Editor’s note: The following was written by the Lovefraud reader “Rochelle.”
As part of the problem with my particular sociopath, the way they interpret behaviors is not like the rest of us. I have a list of examples:
What you do or say and what the sociopath hears
Expressing an opinion or feeling = ranting and anger issues.
Getting angry when he belittles and talks down to me = raging and anger issues.
Doing things for my husband and stepdaughter = I must have an ulterior motive.
Saying I like something in a shop window or magazine = me trying to manipulate him into buying me something.
Crying because I am hurting = drama queen.
Me asking him not to bring up a topic while out with friends = me being controlling.
Taking my husband to the hospital after he filed for divorce behind my back and then taking care of him afterward = me trying to get a better settlement out of him.
Changing my mind on something = hypocrisy.
His unfriending his sisters on Facebook = I can’t stand to hear that I am wrong and will give up my sisters to prove my point.
His being married 4 times = he made the wrong choices and did nothing wrong.
Having a female coworker as his best friend instead of his wife = this woman means more to me than you do.
Direct depositing my own money into my own account = stealing.
Going away for a family wedding and not staying at the hotel with the family because he SWORE I was there = paranoia. I was in another state the entire time.
Not doing things exactly the way he would = me being wrong.
Not liking being controlled by him his female coworker = me being wrong.
Me wanting sex once a week = me being a nymphomaniac.
Me buying a sandwich for lunch = me overspending.
Me loving my husband, washing his clothes, cleaning his house, cooking his meals, being supportive in all aspects of his life = I am beneath him and him not having the ability to show how appreciative he is.
Tea Light
No reason for you to say sorry dot2. The community here is diverse and informed and tolerant. That’s what matters to me.
Radar_On
Just got off the phone with an old friend from the church that the spath-hole and i met at. She said she heard that D. and i were getting divorced. I said ohhh really? I asked her, how so? She said she seen him there a few months ago and he told her. So im sure EVERYBODY in the church knows now. Just confirms he is most likely using the “church” for his smear campaign, and to make himself look like the “wounded” party! Ughhhh! Dirt-bag pisa sh*t!!!!!
blossom4th
Spath (turning to wall) “I’m depressed and I’m going back to sleep”= Woman you bore me and I wish you would hurry up and die so I can find a new victim!
Spath “Don’t go to sleep,I want to talk!” (4 am) = Hehe,lack of sleep will certainly shorten her life!
Spath “My skin is dry and I NEED CREAM RUBBED IN.”= You will die on your feet taking care of me!
dorothy2
Well, by sorry , don’t mean SORRY, 🙂
There needs to be another word that is just a little different than ” sorry “!
How are you doing TeaLight?? Thank you so much for your humor on this thread. It’s been so nice to laugh about this for a change and oddly enough, I learned quite a bit from all of the humorous posts! It helps me to see how obscured the Spath was. How rediculously broken his Spath brain and logic really is.
I remember this one time that he was going on and on in self defense over some issue we had on the table and I just sat andcwatched his brain working so hard to keep what he was saying straight……which of course it wasn’t straight, LOL. But I remember feeling really sad in that moment because he was trying so hard…..to convince him self that it made sense.
I could see him digging and digging himself deeper and deeper and then he finally just kind of gave up and sat there looking at the ground. I put my hand on his back and just gave him a warm smile and he started crying and we hugged. It’s a horrible memory for me because it makes me feel the love I had for him. 🙁 he seemed so, so, lost and defeated in that moment and almost aware that something about him just doesn’t add up.
Tears.
dorothy2
Blossom…..they are just so transparent NOW! It was the fog of war that they used as their cloaking devise. The gig is up now spathytard.
dorothy2
RadarLove,,,,,,how do you feel about attending another church?
blossom4th
Radar_on,
Spath is at a special Spring cleaning today of the building our congregation meets in.I KNOW HE WAS SO LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING ME,lol!I was too weak and tired to go….now I’m glad it worked out that way!
dorothy2
One thing that really helps me is that Spath and I don’t have any people in common. If I was still drinking, that would not be true. So, h can have the bar crowd and say whatever he wants to them. I run into them sometimes but not often. I ran into three or four of them right after we split and the ones I talked to think he’s weird anyhow.
dorothy2
I don’t know why I can’t edit my comments!! Grrrrr!
Obscure = absurd.
Radar_On
Ladies, to me tis is what compounds the hurt so much, is that we did meet in a church! If i was hanging out in a slimey bar, or something to that effect, ok…fine. I would take my lumps! But a church? Yeah, ive learned an extremely pricey lesson. I was gullible to think there were homest people in churches. But i cant lump everyone together with the spathole!
Dorothy, dont know if i will ever feel comfortable in a church again.
Talk about being cynical and jaded? Yeah.
Do i blame God for this? No. This taught me that EVIL walks amoung us, seeking whom it may DEVOUR.