A few weeks ago, Lovefraud published a letter from “Kay” —This was all about him and all about what he needed. Kay has written again, with Part 2 of her story.
It’s Kay, I am back with more memories I uncovered which were hidden in my subconscious about this sociopath. I hope this helps Lovefraud readers once again. I have taken the time to re-read some of his emails, all of them actually, trying to piece together an otherwise really, really Long Lie which consumed one-and-a-half years of my life.
Here is one of his emails where he LIES about everything he feels… WARNING — There are TRIGGERS here. I am sure you some of you have heard some or all of this before….
Like I told you the other day I don’t know what it is about you that drives me crazy.. And I don’t want to know.. I just never want it to end.. I love the way you make me feel.. You bring happiness to my life and peace to my soul.. In you I have found my destiny.. My joy.. My love of my life… My bestfriend.. My lover.. My everything.. Your love makes me feel like I’m on top of the world… You are like a drug to me… I can’t get enough of you and your love… I now understand why you sometimes acted the way you did with me.. Baby I am sorry from the bottom of my heart.. That I did that to us.. I will never take you for granted ever again.. Your my world.. Your my everything… And I live you with all my heart… Your an amazing woman and mother… And you’ll be an amazing wife… And I want to be everything that you need and want and desire in your life for ever and ever… I wouldn’t change anything in my life because it has lead me to you…
I love you baby…
Please note ALL THE ABOVE IS A LIE. There was no veracity to anything said in the above e-mail to me. This was his way of “voicing” what he knew I wanted to hear. I was never his best friend, the love of his life, he apologizes only to do it again, he says he will never take me for granted, he left me three weeks after this email was written. He left me once his ex-wife started to suspect something was going on. He quickly flew the coop. He had no intentions of staying with me ever. I was a pawn in his chess game. Only I was smarter than he counted on. I called him on it.
It has come to surface that he was, in fact, leading his ex-wife and me on at the same time. One of my friends casually drove by his home only to see his former wife’s car there just one week after our relationship was over. She was warned. We took the time to warn her. Anonymously, but we did. She is well aware of this behavior and continues to return to this relationship. He is her problem now. I have moved on but continue to heal from this lie. It was a really long lie that I believed. The whole relationship was a lie. I have always taken great pride in my intelligence but I was fooled.
The longer you stay, the longer the lie lives. Delete yourself from the lie.
I share this with you because strength comes with knowledge of the damage these sociopaths can cause. We believe the lies. I believed everything he said to me. Everything.
FAD – i like your using ‘ignore’ on your cell phone to designate the spath! I am going to use that one!
Delta1 – your post to FAD about boundaries is great. I am going to print it off and read it a few times. I am in a new work environment and I am going to learn some new boundary setting techniques. i don’t want to be ‘so accommodating’ any freaking longer.
the spath used to yammer on about people needing to be flexible and so have a couple of my dysfucntional employers. I always aspired….but there is no end to the contortions and i want to practice BOUNDARIES instead of emotional calisthenics!
Genevieve79
Yes the close up psychic encounter with evil is hard to describe to people who have not experienced it….but I think the psychic ability is yours not hers, YOU think of her and she rings…etc some of that is intuition trying to warn you to watch this it’s dangerous.
The P had a power…but it was his complete lack of conscience..he would use his instinct like a tracker to lead him to the stuff he wants…and it isn’t love, or spirit or a happy ending….it’s material things, duping people as a sport and laughing at people caught up in emotions he does not have.
There is an animal instinct…not supernatural powers but maybe they are one in the same thing….he knew how to twist the knife for maximum pain value but I knew there was a space in my mind he could never get to, and that was my spiritual grasp of life over his material grasp over me…I win out…IF I can shed him from my energy
every child woman and man murdered at the hands of these monsters always win out in the end…there is an untouched part that the creeps can never have…and that’s the spirit…or the soul…and if they can’t have it… they unconsciously want to snuff it out in anyone who has….but it never goes out…no matter what the morons do
I often think of missing people, murdered children, people….their spirit still lives on along side the eternal black nothingness of a psychopath….enough…now time to go out and breathe the air and enjoy this beautiful day in front of me, I appreciate it more since the P…Sageegirl talked about feeling sorry for them eventually…I can see that happening….in time.
My x-spath internalized at lot of anger and masked it with his small stature and british charm. Even in my short time with him, I was several instances, all directed at me or something I did. Each time, it was an action or gesture on my part raising the intimacy level. After once such incident, I even remember thinking that this guy has intimacy problems unlike any I had ever seen.
Everyone has issues and one of the many reasons I “connected” with him was a sense that we not only has some common ones, but there were issue in me he could fix and that there were issue in him I could fix. If you could make one “Jhon” out of the two of us, that person would be exactly what each wanted for themselves.
One of his main issues is his small stature. He is only 5’8″, thin build, no musculature. Everything physical about him is small. Physique is not my problem; I am tall, athletic, very strong. The thought of somebody with my strength and his sociopathic, sadomasochistic mind is frightening.
Oh, there the post is SageeGirl. Charged twice by a mother bear! Good grief. Anyway, you asked if I shouldn’t be giving my anger to the spath, but I can’t speak to him any more without losing what is left of my mind. He said last time that he should have knocked some sense into me when he had the chance. Can’t speak to that …
“Poolicious”.by Red Flag” –Bulletproof, you always make me smile. Thanks for that. x
Hi Verity, I think what I was asking is that can you direct your anger at him in some way? I don’t mean physically, I mean internally- or whatever the correct way of doing it would be… I’m no therapist, and I have no intentions of going to one- so I don’t know much about “how to deal”— except to crawl until I can walk and then to “fake it till I make it!
I have a tendency to become paralyzed when I am angered or in shock over something- to the point that I can’t say anything. Maybe that’s better than lashing out- who knows?
Yes, BP, I thought your idea was brilliant…do you work in marketing or something?
aw thanks folks! I’m glad you enjoyed my marketing story…no I don’t work in marketing…just forced to consider being conned by a psychopath…and how their reasoning is actually logical and rational..that’s the scary thing…people surmise..well she was really stupid to fall for that in the first place….and it’s a good lesson…kinda plays into their hands doesn’t it? they get off scot free….
Sageegirl that sounds like the ‘freeze’ response ….Rabbit in the headlights…it would also indicate good ability to deny what’s going on and kind of ‘ hope it goes away’ which is a useless defence against Mr. Despicable
Charged twice by a mother bear!!!you ran then..that’s because it’s obvious danger..but with these slime balls you don’t know what the hell is going on until it’s too late and then left devastated as the truth unfolds…it’s never obvious with a P they are the artful dodgers, the tricksters…like you didn’t already know but I just feel this need to describe it every day at least once so I can be free the rest of the day…
‘remind yourself of the obvious so that it doesn’t become invisible’
don’t know where i found that quote, but i put it on the front page of my daytime for 2009
bp – the poolicious piece was really really smart. and i AM a marketer. 🙂
oh are you? well thank you very much!! how are you doing? you sound …I don’t know much much stronger…more energy…how’s the neurofeedback going?