A few weeks ago, Lovefraud published a letter from “Kay” —This was all about him and all about what he needed. Kay has written again, with Part 2 of her story.
It’s Kay, I am back with more memories I uncovered which were hidden in my subconscious about this sociopath. I hope this helps Lovefraud readers once again. I have taken the time to re-read some of his emails, all of them actually, trying to piece together an otherwise really, really Long Lie which consumed one-and-a-half years of my life.
Here is one of his emails where he LIES about everything he feels… WARNING — There are TRIGGERS here. I am sure you some of you have heard some or all of this before….
Like I told you the other day I don’t know what it is about you that drives me crazy.. And I don’t want to know.. I just never want it to end.. I love the way you make me feel.. You bring happiness to my life and peace to my soul.. In you I have found my destiny.. My joy.. My love of my life… My bestfriend.. My lover.. My everything.. Your love makes me feel like I’m on top of the world… You are like a drug to me… I can’t get enough of you and your love… I now understand why you sometimes acted the way you did with me.. Baby I am sorry from the bottom of my heart.. That I did that to us.. I will never take you for granted ever again.. Your my world.. Your my everything… And I live you with all my heart… Your an amazing woman and mother… And you’ll be an amazing wife… And I want to be everything that you need and want and desire in your life for ever and ever… I wouldn’t change anything in my life because it has lead me to you…
I love you baby…
Please note ALL THE ABOVE IS A LIE. There was no veracity to anything said in the above e-mail to me. This was his way of “voicing” what he knew I wanted to hear. I was never his best friend, the love of his life, he apologizes only to do it again, he says he will never take me for granted, he left me three weeks after this email was written. He left me once his ex-wife started to suspect something was going on. He quickly flew the coop. He had no intentions of staying with me ever. I was a pawn in his chess game. Only I was smarter than he counted on. I called him on it.
It has come to surface that he was, in fact, leading his ex-wife and me on at the same time. One of my friends casually drove by his home only to see his former wife’s car there just one week after our relationship was over. She was warned. We took the time to warn her. Anonymously, but we did. She is well aware of this behavior and continues to return to this relationship. He is her problem now. I have moved on but continue to heal from this lie. It was a really long lie that I believed. The whole relationship was a lie. I have always taken great pride in my intelligence but I was fooled.
The longer you stay, the longer the lie lives. Delete yourself from the lie.
I share this with you because strength comes with knowledge of the damage these sociopaths can cause. We believe the lies. I believed everything he said to me. Everything.
the neurofeedback is da bomb! really making a huge difference. i have distinctly heard happy in my voice a few times in the last week.
and having a paycheck. omg. having a paycheck. a good one. and with the paycheck came the car rental and with the car rental came some freedom that i can’t achieve with my effed up in pain body, and psychologically that is amazing for me.
one step. one step,no, two steps forward. lost of nerves and fear around a few things, feel real vulnerable about them…but there is progress.
wow that’s just great! good for you! major steps forward…you took alot of action that made a difference and it’s so cool to see all the posting and talking…really coming on leaps and bounds.
The vulnerability is hard, I hear you on that one…the feeling like a walking wounded only everyone thinks you are fine…there is nothing to signal that we have been really hurt…and under pressure it’s tough not splurting out what happened to send this life off the tracks….
One-step! Now I get to give YOU a great big TOWANDA!!!Xxx I just started working ‘properly’ too, the proper paycheck that goes with it is a big relief… I plan to spend the next two years paying everything off I can possibly pay off and building up some savings again. I still dont drive (??!! I know!!!!) but I will be by the end of this year you mark my words… yes, transport = freedom to do stuff! Even if its just taking crap to the TIP!:)
blueskies
Congratulations!! how resiliant you truly are…Little by little we can get it back…get it ALL back…. xx
Resiliant IS NOT a word I’d ever use to describe me. But i’ll take it.x Thank you Bullet:)xx
this is COMPLETELY random but I read this book last night, it was good. I love this woman’s grown up books… her Winter and Summer books are beautiful… I grew up with her children’s character’s… and her ‘CREEPS’ now hold a whole new meaning for me:)
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2009/nov/07/tove-jansson-true-deceiver
Okay here’s a scenario — Husband calls wife sounded excited as he shares with her that the man who was killed recently in an auto accident in our neighborhood was the husband of he couple we recently met at neighbors social. Wife waited as he continued to jolt her memory as there were many couples there. You know, the one with the real pretty face, but kind of big, where she worked and that they loved to fish and hunt. Wife now understands which couple. Husband goes on to tell that her husband had just retired from the Army and that this woman had showed up where he worked to have her car fixed. Husband says, I didn’t know it was the same couple we met at party and I asked this woman how was her husband. Husband then says, oh and she wanted to see about calling (me) to get her sons hair fixed. The whole time I’m listening to husband tell this story of what just happened. Feeling sick in my gut. Not understanding why. Then it hit me, never once did husband say how sorry he felt for the family, or that he felt like a fool for asking how her husband was.
So, I sat there for 30 minutes after I hung up and just felt sick. Beating myself up and desperately looking for a reason to justify husbands reaction to this.
I want others opinions, am I the crazy one. I will tell you what I concluded about the whole thing.
too many husbands..not enough time….but I will guess your husband has no empathy? no shame barometer…no soul..no feelings and yes you would feel so sick….I have felt the same in relation to the P who would not show any sympathy for animals and babies….sorry if you can’t do that then I’m lost and in trouble…I dedicate the rest of my life to loving animals and children because of the P….so he is doing the planet a service…what do YOU need to do????
Joyfull:
With little info…..
I’m thinking your husband ‘may’ be having an affair……..or thinking about this with this woman.
He’s trying to familiarize you with her and use your empathy to hide behind.
That’s my take.
That was my instinctive take on it too EB. I also agree at the lack of empathy for the loss for the family.
So what’s with your marriage and thoughts about this Joyful? Why the questions in the first place?
Ditto.