According to new research, people who score highly on the Narcissistic Personality Inventory questionnaire had more friends on Facebook, tagged themselves more often and updated their newsfeeds more regularly.
Read Facebook’s ‘dark side’: study finds link to socially aggressive narcissism, on Guardian.co.uk.
Link sent by a Lovefraud reader.
Interesting. My experience is that FB makes their deceptive behavior more difficult for them to carry out because they’re stupid enough to “friend” all the different people they’re conning and having sex with.
Here I was thousands of miles away, and FB gave me the ability to figure out exactly who it was that he was carrying on with locally where before I would have just known it to be true and not have been able to prove it. I had been able to use MySpace in the past to learn that he was still communicating with an ex-girlfriend that he claimed he had nothing to do with anymore. For years I had been listening to him tell me our problems were my fault because I couldn’t forgive him for something he’d done years before with an ex-girlfriend.
FB is the very tool that gave me the ability to communicate with someone NEW in his life that thought he was the greatest thing that had ever happened to her. I was able to forward her emails through FB messaging that were shocking to her given that she was being told he was in love with her.
Meanwhile, he’s calling and texting me from work, sneaking out of the home they’re sharing together to call and text me, sending me flowers, telling me he was moving back here to be with me, and going home for lunch to Skype with me on HER computer almost daily. He had told me the computer was his roommate’s, a guy that he was living with, when he had actually duped her into moving in with him. When I found this all out, his explanation was it was strictly for financial reasons, he didn’t love her, she was an alcoholic, and he couldn’t even stand to kiss her.
It took her a while after reading these deplorable things he’d said about her, but she finally came around, moved out, and thanked me for the information I had provided to her. As far as I know, she has nothing to do with him anymore. It’s a small town that they live in, and I can only hope that she informed a number of his “friends” as to exactly what kind of a pig he is.
I told him that technology was never going to be his friend. It is with cell phones and Myspace and FB and sites like Lovefraud that enable victims to find out the truth that they refuse to tell. Use technology to your advantage when dealing with the morally insane. Their arrogance and entitlement complex precludes them from being able to be discreet.
It’s actually pretty funny how obvious and stupid he is. FB was instrumental for me in finally being able to walk away and never look back. I finally had the proof that I needed because they’re so masterful at convincing us that we’re the crazy ones. No longer was he able to tell me I was being paranoid and suspicious. There he was letting the whole world know through a social media network that he’s an incurable textbook psychopath.
Since this study was done with very few participants and has not been replicated, the scientific value is of questionable value, however…that said…I think COMMON SENSE would let us see that our media, social and otherwise, is breeding a generation of people who put emphasis on the shallow relationships rather than the deeper ones.
This author that is writing about the study however, mentions that SELF ESTEEM is what others think about us, but they got that BACKWARDS.
Watch any “gossip” show for 5 minutes and you can see the shallowness of what they are talking about. They give so much attention to people like Paris Hilton who has never done anything in her life but be rich, shallow and put her sex tape on the internet…yet she gets all this attention like she is someone who is “important” in the world….Which I believe she is not. Yet so many of our young want to emulate her and get attention. FB is only another way to collect shallow “friendships.”
Hi Survivor3 ~
You almost wonder if social media sites like FB and myspace won’t lead to the downfall of psychopaths. (wishful thinking I know)
But you are right, like the article mentions – Grandiose Exhibitionism and Entitlement/Exploitativeness –
Psychopaths MUST be the center of attention and CANNOT stand to be ignored or WASTE a chance of self-promotion – so these sites are something they just can’t resist. And they are STUPID about them, which makes them OUR friend. We can use them to track, who needs a private investigator anymore.
Have you ever noticed how they even have “designer” usernames, and they tend to use the same name on all sites. So simple to track on google.
Keep up the good work all you social sites.
MiLo,
Maybe not their downfall in general, but definitely his final downfall in my life and hopefully in his new victim’s life. It is mind-boggling how they set themselves up, but it always perplexed me how it always seemed as though he wanted to get caught. One of the last things he said to me was, “I lied again. Surprise, surprise.” He accepts what he is. But as he gets older and loses his “game,” others will be much more loathe to accept him into their lives. He will end up just like his mom, who suffers from the same disease; alone and miserable with absolutely nothing to show for her life.
And how hysterical is it that he advertises on his FB where he currently works when he owes tens of thousands of dollars in back child support? Not to mention he has a felony criminal record that the company he works for isn’t aware of. Why does he do that? Because listing where he works and this silly title that he feels he has there makes him look like a big-shot. The tradeoff of projecting this false image of himself is more important to him than his freedom inevitably. It’s just a matter of time before the authorities catch up with him, and he’s doing it to himself. But truth be told, he’s happier incarcerated. Free room and board and three squares a day.
Oh FB!
What a wonderful tool……if you don’t use it as they had planned.
It is funny how people will spill everything to make impressions on others, mirror others and project onto others.
I find it a fascinating study.
In the past month…..here is what i’ve seen with the spath.
He sunk his hooks into a gal who has a good job, is cute, has a nice car and home and has 2 daughters. Perfect dupe.
She’s recently divorced and her FB page ‘reads’ low self esteem and the need for a man.
She has posted all about each relationship she’s been in…..each one being ‘THE ONE’.
Now she’s got the spath…..as “THE ONE’ I’ve found my soulmate.
He traveled across country to ‘visit’ her…….he’s never left.
This woman has allowed him to stay in her home from the first meeting, along with her two daughters.
He feeds off her, she posts magnificant stuff about him……he posts magnificant stuff about himself.
I think someone told her to ‘chill out’…..so she only posts pics of him in his underwear cooking breakfast or lunch etc….
(red flag alert!) Underwear????serving your teenage d breakfast. Hmmmmmm. Posting on FB? Hmmmmmm.
He posts everything…….in the beginning of their ‘fondness’…..he mirrored her……posting incessant inspirational quotes. Gee, what a great guy.
Now it’s back to him.
I’ve got a beautiful hot GF……
Yesterday……the Engagement announcement showed up.
Yes folks…..just over one month and they are so in bliss, they are ENGAGED!
I see his avenue. He’s posting that he wants to move to the coast…..she lives in the desert…..He will marry her, get her to sell her home, buy one in the high dollar area……and if it doesn’t work out…..he’s got NOTHING in the game. He’ll take her home as community property.
He’s got no car, just got a ‘weak’ job, and has worked hard at making friends with her kids. 1 month, he’s accomplished that thus far, he’s also friends with her d’s and their friends on fb.
He’s boofed the girls up on FB………at this point they must love this cool new dude of moms.
Moms in bliss…..and it’s all confirmed on FB.
What a great awesome wonderful guy she’s found!
She’s a great study about avoiding the red flags.
The spath talks about sex on fb. Money, jobs, houses, his travel, his gf’s wishes and even goes as far to express his feelings about the president needing to be hung in a tree like old times using the ‘n’ word. (sorry if that is offensive to anyone, not my intent!)
Yep…..the narcissism rings through loud.
Heres the funny part…….people are so drawn into him.
Most of the posters on his page are women…..they all love the ‘love story’ and have all become ‘cheerleaders’ of what he’s doing.
Not one person has posted…….WHAT….WHY SO SOON!?!?
It’s all cozy, lovey…..I’m so happy for you stuff.
Why do we buy into it?
It’s all about WHATEVER we want to project.
I could start a fb page and draw in many……with i’m a princess and rich with fake beautiful pics……and i’d have people gloating all over me.
What does that do?
I think it’s because we still look for the fairy tale……the glam life, a life other than what we all live. It’s the old thinking that the skinny, beautiful and popular cheerleader in HS had a perfect life. She intimidated us, she had all the cute boys, she had tons of friends etc…..BUT later, we found out that she was bulimic and her stepfather raped her throughout hs.
We all want to ‘trade’ places with anothers projected perfect life…….
(Careful what you wish for!)
If life was so perfect…..you wouldn’t be on FB announcing it!
We want to believe…..and who are we to squash someones fairy tale.
When things go south……these same people will come out with their opinions of…..you moved too fast….you shouldn’t have XX or XX. Blah, blah…..but in the meantime, nobody will speak up……
Nobody will speak up because they don’t want to be in the minority, they will be attacked as the buzz kill person. Don’t rain on their parade……..
Speaking up is a thankless job……and few are willing these days.
FB is a great tool to gain information. If you can weed out the bullshit…..and look at what someone is really saying.
Employers use it rather than background checks……you can see needy, illegal, narcissism, lifestyle, habits all rolled into one.The person who is being watched can’t deny it…..because it’s what THEY themselves are putting out there.
Can a credit report give you that!?!?
Don’t get drawn into the social media craze…….you don’t want that much info out there.
Our friend Matt once said…..there are only 2 times you want to be in the newspaper…….when you are born……and when you die!
FB is like being on the evening news all day everyday. It’s more than 15 minutes of fame……if you play it right, you can sustain your fame as long as you can keep others interested…..for a spath, that could be an eternity……because there is always someone wishing they had YOUR LIFE!
FB helps me figure out if someone is an N. If I have an inkling that someone may be an N & then see they have 500 FB friends, that pretty much confirms to me that, yes, they’re probably an N. I also don’t understand why people want to self disclose so much personal info to the world.
ErinBrock,
You have described exactly what I dislike about FB: way too much information. But also agree it’s a wonderful way to spot the Ns & Sps. I think may use FB to create their own personal soap operas in which they are the star.
This is why I don’t let people I don’t know well on my fb
One woman I work with was angry cause I would not accept her friend request Turns out she is not that friendly lol
Survivor ~ YES, YES, they do want to get caught – it wouldn’t be as much fun doing the things they do if no one knew. Bragging rights and that is what they can do on FB etc.
Erin ~ Great tool – absolutely, when you already know the score. It is like reading their diary, without the guilt.
Slime bag engaged – hmmmm Underware cooking yuuuuk