Locking up bad fathers is good for kids

A new study by Economist David Neumark at the University of California – Irvine found that married, two-person households are not always best for children. The study found that the increased incarceration of minority men contributed to fewer minority high school dropouts.

Read Kids are all right with just mom, on the University of California – Irvine website.

Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.

Posted in: Scientific research

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31 Comments on "Locking up bad fathers is good for kids"

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The fact that we only speak of “locking up bad fathers” is disturbing. What about bad mothers? Are we that biased? Are we all men haters on here? Do we not recognize the fact that abusive mothers exist? I continue to be astonished at the stereotype that prevails in this blog and in society at large. Believe it or not, there are just as many abusive mothers as fathers. The difference is that abusive mothers are mostly passive aggressive, psychological, emotional, verbal abusers. This is because they don’t very often have the opportunity to be physically dominant. I have met more fathers and their children who are victims of Sociopathic, Narcissistic, angry, hateful, mothers. These women have a disordered/dysfunctional personality that allows them to create their own reality. They believe they are more significant, they are entitled, they are more important and relevant, and they lie inveterately, if not pathologically, to destroy the credibility of the father, and “win” control of their children. This “win” has the prize of financial gain and the right to continue to denigrate the children’s father with the blessing of the court. This is the single greatest civil rights issue of our time. I get a sick feeling when I realize there are many mothers on this blog that scare me with their disdain and dehumanizing fathers as a group. I believe many of you are victims of Sociopathic men, but I also believe some of you are playing the Sociopaths favorite game, which is to point the finger at Dad, and lie till you die about your own accountability in destroying him. Everyone needs to be careful about denigrating fathers as a whole. It is one of the primary frivers of false accusations of domestic violence, and the growth of the industries that directly benefit from destroying fathers. The Lawyers (Judges are all Lawyers), the Social Workers (70-80% female), Psychologists, and Guardian Ad Litems (70-80% female) are all provided virtual immunity from prosecution. Mother’s are as well. It is common practice for all of these so-called professionals to create their own truth, Lie under oath, and destroy the father because it benefits their business to do so. Men and Fathers have been abused, raped, and falsely accused, demeaned, disparaged, and falsely implicated by simple little white lies…….”I am afraid of him” is all it takes to win custody in most counties, and the dysfunctional, angry, abusive mothers have dominated in family courts for 30 years because they play the game of the “femme Fatale” and the courts enable and support it, because in most cases, it is a financial win for all involved, except the dad who gets incarcerated for the duration of his children’s childhood, into a role of indentured servitude, without any significant role in their lives. There are millions of fathers whose lives have been destroyed. IT is so sad, and it will be interesting to watch as more mothers are preyed upon by sociopathic fathers, or just plain passive aggressive, dysfunctional, disordered fathers who will take advantage of this opportunity, as women continue to be more significant wage earners. The courts enable and support the most proficient liars who are able to put on a calm public face. The disordered men are catching on to the “loophole” and perhaps once enough of them begin to win in court, we will actually see some pushback from the extreme feminists who have helped to create the destruction of fathers. Mark my words, this is starting to happen now. What we are failing to do is demand truth, actual evidence, and reality to prevail in family court. The failure is driven by the greed of the Attorneys (Judges). There are SIMPLE fixes, but the Trial Lawyers fight all efforts at reform. One simple mandate in any custody battle would solve most of the problems. A second effort by truly objective, well meaning advocates, who claim to protect abused women from abusive men would ferret out most of the pretenders, and bring true justice into the family courts.
FIRST: Every interaction between children and ANY court appointed/designated/employee MUST be RECORDED! Simple, low cost, verifiable evidence that will reduce the destructive force of these people who are responsible for more child and father abuse, by a long shot, than any other demographic. Holding them accountable will change the court dramatically and reduce the corruption and abuse by the hundreds of thousands every year in this country. Remember when the police had no camera’s in their cars? Or interrogations were never recorded? How many victims claimed police brutality? It is simple, and it would save more lives every year, from the destructive agenda of the courts than all the casualties we have had in every single war this country has fought in the last 50 years!
SECOND: The Domestic abuse shelters and advocates should, as the first method of support, if a so-called abused women claims physical abuse, but there is no visible, or verifiable evidence, and they are wanting to make their case (and they do not feel their life is in danger), be provided with a simple hidden camera or two. If you truly have an abusive spouse, it would be easy to show it on film, and have hard evidence to implicate the abuser. Currently, the constitutional rights, and the legal rights of falsely accused fathers are ignored. Orders for protection are issued and they require no evidence, the father has no right of appeal, and the Judges love to sign them because it starts the money making machine for their peers. The lawyers are getting rich off the pain and misery of fathers (now sometimes mothers), by the lies and dysfunctional personalities that are the greatest endangerment to our children, and our society, and the “family”. IT is absurd that we have not done what needs to be done to properly stop the madness. It is simple, inexpensive and it should be mandated across the country. GALs, Lawyers, Judges, and Social Workers are the biggest abusers of children and fathers, and they are getting away with by the hundreds of thousands every year. It is the “Silent” Plague that history will prove, never should have been allowed to happen, and it isthe single most destructive “fraud” this country has ever allowed to prevail, since slavery, and the racism and homophobia of the more recent past. IT is time to stop implying that fathers are lesser human beings than mothers. The prejudice and bias in this will go down in history as one the worst abuses of modern civilization. There are MILLIONS of children who have been scarred and damaged for life by abusive mothers, and the loss of a fabulous father who was FRAMED by the mother and the court. This must stop. NOW. and I don’t mean the National Organization for Women. They are responsible for driving this bias and abuse, and the Lawyers love it because it is making them rich! Wake up. For all the healthy mothers out there who fully support, encourage, and truly believe that Dad is equal in importance to mom in the lives of the children, THANK You! To those who continue to falsely believe they are better and more important than Dad, you are an abuser. Equal rights goes both ways. IT is time Dads actually were provided with what the law states, EQUAL RIGHTS! The Judges IGNORE the Law. They are some of the worst abusers and enablers of abusive mothers. Judicial reform needs to happen as well. Judges are people, not Gods. We need to hold them responsible and accountable and liable for abuse. Lawyers need to be regulated independently and judges ALL need to be elected. They must also be prosecuted for breaking the law. Those who lie in court under oath must be prosecuted for Perjury, and those who make false accusations must be prosecuted as well. As long as we allow the current corrupt system to avoid the truth, child and father abuse will remain the most destructive element in our society. WAKE UP AMERICA! Those of us who are healthy, and good parents need to stand up. The courts have been able to keep the abused fathers quiet for so long because we are financially raped, emotionally abused, and psychologically labeled as angry. OF course we are angry. That shows we are healthy. Call it what it is properly, “Righteous Indignation”. When the “Liar’s Court” is given the power to take our children away from us based on stories told by a selfish, controlling, abusive spouse or partner, we should be angry. But then they rape us financially, tear our souls from our chest, and figuratively beat us till we have no strength or energy left, and we are left with an empty heart, wondering what we ever did to now have children who are strangers to us now. IT is insane, and there is plenty of blame to go around. The primary drivers of this are the Lawyers (Judges) who are getting rich off the destruction of fathers and childrens. Shame on us all for allowing this to continue in epidemic numbers. Where is the Media coverage and efforts to expose it? The Judges and Lawyers and all the supporting pawns have twisted their integrity and sold the public on keeping the custody battles quiet and secret, “to protect the children”. There is no bigger lie in this country, no greater cause of more ruined, damaged, and scarred lives and relationships, than the FAMILY COURT SYSTEM, and all its affiliated industries. Many people involved in the supporting roles are criminals, and we are letting them get away with murder every day. IT is disgusting.

We are the society of second, third, and many chances, and it hurts our children. My ex psycho currently has supervised visitation with my son. He is in the process of divorcing his 4th wife, who went from foe to friend after he showed her just how “wonderful” he is.

She has shared with me that though she told the counselors, court appointed guardian ad litem and mediators about her concerns for her own young son given psycho’s track record with mine, she was all but ignored. In fact, one individual said “wow, that’s sad that he has supervised visitation with his other child.” (Sounds strikingly similar to Not-to-Late’s experience.) I see nothing sad about it. What would be truly sad is if he were allowed to destroy my son had the court not stepped in to protect him. She is now living in hell. And though she did everything in her power to destroy me in concert with the psycho while they were dating (and he was married to me), my heart still goes out to her, and mostly for her innocent child.

I think parental rights need to take a backseat to children’s rights, and until we become a society who places the needs and protection of children above all else, our children will pay the price and all in the name of having two parents in their lives.

Dear perniciousfamilycdourts,

BloggerT, one of the guy bloggers here has a site about female sexual predators (there is a link on the LF blog rolls) and you are right, there are just as many sexual female predators out there as male ones, so NO this site is not just anti-male, it is just that we (most of the bloggers here) are speaking from our own perspectives and most of us are women. That is why I encourage you to blog here because we DO like to have a diverse population on this blog and Donna encourages that as well.

I also agree that the lawyers/judges/family courts are anything except fair to children. I’m very against “parental rights” and FOR children’s rights, but unfortunately too many times the rights of the children to have a healthy parent are thwarted by the “system.”

I agree with the general perspective you posted about. When someone goes to court, justice should be served, not bias. From what I read here, the socipath tends to win most of the time, regardless of whether they are male or female. The problem is that your average person doesn’t know anything about sociopaths. They assume that both sides are trying to be reasonable. The sociopaths are sooooo unreasonable that no one would ever imagine their motive: Malice.

Perhaps there are equal number of sociopaths of both sexes. You can take any person’s personality and measure three parts: Empathy, Intelligence and Aggression. More people with an XY chromosome are going to have more aggression due to natural testosterone.. If you are a spath with low empathy, and you have more aggression you are more likely to show it. If you add low intelligence, you end up behind bars.
XX chromosomes have less aggression, so even if they have low intelligence, they are better trained at being manipulitive since being aggressive is not going to work. They are going to be dangerous in a covert way.
I know you already know this, but you do have to keep it in mind when you are discussing WHY there is a bias in the courts. It’s because with the exception of the low intelligence, sociopath males, the sociopath will always win.

And don’t forget to add the fact that most people in positions of authority are sociopaths. They love to see drama and to control others, that’s why they took that position in the first place.

My point is that the odds are stacked against us and toward the spaths, whether we are male or female and the reason is because not enough NORMAL people know how to recognize a sociopath. THAT NEEDS TO BE OUR GOAL.

Anger toward one another here on LF, is counterproductive toward that goal and EXACTLY what the spaths are counting on. They have seeded all the racism and misogyny with this intent. So on that note, I agree with you that too often we women here on LF spout off on men in general. I try to be cognizant and not do that, I hope that I haven’t.

Spaths understand that divide and conquer strategy. Let’s not make it easy on them.


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