A few weeks ago, Lovefraud published a letter from “Kay” —This was all about him and all about what he needed. Kay has written again, with Part 2 of her story.
It’s Kay, I am back with more memories I uncovered which were hidden in my subconscious about this sociopath. I hope this helps Lovefraud readers once again. I have taken the time to re-read some of his emails, all of them actually, trying to piece together an otherwise really, really Long Lie which consumed one-and-a-half years of my life.
Here is one of his emails where he LIES about everything he feels… WARNING — There are TRIGGERS here. I am sure you some of you have heard some or all of this before….
Like I told you the other day I don’t know what it is about you that drives me crazy.. And I don’t want to know.. I just never want it to end.. I love the way you make me feel.. You bring happiness to my life and peace to my soul.. In you I have found my destiny.. My joy.. My love of my life… My bestfriend.. My lover.. My everything.. Your love makes me feel like I’m on top of the world… You are like a drug to me… I can’t get enough of you and your love… I now understand why you sometimes acted the way you did with me.. Baby I am sorry from the bottom of my heart.. That I did that to us.. I will never take you for granted ever again.. Your my world.. Your my everything… And I live you with all my heart… Your an amazing woman and mother… And you’ll be an amazing wife… And I want to be everything that you need and want and desire in your life for ever and ever… I wouldn’t change anything in my life because it has lead me to you…
I love you baby…
Please note ALL THE ABOVE IS A LIE. There was no veracity to anything said in the above e-mail to me. This was his way of “voicing” what he knew I wanted to hear. I was never his best friend, the love of his life, he apologizes only to do it again, he says he will never take me for granted, he left me three weeks after this email was written. He left me once his ex-wife started to suspect something was going on. He quickly flew the coop. He had no intentions of staying with me ever. I was a pawn in his chess game. Only I was smarter than he counted on. I called him on it.
It has come to surface that he was, in fact, leading his ex-wife and me on at the same time. One of my friends casually drove by his home only to see his former wife’s car there just one week after our relationship was over. She was warned. We took the time to warn her. Anonymously, but we did. She is well aware of this behavior and continues to return to this relationship. He is her problem now. I have moved on but continue to heal from this lie. It was a really long lie that I believed. The whole relationship was a lie. I have always taken great pride in my intelligence but I was fooled.
The longer you stay, the longer the lie lives. Delete yourself from the lie.
I share this with you because strength comes with knowledge of the damage these sociopaths can cause. We believe the lies. I believed everything he said to me. Everything.
Oxy-I can always blow it away on the shooting range. It’s amazing how I can go there feeling so bad and sad and I come out with targets full of bullseyes and then my confidence is to high. I can’t believe how I feel when I come out of there.
It’s really hard to talk about all this again. It’s so easy for all ya’ll to say how it’s the lie but I was there. I heard his voice. I looked in his eyes and I felt him. I know they can be actors but I don’t know how someone could possibly fake the way he was with me.
I want to be out of here so bad. I’m tired of being triggered. I can’t handle running into him and being in the elevator with her was a huge trigger when I had PMS. I have totally regressed into –I don’t even know what. I’m not healing right. Everything you say to me makes sense and my head understands it. My heart just can’t get it. My heart keeps saying that he loved me and it won’t stop.
WHY HE CAN’T LOVE has some great interviews from men themselves and how they were with women and told them they “loved” them and then left the same day and never looked back. Worth reading….
My own socio-sister was at my house telling her b/f at the time, in front of all of us, how he was her soulmate…loved him…glad to find him….and she was all over him.
The next day she came to my house and said….”I can’t stand him…its over.” First hand experience. I felt SO sorry for this guy…..she didn’t.
When you are with a “disordered” person, this is what you get. In this book, it tells how to spot one…a “married” one, cheating, is a VERY obvious one!
The book was staring at me at a yard sale, so I picked it up.
Read it in one day…..excellent insight to understand these “types”.
And…they learn young. My 15 yr old daughter’s first “love” came on strong…texting all day how he “loved” her….and he is KNOWN, which I didn’t know until it was too late…for doing this to all of the girls! He lovebombs them, since he is the number one hottie in school….then wants sex. If they don’t give in…he’s gone in two weeks.
She learned young…..talk is cheap.
Wow-the drama queen of New Jersey tells me all about how life is—good times!
It’s up to US to protect ourselves…more programs need to be available to young women. Get them young….and teach them “people skills” so they don’t do what we did. ….ignore the signs from the start.
When I was 21, I met a sociopath, and was even warned about him. He was my first socio. I ignored the signs…got heavily involved and it was too late. I was lovebombed….and sucked in. He used me…borrowwed money…and I felt sorry for him, even though a guy he borrowwed a huge amount of money from, and didn’t pay him back, warned me!
I was emotionally on a high with all of his attention and lovebombing. Typical young woman…naive. Even my socio mom warned me that he is “bad news”.
He targetted me…being so “sweet”….lied and lied and used me for money, my car, sex…..and I bought it all!
It was a toxic relationship from the start. Funny thing, when I met my xhusband socio, he reminded me so much of this guy! And that was ten yrs later!!! Rinse and repeat….they even looked alike! Only I married this one, and had 3 kids with him.
Looking back, I really wasn’t educated about “people”, men especially….until now. I never heard of “socios”….I heard of “con artist”….but I didn’t want to believe that these guys…who lovebombed me and I “thought” adored me, were disordered. I was living a “fairytale” world….so “in love” with a man who was a complete phony….selfish socio.
Well….I’m trying to help. I worked hard to get where I am today…and as Mark Twain says…”youth is wasted on the young”…..My mission is to educated my own daughters first and foremost. Then, maybe, after two more surgeries on my legs…I can get back to school…and get a counselling degree and work in a domestic violence counselling center. (dream).
At my old age…..don’t know if I have the energy to do it…but its an idea.
Oh, btw…the young boy that “loved” my daughter, is a bully, has been in lots of trouble with the law….father is absentee…mother works and has never been home…he is so cute, and sweet, and charming and even had me in tears when he told me of his “sad” life!!!
He is a socio….and has broke alot of hearts already…and he’s only 17!!!!
They are OUT THERE!!! And, I read that our techincal society is breeding more…and they are able to manipulate more now, with “texting” and nonverbal communication….computers….online dating sites…etc.
So, they aren’t going anywhere…its only getting worse. Thats why I need to teach my girls SKILLS to be able to handle themselves socially out there!!!
My theme song is….
“This time baby, I’ll be BULLETPROOF !”
Great song!
“Youth is wasted on the young”–George Bernard Shaw, actually. I guess that is yet another way to knock me because I’m younger?