A few weeks ago, Lovefraud published a letter from “Kay” —This was all about him and all about what he needed. Kay has written again, with Part 2 of her story.
It’s Kay, I am back with more memories I uncovered which were hidden in my subconscious about this sociopath. I hope this helps Lovefraud readers once again. I have taken the time to re-read some of his emails, all of them actually, trying to piece together an otherwise really, really Long Lie which consumed one-and-a-half years of my life.
Here is one of his emails where he LIES about everything he feels… WARNING — There are TRIGGERS here. I am sure you some of you have heard some or all of this before….
Like I told you the other day I don’t know what it is about you that drives me crazy.. And I don’t want to know.. I just never want it to end.. I love the way you make me feel.. You bring happiness to my life and peace to my soul.. In you I have found my destiny.. My joy.. My love of my life… My bestfriend.. My lover.. My everything.. Your love makes me feel like I’m on top of the world… You are like a drug to me… I can’t get enough of you and your love… I now understand why you sometimes acted the way you did with me.. Baby I am sorry from the bottom of my heart.. That I did that to us.. I will never take you for granted ever again.. Your my world.. Your my everything… And I live you with all my heart… Your an amazing woman and mother… And you’ll be an amazing wife… And I want to be everything that you need and want and desire in your life for ever and ever… I wouldn’t change anything in my life because it has lead me to you…
I love you baby…
Please note ALL THE ABOVE IS A LIE. There was no veracity to anything said in the above e-mail to me. This was his way of “voicing” what he knew I wanted to hear. I was never his best friend, the love of his life, he apologizes only to do it again, he says he will never take me for granted, he left me three weeks after this email was written. He left me once his ex-wife started to suspect something was going on. He quickly flew the coop. He had no intentions of staying with me ever. I was a pawn in his chess game. Only I was smarter than he counted on. I called him on it.
It has come to surface that he was, in fact, leading his ex-wife and me on at the same time. One of my friends casually drove by his home only to see his former wife’s car there just one week after our relationship was over. She was warned. We took the time to warn her. Anonymously, but we did. She is well aware of this behavior and continues to return to this relationship. He is her problem now. I have moved on but continue to heal from this lie. It was a really long lie that I believed. The whole relationship was a lie. I have always taken great pride in my intelligence but I was fooled.
The longer you stay, the longer the lie lives. Delete yourself from the lie.
I share this with you because strength comes with knowledge of the damage these sociopaths can cause. We believe the lies. I believed everything he said to me. Everything.
Oxy…your post made me CRACK UP!!!! LOLOLOLOLOL
🙂
I am 55, my willie works just fine…..thank you..But just like my neighbor Toby says. I aint as good as I once was, but I am as good once as I ever was..
hens…yeah you are the perfect jokesman but be compassionate also…you are hurting and lonely (so am i) and together somehow lets find a way…xxx
See hens……there IS a bright side!!!
Oh, Henry, sweetie, you made me so sad I got tears, I can’t boink you for what you said, but it is so SAD and so NOT TRUE—Mike was the one not good enough for YOU, not the other way around!
I wish I could bore a hole in your skull and pour in some self esteem in there, but I don’t know how to get you, YOU to BELIEVE that you are WORTHWHILE, YOU!!!! YOU!@.......!!! Hell, if I can get myself to believe it about ME, then I ought to be able to find some way to help you get it about YOU! But there I go again, trying to fix someone else.
Henry, you are a mile too good for the likes of Mike’s kind. Just as Ii am a mile too good for the P-jerk I dated who only wanted a ” respectable wife” to cheat on. That’s all Mike wanted out of you, a respectable partner to give him a place to stay and take care of him while he cheated and got fun and games and drama and chaos on the side.
They don’t want a relationship, they don’t enjoy the simple things we do, they gotta have drama and trauma, the more the better!
I so admire you for not hooking up with those married creeps etc. I hope those jack asses get something that makes their willies fall off before they get aids or something else and take it home to their wives
I don’t have a problem with two adults doing anything to each other WITH FULL DISCLOSURE, but when they ALSO have a partner who does NOT have FULL disclosure, it just isn’t right—it’s attempted murder as far as I am concerned.
It is also smart of you not to have anything to do with these guys who would screw a snake if someone would hold it, that’s the kind that DO get diseases from lots of opportunities for them.
But Henry, just cause there is no one who appreciates you, don’t get down on yourself….not no line forming out my door either! ((((hugs)))))
Hens,
You’re not alone. All of my experiences have left me with bad anxieties and doubts, and a lot of heartache, too.
I hope you stick around. I know, I don’t know you, at all… but, we’re all in the same boat. I feel strange posting amongst strangers.
But, this is a place for support, and if it makes you feel better to come here and talk with the community – even a smidge better than the other places you go, don’t stop…
Life has a way of rationing out the “good” stuff.
okie dokie oxie – I will get off my pity party cause I am not tryin to make you sad or make anyone feel sorry for me — and my self esteem has tripled over the past few years.. I really want to get to that place where I am fine alone, and I am for the most part, like I said the other day I think I am having a bout of depression, plus one of my major worries is not being as secure financially as I should be at my age – i think this brings on alot self worth issues for me – I am in a slow spot with work but soon will pick up when the heat subsides..now I feel like a cry baby..I wish I had lots of confidence and self esteem to share with you all but I am what I am…thank you Purewaters..
hens–you say, “I just cant wait to get home to my peace and serenity. I think I want someone to share this with, my simple way of life with out drama. But maybe that is selfish on my part.”
I say, this is not selfish in a bad way, IT IS WHAT YOU WANT. It is at the core of you.
Your Mike sounds just like my ex, save for he was a short, kinda round sort of hillbilly. He was exactly what I wanted in a man, AT FIRST, but he could not keep up the pretense as this was not who HE was. Turns out we begin to change ourselves to accommodate them and their way of life and end up losing ourselves.
I visit the narcissistic survivors page of FB occasionally and recently there have been quite a few postings regarding each person thinking they were the NS/P’s best source of supply. I will admit that I thought/think I was his best as well. I felt like I had come home with him. But somehow, somewhere we must be crossing lines and we can’t all be the best source, much in the same way, can we not be the reason they could not love. The ability to love is within us, you either got it or you don’t.
We are all in the same boat, wanting to find true love, connection, a sense of peace, serenity, and the thought that all is right in the world and hell can be breaking loose on the outside, but what you have in your arms when you fall asleep at night is enough to get you through the next day and all the days that follow.
If you are good enough for you, that’s all that really matters.
Hens….{{{{HUGS}}} I don’t know too many people who ARE financially secure. We decided to forego a lot of the trappings of affluence and move into a more simplistic lifestyle. Oh, we could have run up credit cards and loans to get things and make “investments,” but we have only 1 credit card with a 250 limit, and the rest is just bills, a mortgage, and a car payment. We still struggle, but nothing is CERTAIN in this lifetime.
As per the loneliness – we all get lonely, even if we have a partner! It’s just part of the human condition. In the past 2 years, I’ve learned to fill myself up with my Self – taking time to just be quiet and enjoy my personal solitude. It took some time, but I find that I don’t have to fill up the quiet with noise, chatter, or anything else, anymore. I can really enjoy working alone and living alone.
You’re a valuable human being, and an asset to those you meet.
Brightest blessings to you!!!
Henry – you are the real deal… thank you for being so open and candid and able to cover so many aspects of healing, growing and learning…
Is Toby really your neighbor. Because that happens to be a song Ive always wanted to ask him what the heck does that mean? I aint as good as I once was, but Im as good once as I ever was??? 🙂 I mean I kind of get it – but its still kind of silly to me to sing! LOL Love Toby tho!
Hope you are smiling and never stop getting boinked at LF ! xox