Editor’s note: The following was written by the Lovefraud reader “Rochelle.”
As part of the problem with my particular sociopath, the way they interpret behaviors is not like the rest of us. I have a list of examples:
What you do or say and what the sociopath hears
Expressing an opinion or feeling = ranting and anger issues.
Getting angry when he belittles and talks down to me = raging and anger issues.
Doing things for my husband and stepdaughter = I must have an ulterior motive.
Saying I like something in a shop window or magazine = me trying to manipulate him into buying me something.
Crying because I am hurting = drama queen.
Me asking him not to bring up a topic while out with friends = me being controlling.
Taking my husband to the hospital after he filed for divorce behind my back and then taking care of him afterward = me trying to get a better settlement out of him.
Changing my mind on something = hypocrisy.
His unfriending his sisters on Facebook = I can’t stand to hear that I am wrong and will give up my sisters to prove my point.
His being married 4 times = he made the wrong choices and did nothing wrong.
Having a female coworker as his best friend instead of his wife = this woman means more to me than you do.
Direct depositing my own money into my own account = stealing.
Going away for a family wedding and not staying at the hotel with the family because he SWORE I was there = paranoia. I was in another state the entire time.
Not doing things exactly the way he would = me being wrong.
Not liking being controlled by him his female coworker = me being wrong.
Me wanting sex once a week = me being a nymphomaniac.
Me buying a sandwich for lunch = me overspending.
Me loving my husband, washing his clothes, cleaning his house, cooking his meals, being supportive in all aspects of his life = I am beneath him and him not having the ability to show how appreciative he is.
Lol yes! You couldn’t make it up!
Whaat?! oh blimey
There’s so much more, but suffice to say I had red flags everywhere I looked and still didn’t get the h*ll out of there. It took me exactly a year from infestation to expulsion. A lot of heartache, the loss of my self esteem, peace of mind and my entire inheritance.
Oh and he had a very tiny penis hahaha! which was a big (or small, depending on how you look at it) disappointment!
What a nightmare.. thankfully other people here relate so you can always get some support and encouragement. Peace and love to you lifegoeson! x
Thank you Tea Light. I think Lovefraud may have saved my sanity. I was in a deep dark hole when I first discovered you guys but am slowly climbing my way out. It definitely gets better – being able to make jokes about it is progress, healthy and cathartic!
On that happy note I’m off to bed! NN x
Would that be the thread where you mentioned your loving spath scratching your backside with his toenails?!
http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2013/03/03/study-shows-how-experience-affects-genetics/#comments
Spath has figured out convenience of growing own “scissor hands and scissor toes”…..Reach & Scratch that Crack!
Find the penny!A great pointer(outta my face!) as for feet: scratching that itch-“oh do you itch dear,here let me help you!”,squashing the bugs that run into the corner(ewww!),spearing food that fell out of the plate(ewww!)
Well…..I just found my way back here and it was worth the trip. Honestly, someone needs to publish these posts for medicinal purposes, laughter as they say is the best medicine. Maybe Donna could create a “funny” Spath story’s link or page. America’s Funniest Spath quotes.
Great idea, Dorothy! Sometimes when the blues descend on us like fog, we could read the Spath Joke Book!
Lifegoeson, this site’s given me energy to get on with my life. Not that I lost “much” either. My ex had a huge belly, tiny d*ck, quite the opposite of what a girl would like to get in bed with!
He blamed me for having to cheat because he put on over a hundred pounds and I wasn’t eager to have sex with him. Uh, duh. He grew manboobs and flabby arms, along with Dickydoo disorder: His belly sticks out further than his dicky do!
Then he liked to whine (pity ploy) “Poor Simon just can’t do anything right, can he!” Nothing was ever his fault.
Rochelle, the first thing we all need to recognize and know in our heart of hearts is that with a sociopath….they are always sporting a big V for victim on their foreheads! They own nothing, they are leaches and poor victims….the only true victims are those of us who get caught in their web! Get out, stay away and thank God your survived! god Bless Beth v
So many ridiculous statements, all very funny….
My refusal to engage in 2 male sex= I have sexual hang-ups and I am judgemental!
His cheating on ex-wife during entire marriage=she had sexual hang-ups and was not available to him 24/7!
My need for sleep=I am too demanding!
My “calling him” on having lurid details of previous sexual experiences recounted to me, in public, during dinner…loudly!!= my telling him what to do!
When entertaining his freinds/family, any request to purchase side dishes instead of just a pile of meat=I am overspending, no one needs a side dish, appetizers or dessert! Just booze and meat.
Towards end of relationshit, my refusal to live with him part time and sis part time, b/c I lost my car and could no longer cart myself back and forth to my kids and work and him= I am being unreasonable for refusing to live like a traveling free ho!
LOL and lots of tears….for being such a ninny that I let a man run me into ground, rip my heart apart.
The other woman, he was “doing” all year, while I lived with him, loved him, cooked for him, rubbed his feet!!!!, did his laundry….once dropped him off after spending a weekend together. Ofcourse he told me he was with male freinds…he was angry at me for not being available to pick him up at the gas station he had her deposit him at, so I would not see that he was with her!!!! The nerve!!!
Back to angryville today…..yesterday, boo-hooville! As someone above said. “thank God we got out!”
Blue