left me three weeks after this email was written. He left me once his ex-wife started to suspect something was going on. He quickly flew the coop. He had no intentions of staying with me ever. I was a pawn in his chess game. Only I was smarter than he counted on. I called him on it.
It has come to surface that he was, in fact, leading his ex-wife and me on at the same time. One of my friends casually drove by his home only to see his former wife’s car there just one week after our relationship was over. She was warned. We took the time to warn her. Anonymously, but we did. She is well aware of this behavior and continues to return to this relationship. He is her problem now. I have moved on but continue to heal from this lie. It was a really long lie that I believed. The whole relationship was a lie. I have always taken great pride in my intelligence but I was fooled.
The longer you stay, the longer the lie lives. Delete yourself from the lie.
I share this with you because strength comes with knowledge of the damage these sociopaths can cause. We believe the lies. I believed everything he said to me. Everything.
bluebell1341 – This one was a little different. He actually had no friends that I can remember other than some co-workers and at that there was no socializing with them. Just work. Yes the reason why they don’t let anyone get close enough is because they will see that he is broken and jaded. Evil and deceitful. Scary!
HF19 Said, “He never ONCE had a full belly laugh. Or a full and complete smile. A face full of joy and happiness.”
Neither did mine! After he discarded me, I did the “Text Message Terrorism” thing once- and just kept telling him how I wanted to just be friends, but that I wanted to see him LAUGH! And have FUN… That was before I found LF… Now I realize that he never can do those things.
His motto was, “Trust No One.” He didn’t socialize with co-workers and only had one friend that he mentioned to me. He was never home, however, but I never did know where he was.
The one time I caught him at home was when he turned on me, insulted me, got his coat on and walked out, telling me to make sure the door was locked when I left. I thought he was going to hit me. I felt like I had caught him watching kiddy porn or something. Then I thought that perhaps he just didn’t want me to know how pathetic his life really was.
I still wonder…
SageeGirl,
Smart girl! He could never laugh and have fun! When mine threatened a divorce, I said alright. Exactly what he wasn’t expecting. He wanted me to fight for the nothing he was giving me.
I bet your thought of him engaging in kiddie porn may not be so far off the mark. Listen to that voice within. That’s more truth than you’ll ever get from him.
Mine spoke of porn when we first were “courting”. I told him that I didn’t really care for it and of course, neither did he. But he found a way to work it in. And then I would ask him about it and he would slither his way out of answering directly. Just really perverse things. He was addicted to porn. And when I did research it said that it’s often like a drug so when you get your first taste of it, when you view it again, you have to view more in order to get that same level of high. And then it increases. The thing that scared me was that most research says it escalates. Things that they once found offensive, they would find enticing. That includes rape, children, etc.
So wonder no more! Just be thankful that he’s not in your life!
HF19, We spoke of it too, at the beginning. The conversation was about online bill paying. He said he no longer had a computer. Said that he had paid his bills online, but quit when “someone got his credit card and charged a ton of porn to it”… Said he talked to the CC company, and they took the charges off. Said that he didn’t do it….. Maybe I can get those groceries taken off mine that way…..
Two weeks ago, I was walking into the grocery store, and who is walking out with a laptop in his hand??? Yeah… Oh, yeah, and those pictures he took, but I never got any of him…and that video that didn’t come out at all- it hit me later that week when I saw his phone at his place- it wasn’t even his phone…
And I hope I’m not getting too personal here (and no disrespect to those who prefer smoothness), but he wanted to deforest me once and I told him no. I don’t have time to keep up with such nonsense, and I’ve always thought that men who wanted that didn’t want a grown woman. I’ve got better things to do with my time!
Husband spath had a laptop too!!! And when I saw it, it had tons of porn on it too. The deforesting thing is no surprise. They watch those online live videos and can request what they want. So their view of reality with a real woman is highly distorted. Absolute pervs!!
healingfast19 ..yep…I would go further and say pornography is a psychopathic genius concept…to objectify men and women and reduce them to fornicating fools…all the better to control them
I felt The P only got the sexual act part of sex…he never (really) got the emotional side of it, the feeling of union, bonding, loving…all the things that makes sex awesome…He didn’t get it..he just went through the motions…it really was a complete turn off at the end…like there was no one there??? the light was on but there was no one home…if I had really known what was on top of Me… eh? No doubt there will be a sequence of flashbacks only too happy to show me….such is the trauma of making love with the Devil without prior knowledge…..should be a crime in itself… A lie from hello to goodbye…yes Wini….as he runs down the hall never to be seen again…probably just as well ….gives you space to go into shock in peace at least…xx
“Kay” was lucky, at least she got a resemblance of an apology. What I got from the monster in my life was “if I did anything wrong…” Ha ha! IF!
BulletProof, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but sex with a N,P, or S is they use their partners as extensions of their masterbation techniques.
Wini, in hindsight I see it….and he is laughing all the way to the earths core with his pitchfork….talk about Demonising someone…I think I someonized a Demon!!
“I someoneized a demon,” love it!