Editor’s note: The following was written by the Lovefraud reader “Rochelle.”
As part of the problem with my particular sociopath, the way they interpret behaviors is not like the rest of us. I have a list of examples:
What you do or say and what the sociopath hears
Expressing an opinion or feeling = ranting and anger issues.
Getting angry when he belittles and talks down to me = raging and anger issues.
Doing things for my husband and stepdaughter = I must have an ulterior motive.
Saying I like something in a shop window or magazine = me trying to manipulate him into buying me something.
Crying because I am hurting = drama queen.
Me asking him not to bring up a topic while out with friends = me being controlling.
Taking my husband to the hospital after he filed for divorce behind my back and then taking care of him afterward = me trying to get a better settlement out of him.
Changing my mind on something = hypocrisy.
His unfriending his sisters on Facebook = I can’t stand to hear that I am wrong and will give up my sisters to prove my point.
His being married 4 times = he made the wrong choices and did nothing wrong.
Having a female coworker as his best friend instead of his wife = this woman means more to me than you do.
Direct depositing my own money into my own account = stealing.
Going away for a family wedding and not staying at the hotel with the family because he SWORE I was there = paranoia. I was in another state the entire time.
Not doing things exactly the way he would = me being wrong.
Not liking being controlled by him his female coworker = me being wrong.
Me wanting sex once a week = me being a nymphomaniac.
Me buying a sandwich for lunch = me overspending.
Me loving my husband, washing his clothes, cleaning his house, cooking his meals, being supportive in all aspects of his life = I am beneath him and him not having the ability to show how appreciative he is.
lifegoeson
I don’t know why you’re watching that crap on TV! = a) I can’t concentrate long enough to watch a whole film & b) It’s not porn!
lifegoeson
i’m sick of you always talking to your bleeping friends = Look at me! Why aren’t you entertaining me? It’s your fault I have to constantly watch porn on my computer!!!
blossom4th
Spath:”I’ve started saving money!” = “you figure out how to pay the bills on time.”
Spath:”Let’s just buy fish,beans and rice this month”= “I’m the one that’s eating,who cares what YOU want!”
Spath:”I’m growing my fingernails out so I can play the guitar”= “The better to scratch you with my dear!” (I’m thinking-EWWW,don’t touch me!!!)
Tea Light,
I just have to ask you this question;did he shave his legs first before donning his mommy’s robe?!!
Tea Light
Lol Abuser: “today darling I watched some pornography to stimulate myself as I was filled with desire for you and it was so frustrating you weren’t there. But I felt terrible my love, I felt it was an act of infidelity to you and I stopped” = I’m not actually separated, I have a sly wank when my wife’s at work on Saturday when I stick our 7 year old in front of a film and tell him I’m busying working in the bedroom
lifegoeson
Tea Light – Did the dead husband jump or was he pushed?
Tea Light
Haha blossom I can’t go where I’d like to with my reply to that! Let’s just say no let’s not *zips big mouth*
Tea Light
Lol he’s better off where he is , the abuser probably had an hand in his demise he was always ranting “he was a big man! Maman is very little! He tired her out!” err.. Doing what, you Oedipal freak?!
Tea Light
Urgh nails! I’m having a toenail flashback from the feet thread blossom do you remember someone’s spath had rubbed their feet on them to give them athlete’s foot?!
lifegoeson
Eugh!!! Nothing is sacred with these guys! Weirdos! Nutjiob always referred to me in the third party when we were in bed – I kept looking round in case there was someone else in the room! (which is what he wanted, but didn’t get) Lol!
Tea Light
As in… he refered to you as “she”??:-o