Editor’s note: The following was written by the Lovefraud reader “Rochelle.”
As part of the problem with my particular sociopath, the way they interpret behaviors is not like the rest of us. I have a list of examples:
What you do or say and what the sociopath hears
Expressing an opinion or feeling = ranting and anger issues.
Getting angry when he belittles and talks down to me = raging and anger issues.
Doing things for my husband and stepdaughter = I must have an ulterior motive.
Saying I like something in a shop window or magazine = me trying to manipulate him into buying me something.
Crying because I am hurting = drama queen.
Me asking him not to bring up a topic while out with friends = me being controlling.
Taking my husband to the hospital after he filed for divorce behind my back and then taking care of him afterward = me trying to get a better settlement out of him.
Changing my mind on something = hypocrisy.
His unfriending his sisters on Facebook = I can’t stand to hear that I am wrong and will give up my sisters to prove my point.
His being married 4 times = he made the wrong choices and did nothing wrong.
Having a female coworker as his best friend instead of his wife = this woman means more to me than you do.
Direct depositing my own money into my own account = stealing.
Going away for a family wedding and not staying at the hotel with the family because he SWORE I was there = paranoia. I was in another state the entire time.
Not doing things exactly the way he would = me being wrong.
Not liking being controlled by him his female coworker = me being wrong.
Me wanting sex once a week = me being a nymphomaniac.
Me buying a sandwich for lunch = me overspending.
Me loving my husband, washing his clothes, cleaning his house, cooking his meals, being supportive in all aspects of his life = I am beneath him and him not having the ability to show how appreciative he is.
Tea Light
Hit that small white round spath kmillercats! Fire him into a little hole in the ground! x
blossom4th
I wouldn’t be able to throw eggs without remembering two of my brothers doing that yrs ago….and getting in trouble with the law because they were throwing the eggs at passing cars!One was wearing a BigFoot costume(it was Halloween).It was right at the time the movie came out about the legend.He could have been shot!The other (who had no police record)spent the night in jail because dad wouldn’t pick him up…figured he’d learn a lesson he’d never forget!
I like Truthy’s suggestion of crying in the shower,so the tears and snot wash right off!
Tea Light
Blossom, that’s like that story Alfred Hitchcock told about his childhood ; he did something, like stole some apples, and his father wrote a note and told him to take it to the police station. The note said ”Please bang my son up in the cell for a while to teach him a lesson” !!
blossom4th
Tea Light,
My dad was strict.He had to be,to keep nine children in order!There were 4 boys and 5 girls (I’m 3rd in line,and the oldest girl).My dad’s parents were English and German,and he was born during the Depression yrs,so that probably explains alot about his upbringing.
Tea Light
Blossom, did you ever meet your English and German grandparents?
blossom4th
Tea Light,
By the time I was born,my grandfather had already died.He was the German side.But my grandmother lived until Oct ’98.She’s the English side.Her maiden name was Lancaster.That’s why in a much earlier post,I made mention of my ancestors being imprisoned in the Tower of London and beheaded.I know you’ve heard of the War of Roses.
Tea Light
The war was between the houses of Lancaster and York! I forget which colour rose is Lancaster… white or red. The Tower is well worth a visit, you get to see the crown jewels, beefeaters, all that jazz! That’s some family tree blossomx
dorothy2
Blossom, have you ever read about German child rearing practices??
Actually, not just German. I can post a link but it is mind blowingly disgusting and disturbing.that is a warning. It’s pretty amazing.
Louise
Tea Light:
I saw the quotes now. Good stuff. I still haven’t listened to her audio I sent you, but plan on doing that this evening. I have so much reading to catch up on after getting back from vacation. All my newspapers and magazines.
I am glad we are on the same wavelength about your medication. I just hate to see you like a zombie! I understand that you cannot quit cold turkey; you have to taper. I hope you can do it soon. I am here with love to you. x
strongawoman
Tea, sorry to be a geek but bein from Yorkshire an all!! …..white rose of Yorkshire, red rose of Lancashire.
🙂