A few weeks ago, Lovefraud published a letter from “Kay” —This was all about him and all about what he needed. Kay has written again, with Part 2 of her story.
It’s Kay, I am back with more memories I uncovered which were hidden in my subconscious about this sociopath. I hope this helps Lovefraud readers once again. I have taken the time to re-read some of his emails, all of them actually, trying to piece together an otherwise really, really Long Lie which consumed one-and-a-half years of my life.
Here is one of his emails where he LIES about everything he feels… WARNING — There are TRIGGERS here. I am sure you some of you have heard some or all of this before….
Like I told you the other day I don’t know what it is about you that drives me crazy.. And I don’t want to know.. I just never want it to end.. I love the way you make me feel.. You bring happiness to my life and peace to my soul.. In you I have found my destiny.. My joy.. My love of my life… My bestfriend.. My lover.. My everything.. Your love makes me feel like I’m on top of the world… You are like a drug to me… I can’t get enough of you and your love… I now understand why you sometimes acted the way you did with me.. Baby I am sorry from the bottom of my heart.. That I did that to us.. I will never take you for granted ever again.. Your my world.. Your my everything… And I live you with all my heart… Your an amazing woman and mother… And you’ll be an amazing wife… And I want to be everything that you need and want and desire in your life for ever and ever… I wouldn’t change anything in my life because it has lead me to you…
I love you baby…
Please note ALL THE ABOVE IS A LIE. There was no veracity to anything said in the above e-mail to me. This was his way of “voicing” what he knew I wanted to hear. I was never his best friend, the love of his life, he apologizes only to do it again, he says he will never take me for granted, he left me three weeks after this email was written. He left me once his ex-wife started to suspect something was going on. He quickly flew the coop. He had no intentions of staying with me ever. I was a pawn in his chess game. Only I was smarter than he counted on. I called him on it.
It has come to surface that he was, in fact, leading his ex-wife and me on at the same time. One of my friends casually drove by his home only to see his former wife’s car there just one week after our relationship was over. She was warned. We took the time to warn her. Anonymously, but we did. She is well aware of this behavior and continues to return to this relationship. He is her problem now. I have moved on but continue to heal from this lie. It was a really long lie that I believed. The whole relationship was a lie. I have always taken great pride in my intelligence but I was fooled.
The longer you stay, the longer the lie lives. Delete yourself from the lie.
I share this with you because strength comes with knowledge of the damage these sociopaths can cause. We believe the lies. I believed everything he said to me. Everything.
Learning….. I have not seen your message.. but I left you one at ourspace…smiles…. My God you are beautiful!… both in heart in spirit…..Thank you for sharing your heart….and for being my friend….
~R~
Onestep You hit a nerve. I need change in my life big time, I am so stuck in this rut, and the security of my isolation. I have always wanted to be an interior designer, even when i was in high school – and I do have that talent in my landscaping with the design aspect, but I avoided that designer career choice back then because of the stigma associated with it. Peer pressure, shame and guilt for being who I am has been the downfall of my life. I am sure YOU will understand that being gay was not very acceptable back when we were young, not like it is now. I can honestly say being gay has had no positive influence in my life..If I could do it all over I would of done everything in my power to stay in my marriage, my x wife is a great friend now and she supports me in my opinion of my mother. She was happy when I met Mike, but told me soon ‘he aint for you’…it seems to be a daily struggle to keep myself esteem up enuff to function.. i dont carry a gay flag, i am not a stereotypical flaming homo..I dont have a need to tell the world I am, i dont carry a sign, but at the same time I no longer deny it if asked…I think needing to acepted for who I am would be great, but here in oklahomophobia one has to be careful still….but thanks for the comment hope you get some rest you seem to be doing well with the job I am happy for you
Hey, Henry, that’s great “Okla-homo-phobia” LOL Hey did you see the pretty cheer leader from OK that tackled the shop lifter at the mall and put his sorry arse on the ground!!!! She needs to be on the foot ball team with a tackle like that!
Henry, come on now, you can’t be any worse off than a feather-hat wearing jack-ass riding old woman swinging a skillet, and I don’t even try to hide it either!
Seriously, we gotta be who we ARE—whatever we are. And you know, I’m proud to have ya as my friend! You are a good man, and a caring man, so what’s not to like!
There’s more than one kind of talent for design…there’s more than one more place to do design too—
(((((hugs)))))
thank you Oxy – i did the anti depressants for about six months and they just made me feel crazy on top of being depressed I understand they work for some folks–usually I know why I am depressed and know that it wont last,,if things get worse i can call my therapist and try again but i think my depression is situational and will subside soon,, dont worry I am gonna be ok…work seems to help more than anything and the next four days are booked solid….I am happy that the medication works for you and please stay on them cause I dont think we would like you off of them happy pills of yours. yes ‘too thy own self be true’ its bedtime, Harley is at the bedroonm door giving me his pissed look and nasty grumpy bark that says time for bed….gnite to all and i will return with a better disposition…Teacher thanx for that utube clip ….and thoughtful words thanx to ALL that joined me in pity party…
Hey, Henry, I have PMS and a gun, any questions? Good night love! Sleep well you and Harley!
FightAnotherDay – I have felt everything you have…These are all normal feelings. Don’t give up on you! Never! This too shall pass. As long as you “DELETED” yourself from the lie, then its okay.
It kinda works like this. They tell you what you want to hear and you feel that no one knows you better than they do. No one. NO. What they do know is how to push your buttons, how to say the things they know you NEED to hear, not what the ACTUALLY FEEL. These individuals don’t feel anything really. They are devoid of any emotion. If you pay close attention or look at the archives in your mind, you will see that at no time did their feelings match their words. All talk and no action.
Kay
FightAnotherDay – Yes from my experience most Spaths are passive aggressive and if you will note – they are more so with MEN that they are with WOMEN. If the Spath is a male, he tends to be extremely aggressive with women however cowers with men.
They try to control your mind. It is brainwashing at its best. They will make you believe that your friends are your enemies, that your family is against you and that the world is against you. They are your only ally.
In actuality, they are your worst enemy…
OxDrover – You are very insightful always.
hens,
I hope you feel better about yourself real soon. I don’t think we realize how we really can inspire each other on this blog. Or how we can gain a deep respect for someone that we never even met in real life.
Henry I have always had a deep respect for you because I sense that you are a very kind hearted soul. A kind heart, in my book is the BEST quality a person might have. Number one.
So don’t sell yourself short, my dear…..We all love you Henry…And if there ever were a LF get together you would be by far the most popular guy, with all of us women!
I think we all sense that kind heart.
To this day every time I see a full moon, I think of you….Remember that night?
Hi Witty – Yes I remember that nite we all went out and looked at the full moom from different places, I felt a sense of connection. There are many times when I feel hopeless or really down and I look up at the sky and speak to my cyber friends and call out their names, and ask for strenght, and it comes. We are a special group of people, holding hands even when are not on the website.. Those are very nice things you say about me Wit…I feel tons of respect for you also and think of every bodys different challenges and situations..I did unload some pent up stuff yesterday and I feel lighter today because of it…and today my naked lillies are blooming, and I said hello too ANewlily because she spoke to me…thanks Witty and if ever you need a big hug just know i am already there……