LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Vigorous campaign to portray me as angry and hostile

Editor’s note: On April 15, 2009, we posted “Bob’s” story—Leaning on his family while battling his wife. Well, the battle continues. Bob is asking the Lovefraud community for suggestions.

I recently received the email below from my P ex-wife and wanted to share it with your readers. I would like someone to analyze this to get some insight and commentary on this situation. It is so reminiscent of what I have read on and in books and comes really without surprise; it just surprises me of the lengths she will go to try to falsely trash me in an effort to obtain custody of our kids. The allegations are either fabricated or extremely exaggerated. She has a knack for manipulating people to write letters for her and support her. She has no fear of me and really no fear that I will endanger our kids; she knows I would never hurt them. This is all blowing smoke, but there is motive.

A quick background: Post-divorce with joint custody, she moved out of state to be with her lover and took me to court to move the kids with her. Her motion was denied and the kids still live with me in my state during the school year, but she moved regardless. Her child support to me was tripled by the court order, and that has angered her. She lies to my kids about the circumstances of her move and casts blame at me for us being so far apart geographically.

During the custodial evaluation, up to the hearing and after the order was handed down she has been on a vigorous campaign to portray me as angry and hostile towards her. Apparently this is the only way she could convince the courts to give her custody. She stopped paying me for children’s expenses after the court order was received, attempting to elicit angry emails from me. That was over a year ago and this continues to this day, even after I took her to court this year to force payment of children’s expenses. After that court order, she still refuses to pay me what is legitimately owed. She is very angry and vindictive, but she conceals it from others very well.

Note, I have been to her home on only three occasions to drop off or pick up my kids and she lives over 1,000 miles from me. She travels to my state with regularity to pick up and drop off the kids at my home without any fear of me. The characterizations of me”—hostile, angry, vindictive, inconsistent, unbalanced, unstable, threatening, harassing, bi-polar—”are a common theme in her emails.


I have just returned from a meeting with local law enforcement. I met with them because I fear for my safety and the safety of our children. Your actions, writings and overall demeanor are unstable, inconsistent, vindictive, and threatening.

During this discussion, I shared the following:

1) Our guidance from the Court.

2) years of correspondence between Bob and me, highlighting particularly the exchanges that were most hostile, threatening and vindictive.

3) A tape of Bob’s wire tapping of my phone while I lived in (city removed).

4) Several documents that prove Bob’s attempts to hack into my bank accounts, my AT&T account, my email account and one credit card account.

5) Data I have collected through Bob’s emails of him stalking me, including one today where he has details of my flight information that I did not provide to him. There are several other emails that confirm this pattern of behavior.

6) A written statement from the Summer Camp employee that he interrogated in August, complete with her statement that he appeared unstable and made her uncomfortable. She also confirms that he explicitly told her that he had sole custody of the children and that I was not allowed to make the decision I had made when enrolling him in his summer activities.

7) Evidence suggesting Bob’s taping of the children’s and my conversations.

I agreed that I would follow up this information with an opinion from my therapist, since she has been privy to the daily deluge of drama and interactions and has formed some opinions, based upon what she has read.

The officer confirms that there are red flags in this situation that do not need to be ignored. His suggestion is that I state first my concerns in writing directly to you. I am once again asking you to stop this harassment and contemptible behavior immediately. If you continue, I will have no choice but to proceed with the process of highlighting these situations and writings to the proper authorities and to seek protection for myself and our children.

This is not a threat and these are not games. Your anger, vindictiveness, and nonacceptance of the rules we were given have resulted in harassing and predatory behaviors which are at a minimum, disturbing and at the extreme, dangerous.

Our community saw a triple murder within the last two months at the hand of their father, a white-collar banking manager. The background and circumstances of this heinous crime were eerily similar to our past two years. I will no longer take the chances of what your volatility, instability or hostility might lead to.


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103 Comments on "LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Vigorous campaign to portray me as angry and hostile"

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OMG!! Such a tangled web!! I just found out (from my brother’s online snooping) that “Landscaper” is planning on moving to my ex’s town, across country. Appears he will be leaving his children with his ex. My ex, her boyfriend of four years, and her ex-boyfriend all living as one happy family? This is just sick. This man clearly has hostility towards me, almost an obsession. Maybe moving to be closer to my children to piss me off? As much as I read about the S’s, I don’t get how they can influence people to do what they do!!

Dear BOB,

Welcome to reality Bob! We can’t figure out HOW or even really WHY, but they are SO GOOD at what they do because even if they fail, they do not stop trying or see failure as a lesson to stop that kind of behavior.

WHY would an addict/alcoholic drink/drug if they knew that if they got caught they would lose their home, job, family, and go to jail? And that theyy would be TESTED randomly so getting caught was a pretty good chance? BECAUSE some how they DELUDE themselves that they can cheat and get alway with it.

Obviously “landscaper” is getting something out of all this,k and it may be that he has been chunked out by his wife and told to hit the trail and he has no other couches left to surf but your X’s—and, my guess is he is ALSO a Psychopath and they DO TEAM UP to focus on an attack on someone they both hate (for whatever reason). My P-son and his “friend” a Psychopathic ex cell mate TEAMED up to pull off a plan to kill me and P-son would of course SHARE the revenue from his inheritence with his buddy—yea, I believe that! NOT! But the promise was there so having no friends or support, the Trojan Horse ex con was willing to team up with my P-son, though when I managed to find and FLEE so he could not kill me, he dumped my P-son’s plan and made one of his own with my son C’s P-wife to steal a smaller amount of cash and take off after killing my son C….of course that plan also went south so the P-wife and the Trojan HOrse P both ended up in jail/prison, leaving myy P-son’s only option to be convincing my enabling egg donor to support him financially and then trying to find another “hit man” to go after me, but without the resources he had in place with this last plan.

My only “ace in the hole” is that I will do my best to see that P-son “enjoys” any money he gets while he is in PRISON so will fight his parole tooth and nail for the rest of his life, and I no longer live in terror, but only a reasonable caution.

Your X wife has one HOLD on you and that is your love for your children, your concern for your children and she will use that as much as she can to hurt YOU and if it hurts the kids, that’s just too bad. Landscaper for what ever reason hates you as well, so in their world

“the enemy of my enemy is my friend.”

Since, however, there is no honor among them even in a mutual scam, eventually they will “explode” among themselves.

Hang in there Bob, and just do the best you can and BE CAUTIOUS, but don’t live in terror. God bless.

That’s so sad when the sociopath has one hold on the parent who is actually healthy for the child. And uses the children like weapon of mass destruction. It makes me sad to see how sociopaths alienate everyone to the point. No one wants to deal with her which includes the children. I know people who go out of their way to avoiding dealing with our sociopath.

It is a fact that the sociopath hates her ex more than she loves her children. It’s so unfortunate for the kids. They don’t know what to believe. I have seen the toll the sociopath has on the kids. My child from a previous marriage was being targeted as well we me. She was in the same school as the sociopaths kids. She was spreading lies about me. It really affected me because I never knew that people (sociopaths) just make up a disgusting lie for no reason other than to attempt to destroy someone because they are jealous.

Once I moved my daughter out if that school. Ever thing has improved. We no long attend the same camps, doctor, dentist or anything the sociopath may be involved with. Because it is a spectacle. When we are suppose to be their for kids the sociopath wants all the attention on her. And makes every thing them.

The sociopath takes credit for everyone else’s hard work. Having children with a sociopath is a nightmare
My husband loves his children but he said if he had to do it all over again. He would not. They had to do all this IVF and it was cause she insisted on kids. Had to have kids. My husband hates the stress we deal with. But he is still a good dad. Even tho the sociopath will tell anyone what a dead beat dad he is and just horrible things. It’s a horrible situation for me, my husband, my husbands children and my child. Who knew one person could make do much harm to so many people . He said they he has aged 20+ years dealing with the crazy ex. She has tried to ruin my husbands good name and mine. She has verbally attacked my young daughter. She is a monster

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