Editor’s note: The following was written by the Lovefraud reader “Rochelle.”
As part of the problem with my particular sociopath, the way they interpret behaviors is not like the rest of us. I have a list of examples:
What you do or say and what the sociopath hears
Expressing an opinion or feeling = ranting and anger issues.
Getting angry when he belittles and talks down to me = raging and anger issues.
Doing things for my husband and stepdaughter = I must have an ulterior motive.
Saying I like something in a shop window or magazine = me trying to manipulate him into buying me something.
Crying because I am hurting = drama queen.
Me asking him not to bring up a topic while out with friends = me being controlling.
Taking my husband to the hospital after he filed for divorce behind my back and then taking care of him afterward = me trying to get a better settlement out of him.
Changing my mind on something = hypocrisy.
His unfriending his sisters on Facebook = I can’t stand to hear that I am wrong and will give up my sisters to prove my point.
His being married 4 times = he made the wrong choices and did nothing wrong.
Having a female coworker as his best friend instead of his wife = this woman means more to me than you do.
Direct depositing my own money into my own account = stealing.
Going away for a family wedding and not staying at the hotel with the family because he SWORE I was there = paranoia. I was in another state the entire time.
Not doing things exactly the way he would = me being wrong.
Not liking being controlled by him his female coworker = me being wrong.
Me wanting sex once a week = me being a nymphomaniac.
Me buying a sandwich for lunch = me overspending.
Me loving my husband, washing his clothes, cleaning his house, cooking his meals, being supportive in all aspects of his life = I am beneath him and him not having the ability to show how appreciative he is.
Strongawoman! I’m blushing the colour of the lancashire one and handing you a digital yorkshire one lass —-@....... (v poor attempt at digital rose) x
Thanks Lou! I’m going to taper off over 4-6 weeks, enough is enough I want my brain back. x
Tea Light,
Glad to hear you’ll be tapering off the med.Anything that ‘turns your brain to mush’ is definitely no good!That’s why I decided to go off of a med I was taking for sleep and restless legs-Klonopin.I read that taking it longterm causes empty spaces to show up on brain scans…..LIKE I NEED THAT!
One year on anti deps too. Trying to wean myself off. Was lean and in such amazing condition when with the pond life creature. Have put on a stone 🙁 Also tonight discovered IT has introduced the new target/ game piece to the ‘beautiful children’ he only ever referred to them as such- despite almost permanent absence in their childhood and when he WAS there, his 2nd wife insisted on him attending anger management therapy. This news has set me back. I sent her his ‘c.v’ …but we didn’t want to know either, did we? Feel sick, sad, powerless, back in that dark vortex. we need spring in the north of Scotland :-/ xxx Night all
Tea Light:
Good luck on the tapering. I know you can do it. And even though being in a fog is not a good thing, in a way, maybe it has gotten you through the worst of the emotional turmoil. Love. x
Lou glad you’re there am about to post you x
Mo mac, aww love, the bbc weather showed minus 10 up in Scotland it’s not on for bloody Easter is it?! You’re trying to get off them too.. Let me know how you get on. I’m the opposite have NO appetite. I have to force myself. It took me an hour to boil an egg and make a bit of toast and eat it this morning. I buy myself my favs to try and work up some enthusiasm for food and sometimes when it’s actually in my mouth I’m like oh this is nice, but until that point I couldn’t care less. Plus am drinking way too much coffee to try and clear the brain fog 🙁 hang in there it’ll be a scottish spring soon
Blossom was it easy to wean off klonopin? Isn’t that an anti anxiety med, a sedative? Thanks so much for your support and sensitivity on the other thread I can’t go back into that discussion right now but thank you x
Tea light- I love your name. I was practically anorexic this time last year….tried to run my car off the road. One year on..counselling. getting there. Left my job of 17 years which made me profoundly unhappy…started my own business. all consuming. Fills the wreckage in my soul. …and is a great success so far.Hideous news like this plunges me back. The light healing on the deep wounds rips off. That poor, poor woman. Hang in there with the egg boiling! We are all on our own journeys. The meds helped me sleep and have an appetite. You will get there. irreparably changed..but surviving x I drank too much sauvignon blanc 🙂 !!
Does anyone out there know of an Andy Crawford? Pains me to say that name as I renamed it Crayfish. Am writing a book and v keen to gather all necessary info. ‘Big in oil’ self proclaimed. Works out of Aberdeen, Angola, Middle East. Spectacular track record of trashing lives. Anyone?
dear lovefraud readers and especiaaly to all the wonderful blessed gentle souls who are here because of their own personal experiences with sociopaths….i thank you from the bottom of my heart……………..without your wisdom,your experience,your tough love,your constant expressions of wisdom i would not be where i am today………i have found solace here for a long time……………i constantly read all the posts and soak in all the wisdom………i spent the whole day today reading all the comments to this article and couldnt stop till i reached the last one………………thank you so much to each and every one of you ….i have been in a very dark place for the past few years due to my own personal experience with someone who anialiated everything i ever believed in and it has been a long journey to fight back…………for the first time in almost 3 years i feel halfway normal……..its a painful journey but lovefraud has helped me so much……….and i wanted to say thank you to the fantastic women and men who post here………..with out you i wouldnt have known there were other people out there who had experienced the same things as me…….may god bless each and every one of you on your journey to recovery…………and especially i want to thank donna anderson who is a true inspiration…