A new study by Economist David Neumark at the University of California – Irvine found that married, two-person households are not always best for children. The study found that the increased incarceration of minority men contributed to fewer minority high school dropouts.
Read Kids are all right with just mom, on the University of California – Irvine website.
Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.
I think they should not just study minority men, but incarcerated individuals in general.
The study makes sense to me though, if it takes these people out of the gene pool at least for a while and takes them out of the Relationship pool for the duration of their incarceration as well. We do know from studies that 25% of the incarcerated individuals at any one time are PSYCHOPATHIC, and we also know that the AVERAGE SCORE of all incarcerated individuals is 22 (30 is what it takes to be a “certified psychopath”, but 22 is a highly UNDESIRABLE PERSON) so with the highest rate per capita of incarcerated individuals in history or of any other country, the US has more of its psychopaths penned up than any other country. There are about 2 million individuals who are incarcerated, which means that about 25% would be 500,000 psychopaths behind bars THIS MINUTE. There are also another approximately 5 million on PAROLE at this minute, so almost a million psychopaths are on parole and the other 1.5 million in prison average a score of 22, and the other 4 million on parole average 22 PCL-R score, so I think it behooves us all to STAY away from anyone with a criminal record, no matter how they claim to be “reformed” the ODDS are definitely against it as their scores are way too high.
The number of children being born to unmarried mothers is and has been rising for a number of years (and of course we know that unmarried mothers are not all “alone” as far as relationships, committed or otherwise, are concerned) but it does also show that more and more parents (of both sexes) are “single” parents, raising the child(ren) by themselves many times without any assistance from the other DNA donor, and the number of grandparents who are raising their grandkids either officially or unofficially is sky rocketing, which makes me think that NEITHER parent is fit to raise the children, and they are being raised in the same environment that their parents (who are unfit parents) were raised in, and have a double whammy of bad genes from both sides, so I would estimate that those children are at HIGH risk for problems from the prospects of both environment AND genetics…
However, “statistics” are not always indicative of the CAUSE of things, “STATISTICALLY, a man with one foot on a red hot stove and the other one on an ice cube is COMFORTABLE.” LOL
It does make sense to me though, that if the severely dysfunctional are taken out of the lives of their women and children that they would be better off. The problem is I think that there is a while “industry” out there telling women that they should “be supportive” of their inmate and take the arsehole back into their homes when they are released—not because this is to the benefit of the women, but because it is a benefit to the state by having someone else assume responsibility for these inmates upon release rather than the state having to do so.
Only 40% of the inmates released on parole do NOT violate their parole by committing another crime that they are caught and convicted of (that’s about the only way you can get busted for parole violation—JUST breaking the “rules” won’t get you busted back to prison.) The parole officials know this and the convicts know this.
Back when I drove 400 miles to visit my P-son in prison, I saw hundreds of other families visiting their inmates, bringing children. There seemed to be many more Hispanic families visiting than either white or black families, but this was in Texas so there was a higher proportion of Hispanic inmates in the prison as well. However, studies I have read show that Hispanic families tend to be more supportive of their family members, regardless of what crimes they have committed. Black and white families are somewhat less supportive of members of their families who have committed repeat or very violent crimes.
My “friends” who knew about my son and his crime advised me that “he’s your son, you can’t give up on him.” Which was of course as we know now, the WORST possible advice a parent of a psychopath could have.
Personally, I am for the “three strikes” laws, and wish the states who had them would enforce them much more rigorously. I think it would take many psychopaths out of the general population of free people, cut down on the number of children they produced and the women (men) they victimized.
What a GREAT article!
I could go for hours on this one. Ox, your perspective is particularly interesting and I relate to it. Where I live, and have for many years, while married to P, he was HALF hispanic, BUT the MAJORITY of those incarcerated with him (when he was in and out of jail) WERE WHITE!! I got the opportunity to speak with a lot of the women who brought their children with them for visits, as I did early on in the marriage. ALL were WHITE……..including myself and ALL were going to take their men back when they got out, INCLUDING ME! During that time and even when exP was in treatment for drugs/alcohol (several times), there was MARITAL COUNSELING that encouraged women to stay with these men, having been incarcerated or not, which leads me to the atrocities that I think bedevil many women and society as a whole in that the institution ITSELF of marriage, somehow “heals” or “cures” everything. That a child CANNOT grow up in a healthy environment unless it’s a two parent household. BULLSHIT!!! As I saw with my exP AND with exPOS, the children did FAR WORSE with that parent in the household rather than NOT. FAR WORSE. Admittedly, I was in my relationshit with exPOS AFTER their father left and while it had a great impact upon my children (I had my head too far up exPOS’s ass), he never LIVED with us and his dealings with my children were VERY brief, however, when exP beat my eldest son up for the first time, it was the LAST time. That ended the marriage. While my relationshit with exPOS was wrong, I can tell you, looking back now, that I’m GRATEFUL my children did not ultimately end up living with him too. Had he gotten a divorce before I figured out what he was, and he had wanted to marry me or live with me, I WOULD HAVE DONE IT.
I think it’s so obvious that kids fair better without a sociopathic parent, incarcerated or not, black/white/purple, the effects are ALWAYS devastating when having to live with one. They mindscrew the children as well as their mother. I WISH there was more education with regards to personality disordered people and how they impact the lives of children. Educating MORE women about the impact of living with a sociopath and learning how to get out. I bet there are thousands and thousands of women out there who live with one and like many of us before, don’t know what they’re dealing with while they and their children suffer in silence. UGH! That’s so hard to think about.
Thanks for the article. Very interesting stuff.
LL
LL….
OMG. I totally agree. One GOOD parent is better than children watching abuse. My g/f stayed married “for the kids” and they are all in therapy now..esp the oldest, who remembers watching his Dad abuse her daily…and then he finally broke his arm..at age 16, after being beat up by him physically and verbally abused all of his life. My g/f said that she idolized MY life, (imagine that), being alone to raise my children in a peaceful happy home. She wouldn’t leave him because she knew he had “issues” and she “loved” him!
Well, I loved my children MORE. I took a big chance of living in a shelter with my children when he left..which I told him to do…but I didn’t tell him to leave us penniless and homeless.
I ended up buying a house for us, and raising my children alone….which was a big struggle…but, I didn’t want them to grow up in a battlefield ….watching him abuse me and them.
It doesn’t matter how many people raise children in a household….but if even ONE is abusive, the kids will grow up with major issues.
I had both parents, five kids…and a socio mom. She destroyed all of us..my Dad also. He died from the stress from her…and we all have anxiety issues. The oldest , my sister, is a sociopath who has 3 children..one committed suicide, two hate her.
The whole problem with our society is because of the endless cycle of abuse, poor parenting…dysfunctional homes…breeding psychopaths to different degrees.
Maybe when the govt steps in and mandates classes in psychology, relationships, and parenting…and we educate people about creating monsters….we may have a chance to save the world that we are destroying….we are doing it to ourselves.
I see so many people who have children they cannot afford…sometimes situational because ONE leaves the other to raise them alone…then they are stressed out…neglect their children and/or abuse them….and they grow up and repeat the pattern….viscious cycle.
My parents had so many financial problems but kept having children! Who suffers?…..
I did it alone without the socio around. I’m glad he chose not to see his children all of these years…and now, the cats in the cradle…….They don’t want any part of him.
Thank God. They will NEVER let anyone abuse them. Their “role model” (ME) taught them that they can do it alone…if they get an education ..and good career…they have thier ticket to freedom…..and always will be able to escape abuse.
If I didn’t have a teaching degree…I would be dead today. He was Scott Peterson.
Now if we could just get the article which should be the other side of that same coin:
“Locking up bad mothers is good for kids”
Statistically “The kids are all right with just Dad” is more accurate.
Interesting how the research only ever goes one way.
As for the conclusions applying solely to minorities, that doesn’t even deserve airtime. No examination whatsoever as to why incarceration of white men only went up 1% in the same timeframe. Oxy’s point about statistical correlation not being equivalent to causality is a very important one.
Annie, I agree with you, LOCKING UP BAD PARENTS is a good thing for the kids. Unfortunately, most of the time “bad parents” don’t go far enough to break the law, or even if they do, unless they seriously wound or kill the child no one reports it and the kids go on living in hell on earth.
The policy of “reuniting the family” at any and all costs is horrible in my opinion, and there are some families that should NOT be “united.” Problem is though, with the foster care system over loaded with kids who are bruised and beaten and no where to put them, and not enough adoptive homes, where would you put the kids taken away from the abusive parents?
I am very much for assisting single mothers and fathers with education so they can get better and more stable jobs, but with the economy in the pits for everyone I don’t see that coming along very soon. I raised children for 7 years alone, with a tiny amount of child support and we lived in poverty while I went to school, I got loans and grants and worked almost full time and managed to get through on my own with that small amount of help. I also had a community of friends who were single parents and students and we supported and helped each other get through it all.
I hear you Oxy. However my point was that we somehow only ever speak about locking up bad fathers, with the unspoken assumption that child and spousal abuse only ever goes one way. Statistically that’s just not true. I just wish we could start to get a more balanced and accurate treatment of this issue.
My life would have been entirely different had my mother been removed from the family. My father, while not perfect, was a kind, loving, fun person. Just this year I realized that all of my happy memories were when he was around and my mother wasn’t. If he had been raising us alone we would have spent time with our grandparents (both sets), aunts, uncles, cousins, etc… Instead my mother managed to keep us isolated from every good person and influence (and cry “victim” at the same time btw). Life was fun and happy when we were with my father (in the early days before his soul was sucked out by my mother).
I would have given anything to be raised in a single-parent family – just not the way this article envisions.
Dear Annie,
I agree, and BloggerT’s site (it is on the blog roll here) about female abusers is very interesting. Even with sexual abuse, women are as bad or worse than male abusers, and he has the studies and statistics to back it up. The media almost seems to act as if female abusers of any kind are a RARE thing, but it is not the case at all.
Many times abusive women will also cry “rape” or “child abuser” in the middle of a divorce and wreck the life of their male partner who is totally innocent.
I brought my younger sister to the doctor with bleeding welts on her back from my mother beating her with a belt.
This was back in the 70’s.
Today, the doctor would have been required by law to report her.
Thank God for the change of laws.
I see many women during the day in stores alone..calling children names..ignoring them..etc. It breaks my heart.
And, life goes on….cycles repeat.
Hi tobehappy,
That must have been frightening – that took a lot of courage on your part. Did the doctor say or do anything to help either of you?
All: For the record, I’m not trying to whitewash fathers here. I’ve seen enough, and been victimized by men myself enough, to know that there are many many horrible fathers that children would be entirely better off without, and I agree with the above comments that children are infinitely better off with the sociopathic parent removed. It’s just that we have this awful double standard, and the truth is that we don’t protect so many of the vulnerable in our societies.
Annie,
I understand your perspective. NEITHER of my parents were “fit” to parent at all, however we were left in charge with my mother at the helm. Hell,it wouldn’t have been so bad had she not been a virtual ACCOMPLICE in my stepfather molesting me. It wasn’t until she died that I realized that she hated me………just like her mother hated her……..
WIsh I had been put up for adoption. The ONE person in the world who should have kept me safe and believed when I told her about my molestation, was my mother. But she did not.
It’s interesting, your perspective………..I feel pissed off with you describing it. ANd that is a direct result of the lack of my mother’s validation and protection.
As a mother of six, three of whom were molested by a neighbor guy (They went before a grand jury and his ass now sits in prison for a VERY long time), I could NOT imagine not believing my children. It was that belief that worked with the DA on the case to get this man prosecuted……but it was my girls who were so brave to go and tell their stories before grand jury…..
I can’t imagine not supporting my children. Not like that.
I”m sorry for your experiences and I understand how painful that is. Somehow, I wonder if it’s not MORE painful, because this woman that carried you in her womb for nine months, I would automatically assume would be protective……
I know I felt that way about my babies. My mother did not about me. I cannot imagine it.
LL