Editor’s note: Lovefraud honors all religious and spiritual beliefs. However, we’ve heard of many sociopaths who twist the teachings of the Bible in order to keep victims from escaping exploitation.
A reader sent the following letter in order to encourage those who are in this situation—knowing they are being abused, but being told that Scripture says they should put up with it. The reader has no affiliation with the organizations posting the material; she just thought the links were helpful.
For those individuals who are of the Christian faith (and / or of any faith) and who have, also unfortunately found themselves ”¨exposed to either sociopaths / the supporters-of-sociopaths ”¨(within their very own family or spiritual setting or, as is very ”¨often the case, both) the following links may be of some ”¨help in discovering and receiving Biblical “support” in ”¨being able to acknowledge the God-given FACT that ”¨”tolerating a sociopath’s abuse” is very simply ”¦
1) NOT part of a Christians’ “bearing one’s cross”;
2) NOT something that a Christian MUST simply ”¨”just forgive and forget” in order to have God ”¨also “forgive and forget” their own wrongs;
3) NOT merely a part of a Christians’ spiritual ”¨OBLIGATION to “turn their other cheek” (70 x 7)
4) NOT a part of “loving or ‘blessing’ one’s enemies”;
5) NOT something that in anyway “glorifies” or “honors” God, ”¨nor is it in anyway a type of “obedience” to the commandments ”¨left by God to all of mankind, nor does it follow along the ”¨lines of the “will” that God has planned for one’s life.
God has a GOOD will and plan for everyone’s life and God both can and will help people to escape, overcome, heal and even, somehow, also ”¨be able to learn from the abusive experiences that you have survived.
GOD HAS THE POWER AND THE WILL to, somehow or another, use ”¨these past experiences to “transform” a person (despite all the abuse) ”¨into becoming the very best person that they can become (to themselves”¨ and to others) and can actually somehow miraculously also use these ”¨experiences to work out all together for the GOOD within their own ”¨life (Romans 8:28; Jeremiah29:11; 3 John 1:2) and in the lives of others.
Should I offer forgiveness without repentance?
Should forgiveness be unconditional?
No forgiveness for the unrepentant
Selective Amnesia: “I have no idea what I did wrong!”
Forgiveness—does it matter if the abuser is a born-again Christian?
nic:
BTW — the fact that he hasn’t inquired about your child since November doesn’t surprise us. Remember way back when you started that we told you that he would ultimately lose interest in your child and go away? You wanted it then. We told you it would happen with time. Well, darlin’ that time has come. Enjoy it. You earned it.
Darn it Matt,
Would YOU STOOP to say “I told you so!”? LOL of course you would and I am soooo glad that our predictions came true!
Nic, I predict (rubbing crystal ball here) that eventually you can “buy” your freedom from him as far as any parental rights by giving up child support. And, truthfully, that means for FREE because every dollar you get out of him will cause you to sweat a pint of blood and sweat and tears!
He will never willingly pay, he will quit work first. BUT eventually you can say to him, “Look if you will relinquish ALL RIGHTS to our baby, I’ll give you a pass on CS” and actually, that should give you some peace knowing that in the event something happens to you, that he will never get his nasty mits on the child.
Matt is right too, you have to fight this UNemotionally and I know for a FACT that is very difficult and I don’t always accomplish that goal myself. Even Matt has failed at that from time to time, so I am sure he will agree with me on how difficult it is, but since you have a child, you cannot afford a slip up. ((((hugs))) and TOWANDA!!!
Facts, not emtions.
The truth will out.
Your son is lucky to have a courageous advocate for a mom.
Go forward and conquer!~
Jennie514-
I read your post this morning. You are one smart cookie, having no contact with your ex-boyfriend. I am sorry for your past experiences, but you will go on, making smart choices for both you and your son. You sound like you’ve already made some wise decisions – your son is in good hands.
Banana- Im rushing out to get to work today, but wanted you to know that I am lifting you up in prayer. Strength, clarity and peace to you.
And for Gods sake -that the JUDGE will SEE the freakin truth!! No s-path FOG – prayin for a clear, sunny, day with excellent visability! best to you..
Banana:
Okay girl….gather up that mojo….remember your body language, STAY STRONG, nothing personal, keep your head straight and AIM FOR THE TARGET!!!!
FACTS ONLY DARLEN!!!!!
Keep the rif raf out of it!
You’ll do well……
Any father who doesn’t support their child during the process is NOT going to fare well in the end….
Who cares WHAT the new attorney says about an ‘agreement’….if he gave a rodents butt about his kid….he’d be sending money! PERIOD!
And WHY prey tell is the gf attending these hearings??? This is NONE of her business…..AND won’t look good to a judge….
Even if she says she cares for child when child is with father….Okay….so do all the grandparents and child care providers show up to a divorce case to?????
THIS is weird……
But….still…..DON”T TAKE IT PERSONALL….he will shoot his own foot!!!! (and she’ll be helping!)
GO GETEM GIRL!!!!!!
MOJO TO BANANA!!!!!!
Matt: I love this…..I don’t care if he is on life support in ER while they are performing brain surgery you make sure he has his sorry ass in court no matter what.
He sure did not bring in one piece of paper. I had everything!!
Yes, you guys were all right about him losing interest but I didn’t really want to believe it.
Ox: You are right. I could definitely “buy” him out and he would take it with the quickness.
Erin: I am definitely feeling empowered.
Banana: I may have missed it but if you have a support order through the courts you can add in child care. I had to do that. My ex-h was paying late or taking weeks so I told the judge and it was added with the direct payments I receive through the state. Good luck.
And BTW…nowadays they use a ‘gamma’ knife for brain surgery….No blood or guts….so GET YOUR ARS TO COURT HOMEY!
This article is so true! My father claims he’s a devout Christian yet does everything the complete opposite. He likes to point out scripture and twist it. Many times he claims that God miraclously did things for him when clearly he did it for himself. Its nice to get things straight across when it comes to scripture. I have done a lot of praying and God is making me patient during this tough time. But in the end it will all work out for the better. Its also good when somebody points to a scripture to read before the text and after to see what is REALLY being said.
hurtnomore010 – ‘Many times he claims that God miraclously did things for him when clearly he did it for himself.’
this made me laugh – you obviously have your heard screwed on straight. 🙂
how did you find out about lovefraud?