Editor’s note: Lovefraud honors all religious and spiritual beliefs. However, we’ve heard of many sociopaths who twist the teachings of the Bible in order to keep victims from escaping exploitation.
A reader sent the following letter in order to encourage those who are in this situation—knowing they are being abused, but being told that Scripture says they should put up with it. The reader has no affiliation with the organizations posting the material; she just thought the links were helpful.
For those individuals who are of the Christian faith (and / or of any faith) and who have, also unfortunately found themselves ”¨exposed to either sociopaths / the supporters-of-sociopaths ”¨(within their very own family or spiritual setting or, as is very ”¨often the case, both) the following links may be of some ”¨help in discovering and receiving Biblical “support” in ”¨being able to acknowledge the God-given FACT that ”¨”tolerating a sociopath’s abuse” is very simply ”¦
1) NOT part of a Christians’ “bearing one’s cross”;
2) NOT something that a Christian MUST simply ”¨”just forgive and forget” in order to have God ”¨also “forgive and forget” their own wrongs;
3) NOT merely a part of a Christians’ spiritual ”¨OBLIGATION to “turn their other cheek” (70 x 7)
4) NOT a part of “loving or ‘blessing’ one’s enemies”;
5) NOT something that in anyway “glorifies” or “honors” God, ”¨nor is it in anyway a type of “obedience” to the commandments ”¨left by God to all of mankind, nor does it follow along the ”¨lines of the “will” that God has planned for one’s life.
God has a GOOD will and plan for everyone’s life and God both can and will help people to escape, overcome, heal and even, somehow, also ”¨be able to learn from the abusive experiences that you have survived.
GOD HAS THE POWER AND THE WILL to, somehow or another, use ”¨these past experiences to “transform” a person (despite all the abuse) ”¨into becoming the very best person that they can become (to themselves”¨ and to others) and can actually somehow miraculously also use these ”¨experiences to work out all together for the GOOD within their own ”¨life (Romans 8:28; Jeremiah29:11; 3 John 1:2) and in the lives of others.
Should I offer forgiveness without repentance?
Should forgiveness be unconditional?
No forgiveness for the unrepentant
Selective Amnesia: “I have no idea what I did wrong!”
Forgiveness—does it matter if the abuser is a born-again Christian?
The Christian abuser—twisting God’s word to justify abuse
What about “Love your enemies?”
one/joy_step_at_a_time
witty, i have to say again – awesome.
i know it was a trial. and heavy. and enormously draining.
but you KNEW what he was trying and even though he got your energy, he didn’t get your mind. you, are a rock star.
it’s good that you will be away for a couple of days.
do you have someone who can stay at the house or watch it?
perhaps you could tell the police that you have concerns as there has been activity around there?? something?
ErinBrock
Wits:
I beleive time apart offers clarity……maybe not for him….but surely for you….
Its like when your house catches fire….you panic, think were is the animals, what do I take with me….evacuate mode….and you can’t remember where you last saw the cats….
You get outside, stand away and look at your burning house…..and suddenly you can remember….the cat was on your bed!
You gotta get out of the forest to see the trees.
A view from afar….
Not the every moment stress……and chaos….
Get some sleep and try to remove yourself from your ‘today’.
XXOO
EB
witsend
One Step,
My older son will come and let the dogs out after work and spend a little time with the dogs Sat during the day. But he lives far enough away that he will be in and out.
My youngest now knows that I will be gone and I might give the police a heads up.
I can’t think about all this to much because it will take up alot of space in my head…..And I need the money so I need to do the show.
I called my older son and told him under no uncertain terms that his brother was to be able to stay in this house when he left after taking care of the dogs. (if the younger sees his car he might casually “stop by”)
My oldest is still under the younger brothers spell. He doesn’t get it. My older son has been out of the house for a few years, and hasn’t witnessed much “yet”.
hens
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ONESTEP
ErinBrock
That urgency/emergency thing takes some practice…..we all go into panic mode when we here the word FIRE!
And we automatically want to help…..
GOOD FOR YOU for remaining in control of your thoughts and thinking about bullshit!!!!
Whatever it takes……to not react to someone elses ‘proclaimed’ emergency…..
conomo
Hey EB I am at a loss for words … I just got kicked out by slow dial up even on short threads… it happens….so I may have lost some in context….I have no ill feelings with you girl either!! And I truly hope you can stay connected with your son in a honest/up front/loving way…with healthy boundaries ! I’m thinking I will tell you about my oldest girl…but I’m gonna cry If I do…good kids have focusing problems…I know…my gal was a horse rider…will try to post a pic…
ErinBrock
GREAT….let him live with BRO then….
ha**Cough* Cough**oh no….he’s not so bad….*COUGH*Cough****
ErinBrock
Conomo:
Wait until you need a good cry then write about your eldest…..
Kill two birds with one stone and make it work for you!
🙂
conomo
Good @#$ advice … shoot the energy in the right direction
witsend
Erin Brock,
Bro is recently married and living in a one room apartment.
He might love his lil bro but he aint about to take him on!
I used to feel really bad that my older son couldn’t fully support me in all of this because he doesn’t “get it”.
But recently I am begining to see it differently. I am HAPPY that he still loves his little brother and that he doesn’t have to face this reality yet.
If and when he gets it, maybe I will be stronger by that time and be able to support him through it all.
It think its going to be hard for him to deal with it.