A few weeks ago, Lovefraud published a letter from “Kay” —This was all about him and all about what he needed. Kay has written again, with Part 2 of her story.
It’s Kay, I am back with more memories I uncovered which were hidden in my subconscious about this sociopath. I hope this helps Lovefraud readers once again. I have taken the time to re-read some of his emails, all of them actually, trying to piece together an otherwise really, really Long Lie which consumed one-and-a-half years of my life.
Here is one of his emails where he LIES about everything he feels… WARNING — There are TRIGGERS here. I am sure you some of you have heard some or all of this before….
Like I told you the other day I don’t know what it is about you that drives me crazy.. And I don’t want to know.. I just never want it to end.. I love the way you make me feel.. You bring happiness to my life and peace to my soul.. In you I have found my destiny.. My joy.. My love of my life… My bestfriend.. My lover.. My everything.. Your love makes me feel like I’m on top of the world… You are like a drug to me… I can’t get enough of you and your love… I now understand why you sometimes acted the way you did with me.. Baby I am sorry from the bottom of my heart.. That I did that to us.. I will never take you for granted ever again.. Your my world.. Your my everything… And I live you with all my heart… Your an amazing woman and mother… And you’ll be an amazing wife… And I want to be everything that you need and want and desire in your life for ever and ever… I wouldn’t change anything in my life because it has lead me to you…
I love you baby…
Please note ALL THE ABOVE IS A LIE. There was no veracity to anything said in the above e-mail to me. This was his way of “voicing” what he knew I wanted to hear. I was never his best friend, the love of his life, he apologizes only to do it again, he says he will never take me for granted, he left me three weeks after this email was written. He left me once his ex-wife started to suspect something was going on. He quickly flew the coop. He had no intentions of staying with me ever. I was a pawn in his chess game. Only I was smarter than he counted on. I called him on it.
It has come to surface that he was, in fact, leading his ex-wife and me on at the same time. One of my friends casually drove by his home only to see his former wife’s car there just one week after our relationship was over. She was warned. We took the time to warn her. Anonymously, but we did. She is well aware of this behavior and continues to return to this relationship. He is her problem now. I have moved on but continue to heal from this lie. It was a really long lie that I believed. The whole relationship was a lie. I have always taken great pride in my intelligence but I was fooled.
The longer you stay, the longer the lie lives. Delete yourself from the lie.
I share this with you because strength comes with knowledge of the damage these sociopaths can cause. We believe the lies. I believed everything he said to me. Everything.
Behind blue eyes,
Its probably important to talk about being isolated and lonely and how obsessing/depression/addiction and ruminating can make life after any rejection and or loss, particularly difficult – most especially when recovering from a relationship with a disordered person.
Focusing on recovering, techniques, solutions, and ACTING on them will all aide in recovering and healing…
Thank you for sharing and hope you do know you are not alone. Have you trashed his pictures yet? 🙂
Dear Blue eyes, You are a real cutey, especially J5. 🙂
I’m sorry to hear you have had such a rough year, but here’s to hoping things will improvefrom here on out…
I mean no disrespect by this, but your dillemna reminds me of the Narcissis myth. Are you familiar? I am bringing thisup mostly to point out the dangers of the obsession, and to suggest that it’s time to move on.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissus_(mythology
The central theme in the book, “Obsessive Love” is that obsessionis fueled by rejection. Do you feel terribly rejected by J? Are you accepting you? “Acceptanceis the key to all of my problems today……”. Do you recognize that?
Blue Eyes, I just popped in … didn’t read all that you wrote … but I knew you were gay. You stated this a few days back.
Anyway, I’ll read what all you folks are writing about later. Going out for pizza in a few …
Blue Eyes, it doesn’t matter how long you were involved with a Spath … the amount of time doesn’t count, for they can still suck the life out of you even if they passed you on the street and wanted to target a total stranger.
Thank God “they” can’t take our spirits … even though they do believe they are a god.
Peace to your heart and soul as you heal from this heel.
verity….wtf?? pity ploy…bragging…not hearing a word that has been said…and that’s just me…ha ha ha stay safe…do not strain….surround yourself in white light until its gone!!!! and I swear I will apologise if I am in ptsd…
behind_blue_eyes
it’s good to hear you are now raring to go, and are attractive, well educated and about to be very well off again financially, you have fought back from your problems…that is admirable..you will be very attractive to a new partner…so why don’t you forget about Jamie and find someone new? and your name is very like one step….with the underlines…
Bulletproof, I know. I was taken back in time for a bit and I didn’t like it at all. I’m too scared to say anything now! Are you sure you’re not him too? 😉 I will apologise too, and never post again and just keep on reading. Maybe it’s me? Yes, mantras and white light RIGHT NOW.
Are the dates that the photos are taken on accurate on flickr? Have a look. Not uploaded — taken.
I do not blame you for thinking I’m involved because I have never followed my gut as closely as this!!!no I’m only involved to the extent I can see it this time, which is great…and I still could be very wrong, totally paranoid and will have to apologise..that’s okay…would welcome that scenario…but in the meantime…I’m glad you are here…and we are both in the white light right now..just know we can just walk away from this…whenever we want.
Girls, I noticed the similarities in the typed names a while back, and have just been observing ever since.
When you think of what poor one_step went through, and how many ‘characters’ can belong to one spath — yuck! And Kim, it’s been a long time since I was called a girl. That felt good, lol. 🙂