Editor’s note: Lovefraud honors all religious and spiritual beliefs. However, we’ve heard of many sociopaths who twist the teachings of the Bible in order to keep victims from escaping exploitation.
A reader sent the following letter in order to encourage those who are in this situation—knowing they are being abused, but being told that Scripture says they should put up with it. The reader has no affiliation with the organizations posting the material; she just thought the links were helpful.
For those individuals who are of the Christian faith (and / or of any faith) and who have, also unfortunately found themselves ”¨exposed to either sociopaths / the supporters-of-sociopaths ”¨(within their very own family or spiritual setting or, as is very ”¨often the case, both) the following links may be of some ”¨help in discovering and receiving Biblical “support” in ”¨being able to acknowledge the God-given FACT that ”¨”tolerating a sociopath’s abuse” is very simply ”¦
1) NOT part of a Christians’ “bearing one’s cross”;
2) NOT something that a Christian MUST simply ”¨”just forgive and forget” in order to have God ”¨also “forgive and forget” their own wrongs;
3) NOT merely a part of a Christians’ spiritual ”¨OBLIGATION to “turn their other cheek” (70 x 7)
4) NOT a part of “loving or ‘blessing’ one’s enemies”;
5) NOT something that in anyway “glorifies” or “honors” God, ”¨nor is it in anyway a type of “obedience” to the commandments ”¨left by God to all of mankind, nor does it follow along the ”¨lines of the “will” that God has planned for one’s life.
God has a GOOD will and plan for everyone’s life and God both can and will help people to escape, overcome, heal and even, somehow, also ”¨be able to learn from the abusive experiences that you have survived.
GOD HAS THE POWER AND THE WILL to, somehow or another, use ”¨these past experiences to “transform” a person (despite all the abuse) ”¨into becoming the very best person that they can become (to themselves”¨ and to others) and can actually somehow miraculously also use these ”¨experiences to work out all together for the GOOD within their own ”¨life (Romans 8:28; Jeremiah29:11; 3 John 1:2) and in the lives of others.
Should I offer forgiveness without repentance?
Should forgiveness be unconditional?
No forgiveness for the unrepentant
Selective Amnesia: “I have no idea what I did wrong!”
Forgiveness—does it matter if the abuser is a born-again Christian?
Silvermoon,
you have the uncanny ability to put my feelings into words…just reading your posts gives me strength and hope and a beginning to finding peace…thank you again. I am enjoying the walk too:)
.
This is my take on the subject..
Everything on earth is positive and negative…down to the electrons and protons.
You can’t have light without dark.
You can’t have up without down.
You can’t have good without EVIL.
I used to think that everyone was GOOD. Somewhere deep down, we are all good.
I used to think the Bible was a myth…about Satan.
Well, now I TOTALLY believe there is EVIL in the world. If there wasn’t …we would have WORLDPEACE!!!
So, I now teach my children that EVERYONE out there is GUILTY until proven innocent. NEVER trust anyone that you don’t know WELL…..
Thats the new me.
So, remember ….the closer you are to GOd…The better you are….the HARDER the devil tries to get you.
I KNOW there is Evil because I NEVER once in my life thought of suicide…only when I was younger…to get back at my parents…
Now,…with three beautiful girls..I didn’t want to live!!!
The devil wants you to destroy yourself and lose your FAITH and belief in GOD..
PLEASE DON”t LOSE FAITH!!!!
WIthout GOd…you are nothing.
Just when I think LF is the best it can be…it outdoes itself! It is with great thankfulness that I look upon this post! I so hoped, one day, that I would see something like this blogged here, and now it has happened! How GREAT is our God!! And thank you, Donna!
My faith in God saw me thru all this. No matter how hard my P tried to destroy me, he could never totally do it. God protected and finally delivered me by providing a way of escape! To God be the glory!!
flowerpower, your posts are excellent, full of truth and wisdom!
bluejay: Please don’t forget who is running this world here..Satan is. God OVERRULES! There is evil and it prowls for those it can devour.
[ It is my belief P/S are given to evil.] God protects His own, but there is suffering and don’t buy into the fluff that if we are God’s children we will not suffer. In fact, scripture makes it plain we will suffer. It costs something to belong to God! We are in a WAR here, evil against good. Satan against God. When we become saved we are in the army now, Christian army. We are fighting! He promises if we are faithful He will give us rewards along with eternal life. He also promises to never leave nor forsake us. It’s been my experience God walks us THRU the fire not around it, for around it, we would not learn/trust or be FORCED to rely totally on Him. It’s just human nature[since the fall], and He must work with us the way we are. When Satan begins to get my focus on what I went thru or DON”T have, I get in God’s Word and remind myself of all the things I do have and how blessed I am in many, many ways. One day, God will allow Satan to come full force, for if He did not let Satan go all the way, Satan could say, “I could have won, if you had given me full rein.” God will allow Satan to have the full length of his rope/power and then God will put down all evil/Satan. “And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful. And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely. He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son.” Revelation 21:2-7.
Flower- I love what you said in your beautiful, truthful post to Marcia. I admire yours,Silver, to be happy, sorry if leaving others out-all you guys for sharing your spirit and beliefs out here. Oxy is another who I always count on to share a spiritual, Godly truth whenever she gets the opportunity- I love that!! I love to read your interesting comments so much!
Marcia, Bluejay- I understand where you are at, and possibly how you feel. It is a lonely place, but healing and restoration is there for you.
I “almost” was at the point of giving up on all of my beliefs, as my overwhelming disappointment engulfed me.
That small will that I had at the time to live, be whole, and seek to understand kept me going-BUT my flesh was kickin and screamin, making it difficult to believe God or his relevance in my life. I did pray for Him to help my unbelief.
Deep down, I began to know, thru the convictions in my heart, that God was the ONLY one who truly loved me whether I wanted to believe it or not Whether I understood it, liked it, or felt like it was fair or not. I told God I was angry, didnt think I would trust Him again. My arrogance, by His grace was tolerated until He could re build me, and my “pot of clay” began to be molded. But First that “pot” had to go thru some really UGLY remodeling. Alot of my”confident fool” mentality- thinking I could do this without God had to be cut away and replaced with a new game plan. Many times, just reading the bible would humble me, and give me such peace, I couldnt argue with that. I learned that I had to daily submerge myself with the good things of God-(encouragement, christian mentors,positive “real” people like Joyce Meyers who listening to her program taught me so much) to replace what the world constantly tries to take out of you. As Joyce put it- I may not be where I should be, But Thank God I am not where I used to be! Keep moving toward God-draw near to Him, and He will draw near to you.
Twice,Oh wow! What a POWERFUL post that is!!!! I will copy it and keep it on my bathroom mirror for encouragement and as a reminder of what we are here to do.Thank you. You are gifted, and I am grateful that you didnt sugar coat the truth. Too many times we numb down Jesus commandments and the bible for the sake of offending someone. It is our duty for the sake of others souls to tell the truth clearly. Our first conviction should be to use the bible as the final authority. All of our answers are here, and in using that as our unequivocable truth, our actions should follow it.
sabrina, I am humbled by your kind words. To God be the Glory!
Your post is excellent, correct, and strongly worded. Thank you!
Thank you all for your posts, comments, every one of them being helpful. Being reminded about the reality of our situation on earth is beneficial. I was living my life, doing okay. Stuff started happening that unhinged me (brought on by my husband), being clueless that anyone would want to act in ways he behaved. It hit too close to home, slowly waking up to a reality that was jarring. Reading (in an earlier post) about Jesus being betrayed by his disciple (and friend) Judas reminded me that He does understand, He can totally relate to what all of us are going through or have gone through. I related to what Jesus might have experienced (emotionally) upon learning that it was someone close to Him that turned Him over to the authorities. He definitely didn’t deserve all that happened to Him, but He allowed God’s will to be done, knowing internally that His Father was ultimately in control know matter what he endured. Thank you for the posts, helping me cope, learning from others, putting myself in their shoes, realizing that it’s time to stop feeling sorry for myself and move on (in a positive direction). I have grit, not wanting evil to win. So many of you are such good writers, expressing your thoughts so well – exreemly helpful. I don’t think I have that gift.
Bluejay- I see you as a tremendous asset here! We all have to be here for each other to encourage and remind each other of the truth. If one person falls, another is here to pick them up- WE ALL need to be LIFTED up from time to time.
You pointed out something that got me to thinking deeper as well about Jesus knowing what it is like to be betrayed. Not only that but rejected, and unjustly punished by death in the cruelest of ways with his beloved mother looking on. All of it just to pay for OUR sins. Through Jesus sacrafice for all humankind, we are given power thru him, HE says …by his stripes you ARE healed. -Not gonna be, hope to be.. we are.
I know the world just does a number on us to make us believe differently.Our God is not bankrupt, in a financial crisis, national deficit, or any of those human conditions, He owns the cattle on a thousand hills. All He asks us to do is to take up the cross and follow him. He says He will supply all of our NEEDS.
Twice pointed out tho, Jesus DID say we would be persecuted for his namesake.It is a fight of good and evil. Jesus will take that “grit” that is in you Blue, and show you that mountain can be moved! xoxo
Bluejay, I think you express yourself quite well, and as Sabrina said above, you have a lot to offer. I hope we’ll continue to hear from you.