Editor’s Note. Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a woman who we’ll call “Ursula.” Nine times, Ursula has filed a restraining order against her husband. Eight times she dropped it. She is due in court within a couple of weeks on the ninth order. He is pressing her to drop it, and she is wavering.
It has been 8 long years, 9 restraining orders and a child and marriage together. From the first date he brought 2 roses, one because I was beautiful, the second in I was worth it at the end of the date, go figure. Then he let me into the passenger’s side of the car and he came into through the drivier’s side and said I failed because I didn’t reach over and unlock his door before he got in.
Well, from there it became deep and full of drama, blamed, shamed, thrown out of cars pregnant, pitting wars between his family and I, lying about me to everyone so I would look bad and not him, lied about the abuse, told me to “shut the fuck up” on a daily basis, diabolical whore, devil woman, slut, stupid bitch, etc. Made me cry and then beg him to forgive me, for what I have no idea, I never knew how to love him right or be a good wife, mother, etc.
Nine Final Restraining orders that I dropped, except for this last one. He is telling me to do the right thing and vindicate him and clear his name because he is not an abuser, and I need to lie and say I committed perjury! Do the right thing, he says, and then HE will consider coming back to me after I build the bridge! Says he never abused me, I am psycho, crazy, turned his whole family against me and my own.
I feel totally alone and he has left us in financial ruin, and has no remorse, it’s all about him and his needs. He took everything I had, where do I go from here when I am so depressed and brainwashed?? DO i drop it again?? Or do I stay alone devastated and totally mind-screwed.
Rosa
Erin Brock:
I like the misters filled with wasp spray idea.
I am also a big fan of paint.
Because when someone steps into a tray full of paint, they will track it all over the neighborhood as they try to escape.
Then you will be able to track these cock roaches.
I think a combo of these 2 ideas would be effective.
P.S. Night vision goggles are not just for the military anymore….get yourself some camouflage.
one/joy_step_at_a_time
EB – well, maybe something you can cook would be a better idea.
mist/ dump paint instead of bug spray. and triggered sound alarms at the same time.
hens
speaking of Paint – how’s it gong with Mr. Studly that you met at the paint store Erin B?
ErinBrock
If I cooked up some crack…..and put bear traps out…..that might attract him One!
Rosa…..got the night vision goggles. Check!
ErinBrock
Mr. Studly is Mr. Dudly so far. Haven’t heard a peep.
Rosa
Speaking of Studly turned Dudly…
Do you guys remember the man I was posting about on here last summer?
I was trying to decide whether to send him a birthday present or not, because he lives in another part of the country.
I really wanted to send him a present, because he’s done some really nice things for me.
But, I decided against it at the last minute.
Something in my gut told me to just let it be.
I found out via the internet that he was arrested 8 months ago for a DWI……and this man is over 50 years old. Red Flag?
I have spoken to him on the phone a few times since his arrest and he has not mentioned it once.
He doesn’t know that I know.
And I have not let on to him that I know about his arrest.
He’s had plenty of opportunities to tell me, but he has chosen not to.
Maybe he’s embarrassed about it. But, I don’t like people who demand complete honesty and then withhold information from me. It feels like lying by omission or something.
When I met him, one of the first things he told me was what an “honorable” man he was.
Maybe I’m hyper-sensitive, but something like this brings back a lot of bad memories for me……things I don’t want to re-live.
So, I did not send him a birthday present this year, either.
And I don’t expect to be talking to him again.
The moral of this story is: TRUST YOUR GUT (even if you cannot put your finger on what it is that’s bothering you)…IT’S NEVER WRONG.
hens
Rosa I remember you telling us about him. Your gut was telling you something was not right. Just send me a birthday pressie instead, it’s coming up soon..!
ErinBrock
Yes Rosa….I remember the quandry AND I remember my response….NO, NO, NO, NO……
I guess….if we have to ask others…..this is a red flag also….
Yeah….anyone who has to ‘tell’ us he’s honest and honerable or faithful is a BULLSHITTER!
These are things you don’t have to tell someone…..you show them, you just ‘live’ it and it comes out on its’ own!
He sure showed you didn’t he!!!
What a loser!!!!
Glad your not in a quandry this year….
Great lesson……GUT baby….GUT!
purewaters3
DON’T drop the restraining order. He will just continue to use you and abuse you.
one/joy_step_at_a_time
such eloquence: ‘Yeah”.anyone who has to ’tell’ us he’s honest and honerable or faithful is a BULLSHITTER!’
my fave line the other dupe has for the ppath: ‘she’s a lying sack of shit.’