A few weeks ago, Lovefraud published a letter from “Kay” —This was all about him and all about what he needed. Kay has written again, with Part 2 of her story.
It’s Kay, I am back with more memories I uncovered which were hidden in my subconscious about this sociopath. I hope this helps Lovefraud readers once again. I have taken the time to re-read some of his emails, all of them actually, trying to piece together an otherwise really, really Long Lie which consumed one-and-a-half years of my life.
Here is one of his emails where he LIES about everything he feels… WARNING — There are TRIGGERS here. I am sure you some of you have heard some or all of this before….
Like I told you the other day I don’t know what it is about you that drives me crazy.. And I don’t want to know.. I just never want it to end.. I love the way you make me feel.. You bring happiness to my life and peace to my soul.. In you I have found my destiny.. My joy.. My love of my life… My bestfriend.. My lover.. My everything.. Your love makes me feel like I’m on top of the world… You are like a drug to me… I can’t get enough of you and your love… I now understand why you sometimes acted the way you did with me.. Baby I am sorry from the bottom of my heart.. That I did that to us.. I will never take you for granted ever again.. Your my world.. Your my everything… And I live you with all my heart… Your an amazing woman and mother… And you’ll be an amazing wife… And I want to be everything that you need and want and desire in your life for ever and ever… I wouldn’t change anything in my life because it has lead me to you…
I love you baby…
Please note ALL THE ABOVE IS A LIE. There was no veracity to anything said in the above e-mail to me. This was his way of “voicing” what he knew I wanted to hear. I was never his best friend, the love of his life, he apologizes only to do it again, he says he will never take me for granted, he left me three weeks after this email was written. He left me once his ex-wife started to suspect something was going on. He quickly flew the coop. He had no intentions of staying with me ever. I was a pawn in his chess game. Only I was smarter than he counted on. I called him on it.
It has come to surface that he was, in fact, leading his ex-wife and me on at the same time. One of my friends casually drove by his home only to see his former wife’s car there just one week after our relationship was over. She was warned. We took the time to warn her. Anonymously, but we did. She is well aware of this behavior and continues to return to this relationship. He is her problem now. I have moved on but continue to heal from this lie. It was a really long lie that I believed. The whole relationship was a lie. I have always taken great pride in my intelligence but I was fooled.
The longer you stay, the longer the lie lives. Delete yourself from the lie.
I share this with you because strength comes with knowledge of the damage these sociopaths can cause. We believe the lies. I believed everything he said to me. Everything.
Frank Lee:
I’m sitting here with my mouth hanging open, sometimes you simply amaze me, how inappropriate you can be. I think I have seen the worst in people’s insensitivity, and then you prove me wrong again and again.
Behind blue eyes, your restraint is so admirable. I admire your attitude and rebuttal to a totally unjustified sneer.
I was about to say the same thing. Dear Blue_eyes, you were more dignified then than I would have been.
blue eyes, ditto from me on the oxy & verity posts above.
Dear Blue eyes, I believe you! And hope your head doesn’t hurt too much! I only whapped you out of love and concern and I hope you know that. It is so damned hard to let it go, to let the what ifs float off in to never never land.
It doesn’t matter if you were involved with him a month or a decade, it hurts to be deceived—by them, and also it hurts that we deceived ourselves as well.
LOGICALLY you know he is just another piece of TRASH, gay or straight it doesn’t matter, they are TRASH that are just looking for a sexual hook up and/or a place to freeload.
He has little in any way to offer someone, especially someone who has more than a 6th grade education, an IQ over 75, and lives in anything above a cardboard box. People who depend on their ticket in life being their looks, eventually, if they live long enough are going to be left with a ticket that isn’t worth much. It really doesn’t make much difference how young and beautiful you were, it is going to change as you get older, no matter what you do about it—good life style or good surgeon—we all get older. If looks are all we had, then we are SOL eventually.
And no longer than I have read your posts or answered them here on LF, I have NO doubt that you are more than “about your looks” and that you may have some “issues” (don’t we ALL!?) but being the kind of trash Jamie is isn’t one of those issues. ((((Hugs)))))
I had no idea Behind blue eyes was Gay. I though he was a woman. My mistake. Sorry.
Apart form this innocent mistake no offense was meant.
OxDrover – stop being so dramatic, I made a harmless mistake. you make it sound like I was on some kind of homophocix rampage. I wasn’t.
Behind Blue Eyes,
Thank you for receiving my post as it was intended…to try to understand as well offer other ways for you to focus, heal, concentrate, etc. Im all for getting it all out… I just want to make sure you are getting out the parts you really need to. In your recent post above you started to go where I think you should try to go…getting out about feeling obsessive and what youre doing with your time, talking about feeling embarrassed and getting out what thats all about, your reasons (length of relationship, type of person, being stuck in this place, etc.)…we all have been embarrassed too, so no you are not alone.
This is what helped me when I was at my worst. Finally coming into focusing on me, my mind, my thoughts, my hurt, my anger, my pain. And reminding myself:
X is gone. The relationship is over. X was not meant to be in my life long term. It was an unhealthy connection. In our lifetime we all will experience healthy and unhealthy relationships. I can choose to learn and grow from both. At some point it no longer is about them it becomes about us and being stuck.
I wish we could create a dialogue about when it becomes about us – and what it is about us – our weaknesses – our compassion – our lack of being able to love ourselves enough to see the positives of them being gone and how weve grown or can grow and go on to embrace the life ahead of us…not behind us..not our past…but our future.
Frank Lee-
Thank you for clarifying that you thought Blue Eyes was a female.
Without the clarification it did appear you were being inappropriate and insensitive. Oxy wasnt being dramatic, just protective 🙂
Enough of this mess. Here I go.
J3, 4 and 5 is me. When I first saw j6, I laughed and said to myself “nice picture, but you don’t look like that anymore, I look more like you than you do.” I guess the laugh was on me…
This is why it is so hard for me. I can trash all his pictures and stop looking at Facebook.
I cannot stop looking in mirrors.
Ok Behind Blue Eyes…
So start with that. TRASH all his pictures. STOp looking at Facebook.
Now about you resembling eachother. there are so many couples who do, who have… even some married folk look like brother and sister. In fact we are attracted to people who mirror facial structure/body structure the same as ours.
You looked in the mirror at yourself before meeting him so there is no reason you need to stop looking in mirrors at YOURSELF now. You are two totally different people and as Shabby Chic said (spot on by the way SC:)) ” they look like two totally different people in each picture” – because they are!!
Ok so now we can make progress, you shared this today so you CAN delete all of his pictures and make a promise to never go to his FB. Jamie is out of your life. Now what….
behind_blue_eyes
You really are Jamie aren’t you?