Editor’s note: The following was written by the Lovefraud reader “Rochelle.”
As part of the problem with my particular sociopath, the way they interpret behaviors is not like the rest of us. I have a list of examples:
What you do or say and what the sociopath hears
Expressing an opinion or feeling = ranting and anger issues.
Getting angry when he belittles and talks down to me = raging and anger issues.
Doing things for my husband and stepdaughter = I must have an ulterior motive.
Saying I like something in a shop window or magazine = me trying to manipulate him into buying me something.
Crying because I am hurting = drama queen.
Me asking him not to bring up a topic while out with friends = me being controlling.
Taking my husband to the hospital after he filed for divorce behind my back and then taking care of him afterward = me trying to get a better settlement out of him.
Changing my mind on something = hypocrisy.
His unfriending his sisters on Facebook = I can’t stand to hear that I am wrong and will give up my sisters to prove my point.
His being married 4 times = he made the wrong choices and did nothing wrong.
Having a female coworker as his best friend instead of his wife = this woman means more to me than you do.
Direct depositing my own money into my own account = stealing.
Going away for a family wedding and not staying at the hotel with the family because he SWORE I was there = paranoia. I was in another state the entire time.
Not doing things exactly the way he would = me being wrong.
Not liking being controlled by him his female coworker = me being wrong.
Me wanting sex once a week = me being a nymphomaniac.
Me buying a sandwich for lunch = me overspending.
Me loving my husband, washing his clothes, cleaning his house, cooking his meals, being supportive in all aspects of his life = I am beneath him and him not having the ability to show how appreciative he is.
dorothy2
LGO……Viagra to wank off……um…….that goes right in the WTF box.
Radar_On
Its not that hard to I understand now is it? Look at the facts of these matters, can greatly assist in diffusing our volitile emotions.
FACT: They are predators. We were the unsuspecting prey.
FACT: We had little, or no BOUNDRIES.
FACT: They will always be who they are, and we must remain diligent against all enemies of our souls.
FACT: Experience is a most wise teacher. If we do not heed, what wisdom we have gained, history will be repeated.
Question? Given the hard lessons learned, are these vile human beings worth any ladies out here wasting tears on? NO! Not at all…
dorothy2
Hi {{{RadarLove}}}
Something that has been helping me is repeating to myself that ” he is nobody”, ” he is nobody”. He is not the man I loved. Thes a trickster and a dirty, vile predator. A dishonorable man who will keep repeating the same patterns and behaviors till the day he dies. He will trick someone else, someone smarter, or dumber or more sick and asleep than I was. He is running out of time in his life and he creeps people out. He will die an old creepy man. What am I actually loosing? Nothing. He is nothing and nobody.
mich0101
Blue, I was just telling a friend the other day that I feel like I slept with Satan. I wish there was a way to get it out of my mind. Makes me sick to think about it.
Radar_On
Hi D2! Ohh how i wish i still had the internet so I can keep up on posting, fastet! Lol! But glad at least i have the phone! Yes, D2, they are vile vermin, that used us, fed off of us, sucking goodness out of us, brcause they are vile empty creatures! Period! My soon to be ex, used me to look legitimate in his family’s eyes, etc. Why? Because the same sh*t he did to me, he did to his ex. So he had to use marrying me, so everybody could see…..”see, im not so bad after all…”she” married me, didnt she??? Grrrrrrrrrr! PISA SH*T!
Tea Light
Mich, sorry to read that. Sounds like possible sign of PTSD, if you are experiencing distressing intrusive flashbacks? Stay safe x
mich0101
Oh I am tramatized by this. I regret meeting him more then anything in my whole life. I just want to forget it. I see the world entirely different now.
Tea Light
Mich, wanting to forget is something many of us will relate to, God knows I do, but repressing the trauma can create long term problems for us; better to reach out to a professional counselor who can guide you with compassion through the very difficult recovery process, please don’t suffer in sïlence and take care x
dorothy2
Mich…..I know where you are, it’s why Skylar calls it getting slimmed. It does not come off or out easily without lots of scrubbing, harsh soap and time. I think it’s that way so we don’t go back to sleep and forget the lesson.
{{Radar}} I think Spath was hoping to do the same with me. “Prove” to his ex wife and family that he was really ok. I screwed up that plan because I phoned his ex sister in law and had a talk with her. They had been up to visit and we had dinner with her and her husband who is
” friends” with Spath. You know……I just wasn’t feeling the love. Well I had an alcohol slip this fall and looked up their number and sure enough…her main words about him were ” trust your instincts”. Nough said. There was more, we were on the phone a while but sad to say, I don’t remember most of it.. Her words, and the way she said them are seared in my brain….” Trust your instincts”. He was/is pissed. FU-k him.
Spath: I would NEVER do that to you! = I have no earthly reason to call your family or friends or ex’ s because a. I trust you and have no reason to check up on you. B. I’m too much of a chicken sh-t to do it and they probably already know what a piece of sh-t I really am. C. I don’t really care anyhow because even if you were/are lying to me, as long as I can continue to get what I came for….who cares! D. I’m about ready to toss you aside anyhow because you just won’t stop insisting that I should treat you like an equal and it’s really ruining my buzz.
mich0101
Thanks Tea and D2, I am back in therapy. Went once a few weeks ago and still have a long way to go. For the first time in my life I am single and NOT LOOKING. It seems strange and I feel very lost ( and very slimmed). I keep picturing myself washing it off in the shower but it doesn’t come off that easily.