Editor’s note: Lovefraud honors all religious and spiritual beliefs. However, we’ve heard of many sociopaths who twist the teachings of the Bible in order to keep victims from escaping exploitation.
A reader sent the following letter in order to encourage those who are in this situation—knowing they are being abused, but being told that Scripture says they should put up with it. The reader has no affiliation with the organizations posting the material; she just thought the links were helpful.
For those individuals who are of the Christian faith (and / or of any faith) and who have, also unfortunately found themselves ”¨exposed to either sociopaths / the supporters-of-sociopaths ”¨(within their very own family or spiritual setting or, as is very ”¨often the case, both) the following links may be of some ”¨help in discovering and receiving Biblical “support” in ”¨being able to acknowledge the God-given FACT that ”¨”tolerating a sociopath’s abuse” is very simply ”¦
1) NOT part of a Christians’ “bearing one’s cross”;
2) NOT something that a Christian MUST simply ”¨”just forgive and forget” in order to have God ”¨also “forgive and forget” their own wrongs;
3) NOT merely a part of a Christians’ spiritual ”¨OBLIGATION to “turn their other cheek” (70 x 7)
4) NOT a part of “loving or ‘blessing’ one’s enemies”;
5) NOT something that in anyway “glorifies” or “honors” God, ”¨nor is it in anyway a type of “obedience” to the commandments ”¨left by God to all of mankind, nor does it follow along the ”¨lines of the “will” that God has planned for one’s life.
God has a GOOD will and plan for everyone’s life and God both can and will help people to escape, overcome, heal and even, somehow, also ”¨be able to learn from the abusive experiences that you have survived.
GOD HAS THE POWER AND THE WILL to, somehow or another, use ”¨these past experiences to “transform” a person (despite all the abuse) ”¨into becoming the very best person that they can become (to themselves”¨ and to others) and can actually somehow miraculously also use these ”¨experiences to work out all together for the GOOD within their own ”¨life (Romans 8:28; Jeremiah29:11; 3 John 1:2) and in the lives of others.
Should I offer forgiveness without repentance?
Should forgiveness be unconditional?
No forgiveness for the unrepentant
Selective Amnesia: “I have no idea what I did wrong!”
Forgiveness—does it matter if the abuser is a born-again Christian?
Rosa:
I LOVED the link to ‘I WILL SURVIVE” you posted to Thornbud yesterday.
I remember dancing around the living room…..twirling actually……after I could walk……..belting out that song!!!
Thanks for that link……
It was/is empowering!!!
🙂
I love that song, too. 🙂
By the way, that was me on the roller skates… 🙂 🙂
Oh, yes…..ofcourse…..I never doubted it!
Knew it right off the bat when I saw the whirl…..
🙂
I hope Thornbud listened to it…..sometimes that is all it takes to get us through a minute…..
I hope she’s okay today…..I wish she’d check in!!!!
I hope everything is OK, as well.
The comments that were posted last night were very unsettling.
Thanks Rosa, I just got off amazon and ordered a bunch of books off there for 1 cent + $3.99 shipping —usually great bargains. Sometimes though a book is very popular and out of print and they jack the price up. I should have searched other places too. Thanks for the link I will check there.
I am a BOOK-A-HOLIC and there is even a book store by that name on Amazon, Usually the prices there are great. The internet has really made the price of used books come down. I used to shop the half price and used book stores all the time when my husband was alive but you had to prowl through the stacks and shelves and had trouble finding what you wanted, but with the internet it has made them become much more FINDABLE and avialble and thus, the price comes down as well as the avilability goes up.
With the price of NEW books going up up UP and even a new paper back can run $8 and as much as I read it can get costly. I buy boxes of books at the auctions and trade books with friends as well to keep myself supplied with my “addiction” habit supply. LOL I do reread some books too, and try to keep down the NUMBER of books I have to the ones I would want to re-read or reference. I also am a “book marker” on anything except some “cheap novel” (my hubby used to call them “chewing gum for the eyes”) I read with a yellow high lighter in my hand.
Biographies, history, science, medicine, politics, social, aviation, natural science, geology, herbs etc. not much I don’t find interesting.
I agree about ThornBud’s post last night…she must have been in a great deal of pain to reach out with that ominous cryptic message. I hope that she did not try to hurt herself, but unfortunately, there isn’t any way we can reach her except the way we did.
I know that some people on here have had personal experience with someone close committing suicide and it could be a painful trigger for them. My experience with suicidal people is only with a former foster child I had, and he called everyone close to say “goodbye,” but didn’t mention or “hint” at what he intended to do, then he just “did it.”
My son D has had several former kids from his Bpoy Scout Camp that have committed suicide, and I know that Henry’s sister did, Wits’ Ex-H and I am sure others here have had the same horrible experience to have someone close harm themselves.
As the say it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and one that hurts those close to them. I’m not sure why people reach out with cryptic or veiled “cries for help” like that. I wish I did know. I guess bottom line is that I know if she really wants our help she will not hurt herself and will come back here. I’m sorry she was in pain last night and felt a need or desire to say something so cryptic, but I hope she will come back, or call 911 or get some Real world help. My prayers for her.
Rosa, thanks for the link at B&N, I got the book for $8.32+ $4 shipping, so was a GREAT DEAL over the AMAZON price! I can’t understand why there would be such a HUGE DIFFERENCE in the prices for the same book at the two different places. I guess I just got used to the good deals I saw at Amazon on used books and didn’t even think of comparison shopping. Now I have spent about $100 on books from Amazon AND B&N LOL but that’s okay, I’ve been a “good girl” financially this month so I guess it is OK for me to buy a few books! IT IS OKAY TO SPEND MONEY ON ME AND NOT FEEL GUILTY! LOL
OxDrover:
I am so glad you are getting the book.
Personally, I could not put this book down.
There is SO MUCH great information in this book…you’ll see.
I look forward to hearing your opinion of it.
Dear Rosa,
I read the quote you put in your post, and I thought “that sounds JUST LIKE MY EGG DONOR” and I read it to my son D and asked him who it sounded like and he said “the egg donor” and( sigh) you know maybe I still need continual VALIDATION that what I believe is right, I’m not sure what it is that made it RESONATE so much within me, but it DID.
It validated me and maybe that is what I have to have or need or something, to VALIDATE what I know intellectually is TRUE.
I also ordered a couple of books that I am going to send to my parole attorney, that I have already read. I am always buying books for others too! LOL
Thanks, I will be anxious til it gets here and I can read it!
Oxy – When you think of the number of disordered people who are in/ have been in your family and multiply them by the number of (and formative) years, it makes sense that you would need years of validation to get the lies of their nature to ‘stick’ at the deepest levels of your spirit, and the truth of yours to broker no challenge.