How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Editor’s note: Lovefraud honors all religious and spiritual beliefs. However, we’ve heard of many sociopaths who twist the teachings of the Bible in order to keep victims from escaping exploitation.

A reader sent the following letter in order to encourage those who are in this situation—knowing they are being abused, but being told that Scripture says they should put up with it. The reader has no affiliation with the organizations posting the material; she just thought the links were helpful.

For those individuals who are of the Christian faith (and / or of any faith) and who have, also unfortunately found themselves ”¨exposed to either sociopaths / the supporters-of-sociopaths ”¨(within their very own family or spiritual setting or, as is very ”¨often the case, both) the following links may be of some ”¨help in discovering and receiving Biblical “support” in ”¨being able to acknowledge the God-given FACT that ”¨”tolerating a sociopath’s abuse” is very simply ”¦

1) NOT part of a Christians’ “bearing one’s cross”;

2) NOT something that a Christian MUST simply ”¨”just forgive and forget” in order to have God ”¨also “forgive and forget” their own wrongs;

3) NOT merely a part of a Christians’ spiritual ”¨OBLIGATION to “turn their other cheek” (70 x 7)

4) NOT a part of “loving or ‘blessing’ one’s enemies”;

5) NOT something that in anyway “glorifies” or “honors” God, ”¨nor is it in anyway a type of “obedience” to the commandments ”¨left by God to all of mankind, nor does it follow along the ”¨lines of the “will” that God has planned for one’s life.

God has a GOOD will and plan for everyone’s life and God both can and will help people to escape, overcome, heal and even, somehow, also ”¨be able to learn from the abusive experiences that you have survived.

GOD HAS THE POWER AND THE WILL to, somehow or another, use ”¨these past experiences to “transform” a person (despite all the abuse) ”¨into becoming the very best person that they can become (to themselves”¨ and to others) and can actually somehow miraculously also use these ”¨experiences to work out all together for the GOOD within their own ”¨life (Romans 8:28; Jeremiah29:11; 3 John 1:2) and in the lives of others.

Should I offer forgiveness without repentance?

Should forgiveness be unconditional?

No forgiveness for the unrepentant

Selective Amnesia: “I have no idea what I did wrong!”

Forgiveness—does it matter if the abuser is a born-again Christian?

The Christian abuser—twisting God’s word to justify abuse

How can I forgive?

What about “Love your enemies?”

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. witsend

    Star,
    I would suppose that it might be easier to not have a life ruined by money, if you remember what it was like not having it!
    But the “true” stories of lottery winners always come to mind…And many were not good outcomes.

    There was a true story once on Oprah years ago of a man who was homeless and it was “staged” for him to find I believe it was a hundred thousand dollars in a dumpster. He blew it all and was homeless again in no time. Was a really sad story actually. I never forgot it.

  8. Stargazer

    Agreed, wit. Every time I have my goals be about “getting rich”, my schemes always fail. I think my goals need to be more from the heart and I will have a better chance at succeeding. Money in and of itself is just an object really. It doesn’t bring any joy on its own. I also recall some of the of the happiest times in my life where I was flat broke.

    I had the choice of going to some financial workshop the other night just so a friend and I could get a $50 dinner gift cert. I passed it up to go to a pet loss support group, which really helped my heart (I lost my Siamese a few months ago). I was glad I made that decision. I’ve been poor for so long that I’ve developed a “poverty” mentality, where I think I need to always be on the lookout for opportunities to make money–more work, free stuff, etc. Today, I spent money. I got myself a long massage. It was great! I’m starting to change my thinking that if I follow my heart, the money will follow. It seems to be working.

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