A few weeks ago, Lovefraud published a letter from “Kay” —This was all about him and all about what he needed. Kay has written again, with Part 2 of her story.
It’s Kay, I am back with more memories I uncovered which were hidden in my subconscious about this sociopath. I hope this helps Lovefraud readers once again. I have taken the time to re-read some of his emails, all of them actually, trying to piece together an otherwise really, really Long Lie which consumed one-and-a-half years of my life.
Here is one of his emails where he LIES about everything he feels… WARNING — There are TRIGGERS here. I am sure you some of you have heard some or all of this before….
Like I told you the other day I don’t know what it is about you that drives me crazy.. And I don’t want to know.. I just never want it to end.. I love the way you make me feel.. You bring happiness to my life and peace to my soul.. In you I have found my destiny.. My joy.. My love of my life… My bestfriend.. My lover.. My everything.. Your love makes me feel like I’m on top of the world… You are like a drug to me… I can’t get enough of you and your love… I now understand why you sometimes acted the way you did with me.. Baby I am sorry from the bottom of my heart.. That I did that to us.. I will never take you for granted ever again.. Your my world.. Your my everything… And I live you with all my heart… Your an amazing woman and mother… And you’ll be an amazing wife… And I want to be everything that you need and want and desire in your life for ever and ever… I wouldn’t change anything in my life because it has lead me to you…
I love you baby…
Please note ALL THE ABOVE IS A LIE. There was no veracity to anything said in the above e-mail to me. This was his way of “voicing” what he knew I wanted to hear. I was never his best friend, the love of his life, he apologizes only to do it again, he says he will never take me for granted, he left me three weeks after this email was written. He left me once his ex-wife started to suspect something was going on. He quickly flew the coop. He had no intentions of staying with me ever. I was a pawn in his chess game. Only I was smarter than he counted on. I called him on it.
It has come to surface that he was, in fact, leading his ex-wife and me on at the same time. One of my friends casually drove by his home only to see his former wife’s car there just one week after our relationship was over. She was warned. We took the time to warn her. Anonymously, but we did. She is well aware of this behavior and continues to return to this relationship. He is her problem now. I have moved on but continue to heal from this lie. It was a really long lie that I believed. The whole relationship was a lie. I have always taken great pride in my intelligence but I was fooled.
The longer you stay, the longer the lie lives. Delete yourself from the lie.
I share this with you because strength comes with knowledge of the damage these sociopaths can cause. We believe the lies. I believed everything he said to me. Everything.
Bulletproof –
Huh? Ya think so? Hmmmm… I dont think so… why do you think that? I think he is saying he even looked like him too.
what I mean is, and I am also being honest…and I feel he is so obsessed with Jamie, he has morphed into Jamie…it’s Jamie morning noon and night…Jamie this that and the other…I feel a little edgy talking about someone (Jamie) who does not know they are posted here…psychopath or not..I feel uneasy that’s all…and I have to listen…and will listen to my gut…and that’s my gut response…I feel Jamie is here…not behind blue eyes…and what’s behind the blue eyes…I need reassurance here…have a real uneasy feeling, that’s all…if I’m wrong fair enough..I’ll apologise…something is not right…honesty has been this posters way to our trust…but he was not honest about the photographs….not up front…and Frank Lee is also ‘confused’ that is also relevant….he didn’t mean it in a bad way (only in my opinion)…he was just responding to something and it may be relevant….come in blue eyes and explain…or don’t…whatever….there are 2 VERY distinctly DIFFERENT men in the photos…this is a site for people who have experienced all kinds of fraudulent crazy making behavior so it ‘s going to have to be normal to be suspicious…an ok person won’t take offense with that…
Oh, I see.
Definitely have to go with your gut … I guess Behind Blue Eyes will be able to explain it best.
I think Frank Lee was innocently mistaken thinking Blue Eyes was a woman.
I think Behind Blue Eyes is just opening up and being honest with himself and us about the difficulty he is having not only moving on, but being very stuck and getting to a place where its difficult not to let the mind play tricks, not be so obsessed, and struggling with a way out of this mess the relationship created and that he is living with.
But we can all agree, and Behind Blue Eyes agrees as well, its not getting any healthier or more healing for him – so may need to come up with plan b to help you with dealing with this.
learning
Of course and I would support anyone in that aim…just need to hear from behind blue eyes so I can understand what seems to me to be a deliberate build up…. using photos and…” wait till you see what happens next” …very quick trust…So soon….open book at the drop of a hat..thanks for being here and responding
Bulletproof, if there’s one thing we learn from this experience it’s to listen to the small voice inside, so nobody should ever query you doing that. And a healthy and normal functional person will listen to both sides and decide just as you are doing. I’m sorry but I haven’t read Frank Lee’s posts before and thought the gay posts were pretty strange. Now I’m wondering if he’s also the same person. (I read often but don’t post much.) Frank, if you’re legit, I apologise in advance.
But see how quickly paranoia sets in with me once I even go there. Hypervigilance is my middle name for now.
verity
Thanks so much for saying that!! I was struggling a bit and worrying, you are right…of course it would be understanable if I did get it arseways…no I do not thing Frank is the same person!! he is a very different person but did get confused here also…and I listen to confusion..its my radar for something is up…when people ignore feeling confused and automatically give the person the benefit of the doubt…most people will be vigilant with an angry person… but not a very nice honest person…
I don’t know if this adds confusion or clarity but Jamie’s real name is Jon, as in Jonathan and mine is John.
The photos are of two people. Since the photos of me were taken about the same time, j3,4,5 do look the most like the same person. Jon’s pictures are probably 5 years apart and more.
One reason for showing the pictures was not only to demonstrate my greatest problem with all this, but also by highlighting his online “fraud,” it reminds me of the big lie he is.
Funny, a reason why I don’t use online dating anymore is that when I put a picture of me online, people think I am lying! I was 39 in those pictures, in j4, I look like I am 19 or something, which is what Jon really wanted. Me yes, but not a 39 year-old me, a 19 or 20-something me. That is his loss.
At least if I did meet somebody in person, I would not have to squirm around why I look so young in the pictures and quite a bit older in person.
PS I am not mean, but had to say that one.
Guys, go easy on me. In the last year and a half, I have had open-heart surgery, been in a relationship with a sociopath and I am in a legal battle with my former employer over my illegal termination, with a huge amount of money at stake and still unresolved.
I was getting better, I had a regression as I became depressed of the summer. I was isolated, lonely and obsessing. I am still a couple of months from being 100% and actually raring to go now that I am feeling much better.
I am doing this not only to open up about things I never talked about to anybody, but to show how particularly difficult even a short-term relationship with a sociopath can be, even for somebody who is attractive, well-educated and is about to be very, very well-off (again) financially.
I can’t see any resemblance between j5 and any of the others. I think I need to stop looking. It’s boggling to this tired old mind.
Blue_eyes {{hugs}} “even a short-term relationship” has an impact when we’re talking about an encounter with a sociopath. At this point, thank your lucky STARS that it was short-termed!!!! Can you imagine how you would have fared had your relationship with that THING droned on for a few years?
Today, you are much better than you were six months ago. Tomorrow, you’ll be even better still! Every day that takes us away from that farking insanity is a GOOD DAY!!
Brightest blessings to you.